Jay Arondekar quotes from Ghosts

Jay

Speak of the devil, here he is now!

Jay

You're not even listening to me.

Samantha

Babe, you're not listening to me.

Jay

I just have one ask....Can I shoot the flaming arrow?

Samantha

I married a nine-year-old.

Thorfinn

I like small man, he is fun!

Pete

Are we having a dinner party?

Samantha

I was sort of hoping maybe you guys would just give us some space.

Jay

Uh, yes, sir, Pete, you gots to go. No ghosts allowed. But we love dinner parties.

Pete

The smells, the fashions, the banter. But sure, there's other stuff we can do.

Samantha

Yeah, is that okay?

Pete

Yeah. There's a spider in the attic that's spinning some pretty interesting stuff.

Alberta

We hate Halloween.

Jay

What did they say?

Samantha

They don't like it.

Jay

OK, that feels off brand.

Trevor

All Hallows Eve mocks us and belittles our very existence.

Pete

People putting sheets over their heads & pretending to be ghosts. I mean, what is that?

Jay

Come on! Guys, we're not doing this. This is not the new system!

Sasappis

I really wanted to smell some pepperoni.

Trevor

There's no way I'm writing pepperoni.

Jay

Seriously, this is super creepy! Are you guys still in here? Please leave.

Thorfinn

Sweet little baby, drift off to sleep. Dream of stabbing Danish men, laughing while they weep.

Hetty

No, it's creepy at this age.

Thorfinn

Thor feel it, too.

Samantha

Very weird.

Jay

Yeah.

Hetty

Careful, you cad. Those sconces are made of pure leaded crystal. They are worth more than Oklahoma.

Jay

Okay, yep. Easy-peasy...

Samantha

Jay! Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?

Flower

What's going on?

Samantha

I think Jay electrocuted himself.

Isaac

Oh, he's fine. Ben Franklin used to do the same thing all the time for attention. More like Needy Richard's Almanack, am I right?

Jay

You wanna hang out and watch the game?

Mark

I'm supposed to help my wife with TurboTax today so...hell yeah, let's do this!

Jay

You clean the gunk out of the kitchen sink, and I will get the extra blankets out of the attic.

Samantha

Why--why do I have to clean the gunk?

Jay

Because I pried that watch off of your ancestor's rotting corpse.

Samantha

Fine. But you get to use that, like, two more times.

Jay

Do you think we can climb out that window? Or should we just jump?

Samantha

Can't we just go down the stairs and walk out the front door?

Jay

OK. Take my hand, close your eyes, and whatever you do, don't touch anything

Samantha

[talking to the ghosts] So you're saying we should threaten Carol to get the wedding here?

Jay

These silences, man, things escalate very quickly in these silences.

Samantha

Then let's report a triple homicide.

Jay

OK, I'm gonna need some more frequent updates.

Samantha

The library is empty!

Jay

I can't see ghosts. I don't know why I went in there!

Jay

Oh, my god. Is this wedding over yet?

Samantha

One second, Jay.

Jay

I'm tired and my hands hurt.

Samantha

Yeah, sorry I couldn't find that second shovel, Jay.

Alberta

You threw it behind the shed, Sam.