Fonzie quotes from Happy Days

Fonzie

You gotta have cousins and in-laws and stuff. I mean, all those people! I got nothing against marriage, but how am I gonna get them all on my bike at the same time?

Richie

We played chess.

Fonzie

You played with her chest?

Aw, Fonzie. I'm ashamed of you. I never expected to see you in here for draggin' - especially against Skizzy. Now, don't tell me you lost your cool.

Fonzie

Hey, he insulted a friend. I just thought it was my duty to drive, you know?

Well, I guess chivalry ain't what it used to be.

Richie

You make school sound like good fun.

Fonzie

Well, school's got good points. I mean, smoking in the bathroom, cutting classes, showing my tattoo to the chicks.

Marion

What do you plan to do when you get out of school?

Fonzie

Oh, I was thinking I might become a cop.

Marion

That's very admirable.

Fonzie

I mean, it's the only job I know where they pay you to drive a motorcycle.

Fonzie

Hey, Cunningham, which is cooler? The mirrors up like this at an angle or down like this, straight?

Richie

Well, I think you can see better with them down at an angle.

Fonzie

Hey, I don't wanna see where I've been. I wanna see how cool I look getting there!

Fonzie

Like I always say, you live fast, you die young, you leave a good-looking corpse.

Potsie

Hey, that's cool.

Richie

Nick Romano said that in Knock on Any Door.

Fonzie

I think I said it better.

Richie

Fonzie, did your family ever have a second car?

Fonzie

Nope. But we got four motorcycles. We even got a sidecar for my grandma.

Fonzie

I went out with a girl like that once. Broke up with her in two and a half minutes.

Richie

How did you do it?

Fonzie

Well, I wrote a note and threw it through her window. Of course, it was wrapped in a brick.

Fonzie

You got nothing to fear but fear itself.

Richie

Didn't somebody else say that?

Fonzie

Well, if they did, they got it from the Fonz.

Richie

I don't know that much about Hamlet, Fonzie, but I'll teach you everything I know.

Fonzie

Go.

Richie

All right.

Howard

So, you're gonna play the "Melancholy Dane," huh?

Fonzie

Hey, wait a minute! I don't play animals!

Marion

What would we do without you, Fonzie?

Fonzie

Well, you'd be up a creek, Mrs. C.

Richie

Yeah, our car'd be stuck in the snow, our tree'd be out, and our Santa Claus would be mugging the neighbors.

Richie

You know what my idea of a perfect girl is, Fonz?

Fonzie

[rolling eyes] I have no idea. Thrill me.

Richie

I like a girl... with a cute face... a cute build... and a nice personality.

Fonzie

No, you don't say.

Richie

What's your idea of the perfect girl, Fonzie?

Fonzie

45-22-34... with her own Harley.

Fonzie

Yeah, just wait 'til my bongo solo.

Ralph

[glancing at the others] We don't have a bongo solo. [Fonzie glares at him] Oh, but we'll put one in, Fonz! Right guys?

Ralph

What do you think we should do?

Fonzie

I think we should rake him over the coals until he cries wolf.

Potsie

Isn't that a mixed metaphor?

Fonzie

Do you think he's gonna know the difference?