[stammers] I can’t believe it! A jailbird?
Okay, I see you’re very focused on Guy right now.
Yes! He’s in there with my child. A jailbird!
Quick reminder, Guy got arrested on purpose, just to save me!
Jailbird!
S1 E8Rain
So, you really think I smell like flowers and cupcakes?
GGuy
Yes I do.
That’s sweet. I guess that’s the kind of Guy you are.
So, Guy tells me you're a bean counter. Fascinating. Tell me absolutely everything there is to know, starting right now. [He grabs a chair and sits on it]
Well, it was a very interesting job, and I've been doing it for eleven... [Sam starts to nod off, then jolts awake] No, no, actually, 11.5 years now. I began as a number cruncher... [Sam pours a cup of coffee and takes a sip, but it fails to keep him awake and he drifts off again] And I cut my teeth on the soft numbers before they got crunchier. [Sam pours coffee onto his eyes] Anyway, after that I climbed the corporate ladder, one rung at a time. The first rung was kind of slippery. [Sam does jumping jacks, but is on the verge of falling asleep yet again and falls off the chair, down the back of the couch]
I'm awake!
S1 E9Goat
GGuy
Stay safe, please.
Did you know he could do that?
GGuy
You should see what he does to a hotel room.
Whoo! We are home free. Everyone knows goats can't climb.
GGuy
What kind of wildlife expert are you? Goats are known especially for their climbing!
That is an outdated stereotype, and I prefer not to perpetuate it.
We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way, amigo. Now why don't you just tell your little friend to come out, too?
GGuy
Afraid he's busy, hombre. Rustlin' up some green eggs and ham.
[smirking] Mmm, that sounds good! How 'bout we eat 'em together?
GGuy
[grimly] No. I will not eat them with a goat.
[growls] Looks like you chose the hard way.
GGuy
Is this the hard way? I know what you’re here for. And it’s yours if... you promise me you’ll stay far away from the two girls who just drove out of here... forever.
Is this seat taken?
GGuy
No, no, uh, not at all. I-I mean, you rented this place, so you’re fully within your rights to sit wherever you.. please.
You know, I was just thinking. I mean, if you guys wanted, maybe we could all team up and... uh, go to Meepville together?
[all exclaim]
GGuy
Um, are you sure?
Well, yes. Of course, it’s a practical decision, and there is, after all, safety in numbers. So, what do you say?
[Sam talking with his mouth full]
GGuy
Uh, he said, "We’d love to.”
(As skye (paw patrol)) (gasping happy) yippee! We’re going to Meepville!
Hey! Are you ready to get this show on the road? Because we’re all packed up over here. We’re just a couple of packin’ fools! [chuckling] We’re wacky packers!
GGuy
[sighs] We can’t go with you.
What? But... you can’t why?
GGuy
It just seems to me that we’d all be safer if we... [inhales] ...if we went to Meepville separately.
But I... I thought we agreed. Safety in numbers, am I right? Guy, if something’s wrong, you can tell me.
GGuy
I’m sorry, but you two should leave right now.
I thought we were all gonna go together.
Uh, change of plans. The four of us are too much fun for one car.
I guess that’s it then.
GGuy
Trust me. We’re all just... We’re all just better off on our own.
Hey, Mom. Do you think we’ll ever see Sam and Guy again?
Not if I can help it. We don’t need people like that in our lives, E.B. [E.B. sighs and Michellee sighs] That Guy! Said he wanted us to be safe, but you know what I bet? I bet they’re relaxing somewhere, having a really great time, not a care in the world!
You two think you can defile my wheels and abscond with my cargo? And get away with it?
GGuy
That’s our friend. You can-eater!
S1 E10House
Your family really seems to like green eggs and ham. Speaking of which, I know we've been through this once or twice, but I thought now might be a good time. They are really good in a house. This one especially. So... it's a maybe then? Right. Am-I's, tell me about Am-You's.
[realizing Guy is in a sheet tent on a branch of his treehouse] I love a good sheet tent. [makes his way over there with an illuminated pinwheel and a plate of green eggs and ham] Back when I was a kid, I built one with my mom. Yeah, we'd-
[Sam stops talking when he sees Guy sitting with his back turned, clearly upset. Sam sets his things aside, sits down and makes a shadow puppet of Mr. Jenkins in an effort to cheer him up]
We'd snuggle up tight, and she'd make shadow puppets on the wall.
GGuy
[still upset] Sounds like an amazing family.
Just like yours.
GGuy
They're amazing, all right. That's the problem. They're... They're all huge successes, and the only thing I've ever succeeded at... [looks over his shoulder] ... is failure.
[trying to stay positive] At least you're the best at something, right?
GGuy
[annoyed] You heard how they are with me, all the phony flattery. [looks away again] What they really mean is I'm a disappointment. Always have been.
That's not true.
GGuy
You don't have to say that.
Guy, I mean it. You never disappointed them. They're just a little sad to see you give up, because they know how great and creative you are, and they hate to see you throw that away. [puts a hand on Guy's shoulder] They love you, Guy. Believe me. You're lucky to have them.
GGuy
[sighs and pulls away] You don't understand.
[after a brief silence] I do. [sighs, sadly] I know exactly how lucky you are... because... I never had a family.
GGuy
[jerks his head around, shocked] What did you say?
[guiltily] I made it all up.
GGuy
But what about the sheet tent story with your mom?
[shaking his head] There was never a sheet tent.
GGuy
[finally turning around to face Sam] Or the stuffed animals she bought you at the fair, and-and the juice you spilled that you were sorry for, and your imaginary friend, Reggie, who she pretended was real?
[ashamed] I made him up too.
[Guy stares at him in surprise]
I never told anybody this before but... when I was very little, my mom... [holds back tears] ...left me at an orphanage. It's always just been me. I mean, at least until I met you.
GGuy
[concerned] Do you remember anything about your parents?
I remember my mom... a little. Just one thing.
GGuy
What?
It's not important.
GGuy
Go ahead.
It's silly.
GGuy
[gently] Sam.
[looking at the green eggs and ham on the plate before him] She made me breakfast.
[Guy's eyes widen in realization]
GGuy
I bet hers... were really good.
[smiling wistfully] The best. Really green. Super eggy. [picks up one of the eggs with his fork; his face falls] I've been trying to find her all these years, so I could ask why, you know? Why she gave me up.
[Guy nods in understanding and Sam chuckles sadly]
I'm sure it's a good reason. I just... really want to know. So I keep ordering them, and I keep trying them. [eats the egg on his fork. After he swallows, he holds back his tears again] But they're... never hers.
[Guy puts a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam looks up at him in awe]
GGuy
[softly] Keep trying, Sam.
[Sam and Guy exchange warm smiles]
I will.
S1 E11Boat
I bet he really misses his mom. Don't you think?
[Sam cringes slightly and looks ahead at his lunch]
I know I would.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Green Eggs and Ham pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.