X The Eliminator quotes from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

X, The Eliminator

Yes, it is I; X, the Eliminator, and only I can rid you of this scourge; Birdman.

What is your price?

X, The Eliminator

One million dollars

It is agreed; we will give you the money, and in exchange you will bring us the crest of Birdman

X, The Eliminator

....thats it? for that amount of money I thought I'd have to.. well, y'know; kill him.

Oh, God no.

What are you? Crazy?

Mr.—slight retch—Birdman's office.

X

Hi, Debbie, it's me. Put me through please. [Debbie hangs up] Hello? [Redials] It's X. Uh, X the Eliminator? Yeah, I'd like to speak to Harvey if I could, please.

No, he's booked through December. Try back next year.

X

Look! I need to talk to him, okay? It's regarding tonight's menu!

I don't have him down for dinner.

X

I...didn't invite him yet. [Debbie hangs up again] I understand. Short notice. [Slams phone down] I hate him!

Um, well?

X

He's not coming!

Hi. I've changed my menu options, so please listen carefully. For landscaping, press one. Dog walking, press two. Nude housecleaning, press any key any time...

X

[impatiently] Come on, come on, come on...

If you need an Evil Life Coach, press four.

X

[awkwardly] Hi... uh, heh... Well, I saw your ad, and uh...

You have... ten... seconds.

X

[frantically] PLEASE HELP ME, I'M NOT EVIL ENOUGH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! MAKE ME EVIL!