Hetty Woodstone quotes from Ghosts

Hetty

You cannot deny that those are stableboy cheekbones.

Hetty

Do not deny us our butler! Not when the dream of the perpetual Hot Pocket is finally within reach!

Hetty

Ooh, here we go.

Thorfinn

Sweet little baby, drift off to sleep. Dream of stabbing Danish men, laughing while they weep.

Hetty

No, it's creepy at this age.

Thorfinn

Thor feel it, too.

Samantha

Very weird.

Jay

Yeah.

Hetty

Careful, you cad. Those sconces are made of pure leaded crystal. They are worth more than Oklahoma.

Jay

Okay, yep. Easy-peasy...

Samantha

Jay! Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?

Flower

What's going on?

Samantha

I think Jay electrocuted himself.

Isaac

Oh, he's fine. Ben Franklin used to do the same thing all the time for attention. More like Needy Richard's Almanack, am I right?

Hetty

No way. You are aware that your luggage is language by the front door.

Samantha

I know. It's just been a long day. I'll deal with it tomorrow. Sorry, Hetty just came back.

Hetty

No choice, of course.

Trevor

Is he literally twirling his mustache?

Hetty

That can't be good.

Isaac

What people should be talking about is Isaac & Hetty.

Hetty

I might be in use.

Isaac

Stephanie, you're awake.

Stephanie

Hey, losers.

Hetty

What a lovely surprise. Although isn't it a little early for you to be up? It's only April.

Pete

Right, as a teen ghost, you usually sleep for months on end.

Stephanie

I know. Some dumb living woke me up.

Hetty

You should take it down.

Stephanie

No, that's my poster.

Hetty

Take it down.

Stephanie

That's my special new poster.

Hetty

Take it down!

No!

What happened with the washing machine?

Hetty

No one knows, Peter, it's simply one of the magical mysteries of the universe.

Samantha

I dropped an earring earlier, and I need help looking for it.

Hetty

But all your jewelry is so cheap, why even bother?

Hetty

You should've thought of that before you traded your soul to save some snot-nosed urchin.

Isaac

She never was much of a little kid person.

Hetty

Well, that's nonsense, I employed hundreds of them.

Elias

Let's see, what else am I sorry for? I lost your family china in a poker game, then blamed it on the valet.

Hetty

That's where that went? Gerald went to prison.

Elias

And I'm truly sorry.

Hetty

OK, I suppose that's not an unforgiveable act.

Elias

Oh! Once I partook in all of your cocaine and replaced it with wig powder.

Hetty

YOU'RE A MONSTER!

Samantha

Has anyone ever talked to the basement ghosts about what they saw that night?

Hetty

I'll be honest, I didn't know until very recently that they could speak.