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Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends quotes

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Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

KKip

Not so fast, Deo! You're not going anywhere! I created you! I OWN you!

No, Kip. You didn't create me. Mac, my favorite best friend, created me. For I am Blooregard Q. Kazoo, imaginary friend. Not some flashy marketing campaign designed to get people to buy a shoddy deodorant product that doesn't seem to work. [audience gasps] That's wright, audience. Deo Brand Deodorant doesn't really make people smell all things better.

[Family, dog, and cat gasp, Chris throws his Deo Brand Deodorant and another scene where an old woman faints]

KKip

You think I care that people know my product stinks? You think I care how PEOPLE stink? I DON'T care! [audience gasps] In fact, Deo Brand Deodorant makes people smell all things so WORSE!

AAudience

NOOO!

P1Police Officer #1

That's it, pal. We're taking you downtown.

P2Police Officer #2

You're spending the rest of your life rotting in prison.

KKip

Arresting me? For what?!

P1Police Officer #1

Article 254, Section 3: False Advertising.

KKip

NOOOOO!!!!!!

Look. I saw you doing extra school work during recess.

Bloo, I wasn't doing extra school work. I was in detention.

Detention? For what?

Blowing spit wads.

[During the credits]

Today's story was about how you should really accept your friends for who they are. Don't try to change them, just 'cause you think they should be different. Especially if it's going to end up blowing up in your face and get you adopted off to a bunch of little kids. Always ask yourself, "How's this gonna affect me?" Learn from my mistake and accept your nerdy friend for who he is.

BBBig Beaver

Why are you telling me this?

Sounds to me like someone's jealous!

Not jealous, journalist. [Mac rolls his eyes] I heard that!

So, do we need to get our awesome jet cars for now?

[sarcastically] Oh yes, they're in the mail.

Yes!

Um, Bloo. I think he was being sarcastic.

Oh. But who cares? We're getting jet cars! Jet cars, dude!

No, see, he was just saying that because it isn't true.

So he was lying?

No, he was using sarcasm. He said the opposite to make it funny! Ha ha!

That wasn't funny. Knock-knock jokes. Knock-knock jokes are funny.

[sarcastically] Yeah. Knock-knock jokes are hilarious.

That's what I'm saying.

No, I was being sarcastic.

Stop it. That isn't a serious dare.

Frankie, explain sarcasm to Bloo.

What? You don't understand sarcasm?

No.

But you use it the rest of the other time.

Right. I use it for the rest of the other time.

See? You just used it.

I did? Sure I did, Frankie.

You're totally trying to mess with us, aren't you?

Sorry, but teenage boys come up with the grossest imaginary friends. I mean, they are seriously disgusting.

UEUrinal Extremeosaur

I know you are, but what am I?

And mature.

I'm counting on it.

I'm telling Mom!

[after Terrence gets electrocuted and peed his pants] Who's a scaredy baby for now?

[Terrence runs away]

[on a camping trip, Wilt is stuck in quicksand as a bear has just shown up]

Run for your lives, boys! I'll stave him off!

What about Wilt?

Don't worry Mac. I'll probably sink before the bear gets me.

Enough! If you're not an imaginary friend, I want you out! That means you, and you, and you… and you! [points to Goofball] That's right, Goofball. I'm not washing anymore of your high school football jerseys! I'm not helping you with any more of your math homework, and I'm not buying any more groceries to feed your "growing boy appetite"! Because you are not an imaginary friend!

Well, Goofball, I hate to say it, and I mean I really hate to say it, but I was wrong about you.

[groans] Duchess, we go through the same routine every day. We wait on you hand and foot and all you do is insult us.

Why, I am deeply hurt that you did suggest one thing. That is simply not true. Now, are you going to call Senior Smells-a-Lot to carry me to the bathroom, or do I need to do it myself?

[sighs] Eduardo!

[Eduardo carries Duchess to the bathroom where Wilt is gargling his mouth with mouthwash, he finishes up by spitting it into a cup]

[mouthwashes her mouth and spits it over Eduardo's face; to Wilt] You call this pre-gargled?! It's barely starting to foam! [to Eduardo] Oh, to clarify, I was spitting in anger, not spitting out the mouthwash like normal.

DFDuchess' Family

If we adopt you, will you promise and behave?

If you adopt me, will you promise and be ugly?

She's gone. She's really gone!

I've dreamed of this day for so very long!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.