Could it really be a ghost?
Huh? I refuse to believe in things without scientific basis, like ghosts. Though I do believe in the Continent of Mu.
Oh, the woman in the red kimono.
[Gintoki bursts through a hole in a closet and curls up in fright. Shinpachi and Kagura stare blankly.]
What are you doing, Gin-san?
Uh, well... I thought I saw the portal to the Continent of Mu.
Hijikata-san, that guy is... Huh?
[Hijikata is trying to climb into a pot.]
Hijikata-san, what are you doing?
Nothing. Just looking for an entrance to the Mayonnaise Kingdom.
[everyone stares blankly, then leaves.]
Wait, wait, wait! That's wrong! He may be afraid of ghosts, but I'm not!
You're the one who's scared! You probably wanna run home to mommy!
Yeah, yeah, we get it. Doesn't matter if it's in the Continent of Mu or in the Mayonnaise Kingdom, just go and look for them.
[Okita, Kagura and Shinpachi run away in fright.]
Seriously, they should stop fooling around.
Those damn brats. [together with Gintoki, as they slowly turn around.] We won't get fooled that easily...
[when they turn, they are facing the woman in the red kimono, who is upside down in the closet.]
GHGintoki and Hijikata
G... good evening...
[as the woman in the red kimono pursues them.]
Hey, why are we running?
Oi, wait a second! Doesn't it seem like your back's getting heavier?
I don't care! I don't care anymore!
Just check it! I'm feeling something heavy!
Shut up! Why don't you go and check it?
You, you gotta help me look! It ain't gonna kill you!
Hold on! How 'bout this? I'll give a sign, and we turn at the same time!
You'd better look too! No treason! You'd better look! [together with Hijikata] One, two... [they skid to a stop and turn around. The woman in the red kimono is still behind them.] G... good evening...
We're through. This time for sure we're through.
Great. That way, I can become Vice-Commander.
How can you say that?!
[outside the mosquitoes are buzzing loudly.]
GHGintoki and Hijikata
[the former emerges from inside a bush, the latter from the pond in the garden.] Cut that damned buzzing!!! [they then notice each other]
Are you bastard still alive?
You're a flexible cockroach.
[a rustle in a bush scares Gintoki into jumping in the pond where Hijikata is. A frog comes out of it as they poke their heads out of the water.]
Well, now that we're in the water, we should think of a counterattack.
Don't get cocky. I can hear the shiver in your voice. Let me handle this. A chicken like you should crawl back home and rest.
I think you're the coward! I'm sure you just jumped into the pond 'cause your pants were wet!
[a mosquito buzzes by as they argue.]
Why you... You want me to feed you to the ghosts? [the buzz's sound gets louder] I haven't settled the score with you yet! And I see you'll have to compensate me with interest!
Eh? Did I borrow anything from you? [Hijikata getts angrier as the buzzing gets louder] Doesn't matter, I'll give it to you. Besides, I've already bought a new game machine-- [turns to the source of the buzz, together with Hijikata] SHUT UP ALREADY!!! [they see it is the woman in the red kimono, who is flying with mosquito wings, and get scared]
[the woman in the red kimono attacks Gintoki and Hijikata from the air.]
H-h-h-hey! It-it-it's got wings! It's-it's flying!
Wh-wh-wh-wh-what's with y-y-y-you? D-d-don't tell me y-y-you're s-s-s-scared of th-th-that!
Do-do-do-don't be stupid! Who-who-who do you think I-I-I-I-I am, you i-i-idiot?
O-okay then. Th-then, you can fight her, while I'll... go do that thing... [starts to leave, but Hijikata stops him.]
Where are you going? What's "that thing"? You're running away?! Trying to fool me! Asshole!
Why'd I do that? I'll just go look for a bazooka to hit her with!
And where would you get a bazooka?
Everybody has a bazooka in their hearts!
[after defeating the woman in the red kimono.]
Running away from a battle is a desrespect for bushido. You'd better start again and relearn how to be a samurai. [Gintoki raises the woman in the red kimono over his head and throws her at Hijikata.] What the hell do you think you're doing, bastard?!
[spits] You're still a hundred years behind to give me lessons about how to be a samurai.
[after the woman in the red kimono is revealed to be a mosquito hybrid alien.]
Aw, geez. I don't care if it's a ghost or a mosquito, she sure caused a lot of trouble.
It was you who caused me trouble. I said I wouldn't pay for it, so get the hell out.
Hey, did you forget it was my move that finished all of this?
What are you talking about? It was my move before yours that clinched it. Even if you weren't around, I'd be fine.
Pretty tough talk coming from someone who was afraid of death. It would be quite a joke if the one they call the "Vice-Commander from Hell" was afraid of ghosts.
I wasn't scared, just ghost-hunting. Don't get me wrong. You, on the other hand, got scared to near death.
I was just pulling your leg. Actually, I have fun with that sort of thing. If I'm ever bored, how 'bout we have fun again?
[Kagura opens the door behind them.]
Gin-chan, it's time to go... Huh? [the deck where Gintoki and Hijikata were sitting is empty now. She looks down and sees they are both hiding beneath the deck.] What are you guys doing?
GHGintoki and Hijikata
Nothing. I just lost my contacts.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.