Mabel, if you don't hand over those pool supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever.
Okay, I understand. Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!
Really? At night?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Now all I've got to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens... This was a good plan.
Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!
Mermen don't breathe air!
Then give him reverse CPR, doi!
[Repeatedly fills his mouth with water and spits it into Mermando's] I hate this, I hate this.
[Takes a picture of Dipper and Mermando with their lips together] Haha, blackmail.
[Mermando sits up, able to breathe again.]
Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake?
[Shot widens to reveal them sitting a few feet away from the edge of the lake]
Agh!
Alright, let a pro on the field. Or floor...whatever.
[Dipper hits the golf ball, causing it to break some things, and it ends up crashing through a window.]
AH, MY HEAD! IT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE HEAD!
Soos, can I sleep in your break room tonight?
Sure, dude. [Opens door to reveal small room full of pipes.] You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block. The trick is to hold perfectly still. [Repeatedly burns arm on pipe.] Ow! Wait, wait. Ow! Wait, wait. Ow! Wait, wai. Actually felt kind of good that time.
Ah, sleeping under the stars. Not bad. [Dipper sees a wolf chewing on his leg.] Ah, get off! Get away! [Camera compares Mabel's sleepover to Dipper been chewed on by a wolf.] This is still better.
Candy falls down now!
Get ready to be poked by the fun stick. Boop.
Ow.
[Watching TV, Stan says this to three different shows; two men, two deer, and two babies.] Fight, fight, fight!
AAnnouncer
Baby fights! Will return in a minute.
TV. It knows what I want.
Man, that's refreshing. Ten suck-up points to this lemonade. [In high-pitched voice] Thank you, Stan[Normal] Ten more for politeness. Oh, and so sweet.
Don't get too comfortable, brother. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face.
I have seen the face of beauty.
[In Mabel's body] Braces are horrible. It's like my mouth hates me.
[In Dipper's body] Hey, Grunkle Stan. Your face looks like a butt.
What?!
Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink.
[Stan discovers Mabel in Dipper's body watching Dipper in her body hanging out with her friends]
What's goin' on, Dipper? Ah, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man-to-man talk - about the birds and the bees, you know?
[Cut to Stan opening a book called "Why Am I Sweaty?"]
I—I should really be going-
No way out of it. Look, it all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has BIG PLANS...
[screams]
[later; closing the book] And now you know where babies come from.
Goodbye, childhood.
3, 4, 5. [Phone rings.] It's him, my dream date. Hello?
RVRobot Voice
Hello baby, this is Kevin. My beach house has room for 2.
Kevin has the voice of a robot.
Don't ruin this for me, Candy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.