Farkle Minkus quotes from Girl Meets World

Farkle Minkus

[raising his hand] Farkle time, sir?

Go ahead, kid. If you gotta Farkle, you gotta Farkle.

Cory Matthews

Riley, what is going on here?

Maya Hart

Farkle kissed my hand!

Cory Matthews

[to Farkle] You did?

Farkle Minkus

It was glorious.

Farkle Minkus

[mumbles] I was "wroh."

Cory Matthews

Excuse me?

Farkle Minkus

I was "wrohh!"

Cory Matthews

Well, it takes a big man to admit when he was "wrohh."

Cory Matthews

What is a lie? What are the effects of a lie on the human soul?

Riley Matthews

Why are you looking at me?

Cory Matthews

The man who summed up the price of a lie was Edgar Allan Poe in "The Tell-Tale Heart". Farkle?

So this guy chops somebody up, hides him in the floor. He's cool for awhile, but all of a sudden, boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom! His guilty conscience made him hear the heartbeat under the floorboards. So, he gave himself up. Some people just ain't cut out for this stuff.

Farkle Minkus

He called on me, you know.

I know stuff. I know a lot of stuff. I know stuff about you.

Farkle Minkus

You don't know anything about me.

Boom, boom.

Farkle Minkus

Why would you do that?

Boom, boom.

Farkle Minkus

I don't understand.

Boom, boom!

Farkle Minkus

[panicked] All through kindergarten, I never fell asleep once! I was faking all my naps! Faking them. I can't do it. I don't know how Maya can just fall asleep anywhere!

Maya Hart

Where's Garaboski?

Lucas Friar

Uh oh.

Riley Matthews

Did we do it?

Farkle Minkus

Did we finally break him?

Cory Matthews

[walks in] You broke him!

Cory Matthews

Quiet! Mr. Garaboski retired yesterday.

Cory Matthews

Quiet! The guy survives Vietnam *and* *Mrs.* Garaboski, and he can't get past you. Now, he left a letter here that expressed his feelings. "Dear you little"- okay, I can't read this.

Lucas Friar

He always talked about the good old days, before 1985.

Riley Matthews

What happened in 1985?

Farkle Minkus

That was the year the New York Board of Education said you couldn't hit a kid with a ruler.

Maya Hart

I have no interest living in a world without Riley and Farkle. And I'm not going anywhere until you to come back, you hear me?

Farkle Minkus

Maya, the people you knew aren't here any more.

Maya Hart

Then can you please tell me where I can find them?

Riley Matthews

They're in the yearbook. Keep in touch and have an awesome summer.

Cory Matthews

Semi-formal coming up. Young men and young women interacting. Mixing in a social situation. So, to avoid any casualties, I thought we could discuss etiquette. Can anyone here tell me what etiquette is? [Farkle raises his hand] No, you can't.

Farkle Minkus

Etiquette is treating people politely and with respect. Maya and I will demonstrate in a short play we put on before every dance. It's called, "No". [in a formal voice] Miss Hart, would you do me the great honor of accompanying me to the semi-formal festivities?

Maya Hart

No.

Farkle Minkus

Etiquette.

Maya Hart

Etiquette.

Farkle Minkus

Thank you.

Maya Hart

Thank you.

Farkle Minkus

We'll see you at the holidays for "A Christmas No".

Farkle, I have the results of your...

Farkle Minkus

[interrupting] Of my IQ and aptitude test? I'm a genius, right? You know how I know? Because I'm a genius. It's not conceited when it's true, Mr. Matthews?

Cory Matthews

I wouldn't know. I'm barely literate.

Isadora Smackle

We are both geniuses now.

Farkle Minkus

Yup. That makes us even more alike that we were. And as we both know...

Isadora Smackle

[sadly] Like forces repel. Yes, science says we may never be together.

Farkle Minkus

And science never makes a mistake.

Riley Matthews

Really? Have you seen the blobfish? [shows them a picture of one and pretends to cry] Why, science? Why?

Farkle Minkus

Every sport is the same. Being good at sports is just a matter of physics.

Lucas Friar

Don't you mess up America's most favorite thing with America's least favorite thing!

Farkle Minkus

I've never even understood this game. You run around the bases and try to get home, right?

Lucas Friar

Yeah.

Farkle Minkus

Well, why do you need the other bases?

Lucas Friar

Because you can't get home until you've run all of them.

Farkle Minkus

But the quickest way between two points is a straight line.

Lucas Friar

You wanna get rid of the bases?

Farkle Minkus

Yeah, game's over sooner and we can all get back to physics.

Cory Matthews

[pointing at his drawing of a light bulb] Who invented this?

Farkle Minkus

Thomas Edison, the Wizard of Menlo Park.

Cory Matthews

After how many tries?

Lucas Friar

Six!

Cory Matthews

No! Anyone think he invented it after his first try?

Lucas Friar

I do!

Cory Matthews

No!

Lucas Friar

All right, I was trying something, and now I'm going back to the way things were.

Farkle Minkus

Why didn't he invent the lightbulb on his first try?

'Cause it was dark! [pats Lucas on the shoulder] Got your back.

Farkle Minkus

You won't do anything to me 'cause I'm a New York intellectual and you don't wanna be a cliche.

...Lucas, fetch me my shotgun.

Lucas Friar

Okay!

Farkle Minkus

[about Lucas and Maya] You think they like each other?

I do. But I think they liked each other better when she was yelling at him all the time.

Farkle Minkus

[reading his "forgiveness note"] "Dear Farkle, I forgive you for ruining every single movie we've ever seen together." How do I ruin every single movie?

Ah, read mine. Read mine.

Farkle Minkus

(reads) "I forgive you for figuring out the end of every movie and shouting it out before it happens."

Because, see, we don't want to know.

Farkle Minkus

I just want to share my abilities with my friends.

Lucas Friar

We don't want your abilities.

Your abilities make us want to hurt you.

Farkle Minkus

(talks to Maya and Riley as they leave Mr. Matthews' classroom) Riley, Maya, movie with me?

Riley Matthews

Are you crazy?

Maya Hart

Never again.

Riley Matthews

"She dies!"

Maya Hart

"He blows up!"

Riley Matthews

"She's the killer."

Maya Hart

"Nobody gets out of Monkey Town."

Riley Matthews

Are you crazy?

Maya Hart

Hurt you.

Farkle Minkus

(to Lucas and Zay) Well, thank you for forgiving me. Do you think we could still go to the movies if I stop telling you what happens next?

Lucas Friar

Do you think you can?

Farkle Minkus

Of course I can. "Oh, let's give him one more chance." "Hey!" Then you chase me, and then I scream.

Oh, let's give him one more chance.

Lucas Friar

Hey!

Farkle Minkus

It's just too much fun! Ahh! (Lucas and Zay chase Farkle)

Topanga Matthews

You don't think I can do this, do you?

I think that you are Topanga Matthews, attorney at law, and that might perhaps color the way that you deal with customers, who I don't even think will believe that you're a waitress.

Topanga Matthews

I could be a fine waitress. And what will you have, sir?

Yeah, give me the cheesecake.

Topanga Matthews

You want to try that a different way, chief?