5th most-quoted character in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law: in 10 of its 80 quotes
Most scenes with: Harvey Birdman (7)
Scenes with Mentok the Mind-Taker 10
So, you are a musical group correct?
JJabberjaw
... Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Mentok
Oh for God's sakes...you, the shark. No more from you today, okay?
NMNeptunes member
Someone with something yummy in his tummy?
Mentok
[to stenographer] Those guys over there, they're gonna lose this one. Pretty sure of it. No, I know it.
And before you answer this next question, let me remind you that you swore [pulls out a giant Bible] ON A BIBLE to tell the truth here today. [throws it away] So, tell us [points above] AND GOD, where the song 'Lovely Lovely' came from? HE'D like to know.
NMNeptunes member
Uh, we don't know.
Mentok
More witnesses, evidence, anything like that?
Mentok
[in Peter Potamus's head] Call Shado to the stand.
I... call... Shado... to the... stand... Now what?
Mentok
[in Peter Potamus's head] Ask him the question.
Mentok
Go on.
Did you... get... that thing I... sent ya?
SShado
[telepathically] THE THING YOU SENT? [talking out loud] I'm sure I did! One moment... [sorting through papers] I think it was on buff, or maybe goldenrod.
Mentok
And how long did they have to respond, Mr. Potamus?
Mentok
Oh, and let's see. That was two weeks ago right... now! MISTRIAL!
SShado
[talking out loud] But nobody knew about that request for discovery. I hid it so well! How—
Mentok
Did I know? Back at the bar, when you thought we were getting all palsy-walsy, I was actually flipping through that sorry organizer you call a mind, looking for DIRT! Ya know what we call THAT?! MIND-TAKING BABY!!!!! ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!!!!!! YOU'VE TRIED THE REST, NOW TRY THE BEST!! ONCE YOU'VE GONE BLACK, YOU NEVER GO BACK!!!!!!!!!
So, I didn't hurt this guy, or that guy, or that guy, or this...gal?
Mentok
Oh, no. You hurt 'em, Birdy. You hurt 'em real bad. But you won! And that's all that matters!
Mr. Mole, please show us your uniform.
MMMorocco Mole
My uniform?
The Geneva Convention states that only those in uniform are considered soldiers.
Objection, he isn't even wearing any pants.
Neither am I. Is that a crime?
Mentok
Uh, yes. Yes, it is.
Mentok
You're no longer in control of your mind, and your wings are missing too.
I am no longer in control of my mind, and my wings are missing too.
Mentok
Ehh, you don't have to repeat what I'm saying.
I don't have to repeat what you're saying.
Mentok
I mean it stop it.
I mean it stop it... You mean it stop it
Mentok
Okay, lets try this: you only do it when I say "Mentok Says," okay?
Mentok
Okay, good.
Mentok
I didn't say "Mentok says."
SSpyro
So, Mr. Dum-Dum, please tell us what happened on the morning of the 24th.
DDDum-Dum
Der, well, it was a Thursday. Thursday's the garbage day in our house.
Mentok
[in his head] This is my life. This... is what it's come to. Off the charts IQ, best schools in the galaxy, and I'm stuck here with Butter-Boob (Dum-Dum) and Nit-Snicky (Sypro).
Mentok
[To the dog and Spyro, who have swapped minds] You two, scat. I wanna lock up.
SSpyro (as dog)
I'll bite you on the ass. Growl.
Mentok
Oh alright, I'll switch you back. Geez; spoilsport. Booweeoop'kay.
[an unearthy voice utters 'MENTOK' as the mind of Spyro and a dog exchange bodies]
Mentok
[to Spyro] Say something. [Spyro barks] Uh,oh. [to dog] You? [dog barks] Mmmmnot good.
Mentok
What's the meaning of this? This is my quiet time.
We're going to have to take you into custody.
Mentok
Ha ha. That's outrageous. What am I charged with?
Don't have to tell you anymore. Clearly you haven't been reading your Scalia.
Mentok
Used to be a genie. I was also a sex worker, a Cossack, and an EST instructor for a summer in Marin. My point? I'm in jail, you idiot! Look, Shazzan has everyone fooled. He's trying to pin it on me.
So, we'll...we'll just go to the judge and tell him your story.
Mentok
I'm a judge! We don't believe anything!
[alone in his kitchen] I have to call this number after five P.M. to see if it is necessary to report for Jury Duty... Who am I talking to?
Please say no, please say no...
Mentok
[answering the phone] If your number is below two thousand three hundred fifty eight...
Mentok
You don't have to report tomorrow.
Mentok
I'm not finished.
Mentok
If your number is divisible by fourteen, you don't have to report.
Damn! [starts doing long division]
Mentok
If two trains left your number at the same time headed in opposite directions, you don't have to report.
Mentok
If your number is two thousand three hundred fifty nine or above, you don't have to report.
Mentok
Unless it is two thousand three hundred fifty nine, and then you do! WE'LL SEE YOU AT 5:45 AM, SUCKERRRR!!!
(numbers popping up) Case #398567703296...
Mentok
...7228489273124...
Mentok
And he's not alone; I gave him the keys to the Death-Con 12 (12).
Mentok
Hey, nobody's perfekt. That's spelled with a K.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law · 80 quotes
