“If you're a man, start with a swordfish!"/"If you sleep with your fan on, you'll have constipations, so watch out.”
In this episode: Gintoki (13), Shinpachi (7), Ebina (4), Landplot owner (3), Kagura (1)
[the Yorozuya crew are fishing. Shinpachi catches a weird fish.]
I knew that, since the Amanato came to Earth, lots of freaky creatures appeared.
It's okay, put it in the bucket.
What? You're gonna eat this?!
Of course I will. Be it anko or natto, it doesn't matter if it looks bad when it tastes good.
Gin-san, wasn't that a kappa just now?
Hmph. No way it could be. It was just some bald old man living in a lake.
It wasn't just some bald old man! Wasn't that thing green, by the way?
That... is a side effect of alcohol.
If alcohol has that kind of stuff in it, then no one should drink sake!!!
Excuse me, Ebina-san [the kappa-like alien in the lake]. If I give you my glasses, will you forgive me?
[Ebina puts some mush on Shinpachi's hand.]
Congratulations for your apologies. Here's some cookies as your reward.
I'm thankful, but... What should I do with this?
[a golf club had hit the plate on Ebina's head.]
The plate's broken! Even though I don't know why it's tragic!
You see, that's why I told you to leave this place. This isn't your home, it's my property. As you can see, I bought this whole region.
Shut up! I was living here even before you were in your dad's balls! Why do I have to leave? I mean, don't look over here, it's embarrassing. Put your camera away, seriously.
Since that plate broke, he's gotten a bit shy... Does that plate have any meaning anyway?
[Ebina is telling his story to the Yorozuya crew.]
It was tough... Humans feel their existence when they're surrounded by other people. If I hadn't found a place to live, I'd surely be dead by now. That's until I found her...
[Flashback: Ebina comes out of the lake and sees a pink-haired girl sitting alone by the lake.]
She was always sitting there, doing nothing, just staring at the lake the whole time. I first stayed in hiding, but then I noticed I was just being foolish. [in the flashback] Hey you, what are you doing there? [narrating] The girl seemed a bit surprised when she saw me, but...
It's boring to stay alone at home, so I thought it would be better if I came here, even by myself. We're both like that, right?
[flashback.]
You're a lucky man, mister.
Why?
Because you live free in that beautiful lake. I've been ill since childhood, so I could never get into the lake. I wish I could swim freely in there at least once... In that transparent world...
You body... Can't you heal it?
It's impossible. It'll always be like this.
Idiot. Don't lose confidence on yourself. I'll protect you until your body's fixed, then everything will be alright. So, get well soon.
I see. It's a promise, mister.
[dressed as a kappa, she is stopping a bulldozer] I am the kappa, Saburo! Give me some cucumbers, mister!
What the hell is that Nojima guy doing? Hey, what's wrong? Did you hurt your balls or something?
[a noise comes from behind him. He sees Shinpachi, also in a kappa costume, holding a stick above his head.]
Jiro, the kappa, appears!!!
[the worker yells in terror.]
What's with all the screaming there? Did you guys hurt your balls or something?
[Gintoki, also in a kappa outfit, is holding the landplot owner in submission, grabbing his groin with one of his hands.]
Wh-who the hell are...?
The eldest of three kappa brothers caught by Ezu in Lake Toya, Taro Kappa! Leave the property immediately, or we kappa will haunt... [squeezes the owner's crotch harder]
P-p-please forgive me! What does a kappa like? Cucumbers? Tell me what you want! I don't have any hair, but I have money!
Something I like?... Okay. [squeezes even harder, making the owner pass out.] Sweet things and crazy people.
[spotting a yellow Earth fish.] Huh? So there's such a pretty fish living in this lake. [chuckles] Looks like it's having fun swimming.
Gin-san, shouldn't we buy an air conditioner? It's too hot for just one fan.
Don't say such stupid things. Where the hell would you find one? If you have the time to think of air conditioning, why don't you go and do some mind conditioning?
If you think about it, South Pole may become like North Pole if you adapt your mind.
Gin-san, the fact that it's the "South" Pole doesn't mean it's always summer there.
I know that, okay? South Pole may not be a paradise! What I mean is that they say you'll feel cold as long as you think it's cold! ...That really doesn't work.
That's embarrassing. I think you're contradicting yourself to cover up your mistake. Ridiculous.
[taking the electric fan from Kagura] Besides, you try stepping out in a day like this! [Kagura takes it back] We'll pass out before we have a chance to buy an air conditioner! [they start fighting for the fan] We're better off staying home and slacking off!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
