What would we do without you, Fonzie?
Well, you'd be up a creek, Mrs. C.
Yeah, our car'd be stuck in the snow, our tree'd be out, and our Santa Claus would be mugging the neighbors.
S2 E11Guess Who's Coming to Christmas
We're gonna have fun. Look, we'll, we'll pop popcorn, and we'll toast the marshmallows, and we'll drink some cider and trim the tree, and then, later on, I'll read The Night Before Christmas.
[singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells, boring all the way.
No singing at the table, Joanie.
S2 E12Open House
What is it you did last night?
Do you wanna hear what really happened or the lie we're gonna tell everybody else?
Start with the lie. It's probably more interesting.
You know what my idea of a perfect girl is, Fonz?
[rolling eyes] I have no idea. Thrill me.
I like a girl... with a cute face... a cute build... and a nice personality.
No, you don't say.
What's your idea of the perfect girl, Fonzie?
45-22-34... with her own Harley.
S2 E13Fonzie's Getting Married
You realize we're probably gonna have to sit through six other strippers before she comes out.
If we hurry!
S2 E14The Cunningham Caper
Burglar, meet my friends, Ralph and Potsie.
BBurglar
You need to widen your circle of acquaintances. These are the most useless friends I've ever seen.
BBurglar
You know, I could use a good, strong kid like you. Ever think of becoming a burglar?
If I don't get into dental school, you'll be the first one I call.
S2 E15The Not-Making of the President
Since when is politics the key to sex?
Are you kidding? I heard about a guy who was canvassing in '52. He rang a lady's doorbell and didn't come out till '54.
I know I'm right. Why should I have to apologize?
Because he is your father.
Right or wrong, I always apologize. It keeps my allowance coming in.
S2 E16Cruisin
We're gonna go cruising and see if we can catch onto some new talent.
Why don't you drop Mary Anne, and come with us?
BBag
Not me. You know the old saying, "A bird in the hand ..."
Yeah, but what you have is a dog on a leash.
I don't get it. Two red-headed gods and she picks Potsie Weber. Maybe she feels sorry for him.
No, she doesn't know him the way we do.
S2 E17The Howdy Doody Show
I'm gonna interview Howdy Doody.
How are you gonna do that?
I'm gonna pull a few strings.
S2 E18Get a Job
With a divorcée, all you gotta do is establish a relationship.
With a glass of water?
It's a start, Rich, it's a start. It gets you inside the house. Then, you charm your way into her private quarters. From there, you're just one subtle move away from paradise.
You go from a glass of water to paradise?
Mom, you're not still mad, are you?
I'm not still mad because I never was mad. You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.
You're mad. You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.
Don't feel bad. When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."
S2 E19Fonzie Joins the Band
Yeah, just wait 'til my bongo solo.
[glancing at the others] We don't have a bongo solo. [Fonzie glares at him] Oh, but we'll put one in, Fonz! Right guys?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Happy Days pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.