We're gonna go cruising and see if we can catch onto some new talent.
Why don't you drop Mary Anne, and come with us?
BBag
Not me. You know the old saying, "A bird in the hand ..."
Yeah, but what you have is a dog on a leash.
S2 E16Cruisin
I don't get it. Two red-headed gods and she picks Potsie Weber. Maybe she feels sorry for him.
No, she doesn't know him the way we do.
S2 E17The Howdy Doody Show
I'm gonna interview Howdy Doody.
How are you gonna do that?
I'm gonna pull a few strings.
S2 E18Get a Job
With a divorcée, all you gotta do is establish a relationship.
With a glass of water?
It's a start, Rich, it's a start. It gets you inside the house. Then, you charm your way into her private quarters. From there, you're just one subtle move away from paradise.
You go from a glass of water to paradise?
Mom, you're not still mad, are you?
I'm not still mad because I never was mad. You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.
You're mad. You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.
Don't feel bad. When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."
S2 E19Fonzie Joins the Band
Yeah, just wait 'til my bongo solo.
[glancing at the others] We don't have a bongo solo. [Fonzie glares at him] Oh, but we'll put one in, Fonz! Right guys?
We didn't get the job, I know it.
You'd better be wrong. I already spent the money we didn't earn from the last job we didn't get.
S2 E20Fish and Fins
What's bothering you, Richard?
Nothing, Mom. Why?
Well, I always know when my children are troubled. You see, Joanie sucks her thumb, you stand holding the basketball and you don't shoot, and Chuck just sucks his thumb.
S2 E21Richie's Flip Side
What do you think we should do?
I think we should rake him over the coals until he cries wolf.
Isn't that a mixed metaphor?
Do you think he's gonna know the difference?
[Richie studies the dedication Fonzie wants him to read out on the radio]
"To the Drysdale sisters, Beth and Jenny, from Fonzie and Sam."
Yeah.
Who's Sam?
Oh, that's me. I don't want the Drysdale sisters to know they're competing.
S2 E22Kiss Me Sickly
Are your glands swollen?
Well, I don't go around feeling my glands.
[to Potsie] Irritability, that's another symptom! [feels behind Richie's ears] Could be swollen. Why didn't I wear rubber gloves?
Who's the girl?
Denise Hudson.
The one with the terrific perfume? Oh, you've got good taste.
Except she's Fonzie's girl, and I was supposed to be keeping the other guys away from her while he's gone.
Good taste and bad judgement.
S2 E23Goin' to Chicago
[Ralph believes two of his teachers are having an affair]
Last week, I went into Pinney's office. He was blowing in her ear! He tried to cover up by saying he was demonstrating his perfect pitch.
You just have a suspicious mind.
My mind's not suspicious, just dirty.
[Ralph and Potsie have to share a bed]
If you snore, you're gonna get a pillow down your throat.
Well, you'd better stay on your side of the bed.
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know. That's what my mom tells my dad.
S3 E6Richie Fights Back
Hey, Mr. Cuningham, it's all over. Would you join us, please?
[Richie storms into Fonzie's "office"]
What's wrong with the kid?
His date walked out on him.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Happy Days pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.