Elias quotes from Ghosts

Elias

I can't believe I didn't ascend into heaven. I paid the church! There was a contract!

Elias

Oh, you know hell. Lots of, uh, paperwork.

Elias

Trust me, he does not want to start on the ground floor. I mean for one, that floor is made of snakes.

Elias

I'll need you all to reintroduce yourselves. Last time, I wasn't listening, because I didn't care. But that was the old Elias. The new Elias sees you all as equals. Even the women.

Isaac

Well, that is some growth.

Samantha

You can send emails?

Elias

Yes, hell is mostly emails. And Zooms that should have been emails.

Elias

Let's see, what else am I sorry for? I lost your family china in a poker game, then blamed it on the valet.

Hetty

That's where that went? Gerald went to prison.

Elias

And I'm truly sorry.

Hetty

OK, I suppose that's not an unforgiveable act.

Elias

Oh! Once I partook in all of your cocaine and replaced it with wig powder.

Hetty

YOU'RE A MONSTER!

Alberta

Danes are people too, Thor.

Elias

She's not wrong... In the eyes of hell, all nationalities are seen as equal. I was surprised, too!