5th most-quoted character in Flight of the Conchords: in 4 of its 53 quotes
Most scenes with: Jemaine (3), Bret (2)
Lines by Dave 1
Dave
I think you've gotta use honesty here. I mean, you know, it's always the best policy. Like the other day there was five, well, maybe there was like four really hot foreign chicks- either like Swedish or Korean- in my shop, and they were like 'Dave, we wanna have a five way with you.' I just told them, 'honestly, okay.' Then I gave it to 'em. Hard. And then they were like, "Dave we want to marry you." But I was like "I don't know how they do things where you guys are from, but I don't think monogamy is legal in this country."
Scenes with Dave 3
So he wouldn't serve us basically just because we're from New Zealand.
Dave
Well, you guys are in America now, and there's a lot of prejudism here. Especially towards people like you.
What do you mean, people like us?
Dave
You know, the English and what not, red coats, the oppressors...
Dave
Be that as it may Jemaine, you're pretty much the most disliked race in this whole country.
Dave They don't like you either. Neither do the Chinese, the Asians, Polish, Russian, Croatians, even the Indians.
Yeah, but Dave, you're Indian. D'you hate us?
Dave
Yeah, sometimes.
But you're our best friend.
Dave
I know.
Dave
Okay, they're gone.
Dave
Yeah, don't worry about it, guys. I just think it's really cool that you love each other, even though you're from Austria and you're from some place no one's even fucking heard of.
Dave
Exactly. Because it shouldn't matter where you're from when love's involved. It's like that movie "Interracial Hole Stretchers 2" — she was white; they were black. But it didn't matter in the end, did it? Because they were in love.
I haven't... I haven't seen that one.
Dave
Well, it really affected me.
Dave
No!
Well, no. Not really a girlfriend. She doesn't know I exist.
Dave
But you do, you do exist, don't you? [pokes Bret]
Dave
'Cause you guys said you didn't exist before.
Dave
Why did you tell me you were from Never Neverland?
Dave
But you said you guys flew here!
On a plane. On a plane, Dave.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Flight of the Conchords pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Flight of the Conchords · 53 quotes
