Joanie Cunningham quotes from Happy Days

Joanie

Today is Junior Chipmunk father/daughter outing.

Howard

Marion, can't you go?

Joanie

Oh, great. The only event I'll win is the prettiest father.

Howard

What are you going to wear to Ralph's costume party?

Richie

I haven't decided yet.

Marion

How about something like Donald Duck?

Richie

Oh, Mom!

Marion

What's wrong with Donald Duck?

Joanie

Mom, it's hard to neck with a beak.

Marion

How was the Junior Chipmunk meeting, dear?

Joanie

It was good. Barbara Jo Allen ate a fly.

Howard

Well, with beef at 68 cents a pound, I can't blame her.

Joanie

[after Richie rushes out of the Simpson house] You really look scared, Richie.

Richie

I am not. Don't be ridiculous. I just want to get home. I'm hungry.

Joanie

You'll have a hard time eating with your heart in your throat, Richie.

Richie

Ha, ha, ha.

Joanie

Boy, I wish the man would finish fixing our TV set.

Marion

Well, he promised to get our picture tube back in seven to ten days.

Joanie

Yeah, but I'm not gonna last that long. I'll go stir crazy.

Howard

Do what you did before we had television.

Joanie

I sat around wishing we had a TV.

Howard

We're gonna have fun. Look, we'll, we'll pop popcorn, and we'll toast the marshmallows, and we'll drink some cider and trim the tree, and then, later on, I'll read The Night Before Christmas.

Joanie

[singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells, boring all the way.

Howard

No singing at the table, Joanie.

Richie

I know I'm right. Why should I have to apologize?

Marion

Because he is your father.

Joanie

Right or wrong, I always apologize. It keeps my allowance coming in.

Richie

Mom, you're not still mad, are you?

Marion

I'm not still mad because I never was mad. You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.

Richie

You're mad. You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.

Joanie

Don't feel bad. When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."

Joanie

Hey, Rich.

Marion

Good morning, Richie. Would you like Corn Flakes for breakfast, dear?

Richie

[clenches his teeth at his mother] I never want Corn Flakes again. Oatmeal.

Marion

Well, I thought you liked Corn Fla--

Richie

[slaps the table, then screams at her] OATMEAL!!!!

Marion

I'll make oatmeal. [storms to grab a canister of "Quaker Oats" oatmeal, then looks at her son, shocked, with her hand to her heart]

Howard

[shocked, then angry] What kind of a way is that to talk to your mother?!

Richie

[sweetly] Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. Corn Flakes are OK. You see, I tried out some of the advice that the Fonz gave me the other night. And he said that if you sound tough, people listen, and it works!

Howard

Boy, I say! [to Marion, pointing to Joanie and Richie from right to left] This one with her "hi-schow" and this one yelling like King Kong! [throws his napkin on the table and storms to the door] Who could eat breakfast around here?! I'm going down to the store.

Marion

You're going nowhere. Sit down! [Howard sits right back down] And start eating, Howie! All of you, EAT! [smiles and has her thumb up] And chalk one up for the Fonz.

Fonzie

WHOA!

Fonzie

Correct-amundo.

Sit on it!

Richie

Hey, Bucko!

Richie

Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah!

Ralph

I still got it!

Yeeeep, yep yep yep yep yep...

Wah, wah, wah!

Joanie

What a hunk!

Marion

Are you getting frisky, Howard?

Howard

Jiminy Crickets!

You've got to get a name. (This is in reference to Richie's nameless rock band)