Can I please have a look at the lyrics? [Looks at notepad] This is another one of your weird songs, man.
What's that about 'Sometimes I put a wig on you when we're on tour'?
Put a wig on you? No. It didn't say anything like that.
That's definitely a bit gay.
Putting a wig on me while I'm asleep.
I think, sometimes you hear what you wanna hear. It wouldn't be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they're a woman. How could that be gay if you're pretending they're a woman? Not that I did it.
So he wouldn't serve us basically just because we're from New Zealand.
Well, you guys are in America now, and there's a lot of prejudism here. Especially towards people like you.
What do you mean, people like us?
You know, the English and what not, red coats, the oppressors...
Be that as it may Jemaine, you're pretty much the most disliked race in this whole country.
Dave They don't like you either. Neither do the Chinese, the Asians, Polish, Russian, Croatians, even the Indians.
Yeah, but Dave, you're Indian. D'you hate us?
But you're our best friend.
It doesn't matter what country someone's from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn't matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently...some would say, more correctly.
Let me finish. I'm a person. Bret's a person. You're a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.
SSinjay
That's a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.
No you're thinking of Australians.
SSinjay
No, no, no, New Zealanders. You throw another shrimp on the barbie and ride around on your kangaroos all day.
No, no, no, that's Australians.
You're thinking of Australians. That's not us.
SSinjay
[Aghast] I've totally confused you with Australians? I - I feel terrible. Your accents sound similar.
No, no, our accents are completely different, they're like [high-pitched] "where's the car" and we're like [normal voice] "Where's the car."
SSinjay
You know what? Here, have some of my fruit, please, I feel terrible. [to Bret] You want that Red Delicious still?
Oh, I would love that Red Delicious, yeah.
SSinjay
[to Jemaine] You still want that banana?
Thank you, I would love that banana.
SSinjay
[handing him a red apple] This Red Delicious is on me.
Are you and Lisa gonna get married now?
I wish, but I don't know. She's got to go to war.
Yes, she's in Delta Force. She's been deployed to Fallujah.
But she works in the croissant shop.
Yeah well, she's got two jobs. She's a pastry chef and a sniper.
Okay, band meeting. Murray, present. Bret, present. Jemaine, present. Alright, I haven't got time for your time-wasting. I have good news, I have booked our biggest tour ever.
Well, it wouldn't have to be that big to be our biggest tour ever.
You don't even know anything about threesomes.
Have you ever had a threesome?
What do you mean, nearly?
Great. I've done it several times, man.
Just one of you here... and then one.. Oh well then, I've had a twosome!
I think you've gotta use honesty here. I mean, you know, it's always the best policy. Like the other day there was five, well, maybe there was like four really hot foreign chicks- either like Swedish or Korean- in my shop, and they were like 'Dave, we wanna have a five way with you.' I just told them, 'honestly, okay.' Then I gave it to 'em. Hard. And then they were like, "Dave we want to marry you." But I was like "I don't know how they do things where you guys are from, but I don't think monogamy is legal in this country."
Okay, I'm just going to say, "Dear Todd, thank you very much, but you can't be in the band anymore."
Umm. I don't think you should do it, man. You're too easily offended.
I can't believe you just said that.
Women love weaving, they love to weave.
No, weaving is a man's game.
Bret, you put a woman in front of weaving machine and just watch her go.
No, honestly, my Dad weaves, my grandfather was a weaver... I come from a family of weavers.
I've never seen a man weave.
I love weaving. I'm weaving at the moment, making a pair of trousers.
