[to Simon] I'm so proud of you. We're going to split a half-pint of lager and watch Cinemax all night.
S1Kidnapped!
Xander Crews, I demand a ransom of twelve billion dollars...
Oh, terrific.
...for you.
[Two X-tacles drop down, guns pointed at Killface]
XTX-tacle #1
He's not paying you a dime, Killface.
Yeah!
[Third X-tacle drops down and points gun at Xander]
XTX-tacle #3
Cause dead men don't pay ransom.
No!
I'm going to start freaking out now
Grace!
WWaiter
Mi amor!
Lovely newslady!
This is Grace Ryan, Force 10 News, dangling helplessly from high atop the Annihilatrix, my microphone now literally a lifeline, because if I fall, I will drop into...what appear to be drums full of super-intelligent radioactive-waste-covered ants.
[whispering] Oh God, please fall.
S1Emergency Room
...Oh my God she fell...
...awesome
Fetch the minivan. We're off to murder that wretch Xander Crews.
Don't you dare hurt him!
SSinn
Sire, Phil has cancer.
First of all, he's obviously not that into you.
[Grace gasps]
Phil, given your strict forcemeats-and-cheese regimen, the only real surprise is you're not dead already.
PPhil
Phil, grappling with the cold reality of death, has no pithy rejoinder.
Oh my God, Xander, where are you?
Well, wherever he is, I'm sure he's laughing his fat face off.
[Aboard the Xcalibur, Xander is tied to a chair getting punched by the Xtacles]
XTX-tacle #1
Who's laughing now, Crews?
I wasn't laughing before. [Punch]]
XTX-tacle #2
I'm gonna punch him so friggin' hard.
XTX-tacle #3
I'm gonna smash his face in!
XTX-tacle #4
I'm gonna blow him. [Everybody looks at him] UP! Wh... [Walks off] Queers!
What the hell do you want?
XTX-tacles
[trading punches and demands] We want a living wage! And some health insurance! And some flex hours, bitch!
XTX-tacle
So you want it in the face or...?
No, not my handsome face!
XTX-tacle
Aw, just kidding, you don't get to pick.
XTX-tacle
See you in hell dick.
S1Meet Antagone
Great! The one person in the world I want to kidnap, and now he's missing!
[After Simon has broken yet another cereal bowl]
I mean it's every morning.
[Appearing from nowhere] Yeah, you gotta establish some boundaries.
[Pause]
[Coldly] Eager to know why you're here.
XTX-tacle #1
If he is Awesome X, that means he's been lying to us all these years.
XTX-tacle #2
Yeah, which is...actually pretty uncool.
[sitar Music Plays]
PPhil
Ohn-Naa. Ohn-Naa.
No no no no! Stop that! Stop that Mantra!
PPhil
Oh Hi, and a blessed day to you.
[annoyed] mm?
PPhil
[Optimistic] Mm!
mm?
PPhil
Mm! Ohn-Naa.
[Killface shoots through Phil's Speakers, ending the Sitar Music]
Get the hell out of Here!
PPhil
Mm, I can't. Lorraine kicked me out when she found out I had cancer.
That fat slag!
PPhil
Enh!
Surely this town has a Y, Philip?
PPhil
No, I'm getting a pretty nice Healing Vibe here. Good for my Chakra.
No, No, Cancer's a bad influence on Simon! Worse than Sinn and that Prawn and...whatever happend to Val?
[The eyes of Mrs Killface's Portrait slide back, revealing Valerie's eyes, looking shifty; the original eyes are replaced.]
Anyway, get your candles and your, white cells or whatever and just pop on down to the Y, hm?
PPhil
Ohmmmmy lawyers say the Annihilatrix caused my cancer.
What lawyers?
PPhil
It's all here in the lawsuit.
My God, the stones on you.
For Tense Forth News, I'm Grant Runyon.
No, that time you said "Grant Runyon."
God, what is wrong with me?
Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
[the camera is sticking out of his chest] Maybe you should shove your skinny arm up my a-hole and change out this tape!
When I get back from the bowl store, I want this apartment to be a crab-and-cancer-free zone.
SSinn
Arthur can't be moved. I think his ribs are all smashed up inside.
Well my foot hurts, so we're even
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frisky Dingo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.