Fireman Sam Season 1 quotes

And now for the grand opening!

It is with great honor and privilege, that I, the esteemed Chief Fire Officer Boyce now declare Pontypandy's new fire station open! [he snips the yellow ribbon open and civilians cheering once again] Thank you everyone! Now, help yourself to Bronwyn's fine buffet, while I show the firefighter friends their new home! [he now takes his colleagues inside while civilians began feasting] As you can see, you can now park all your fire vehicles in the station.

Oh look! Mercury's inside now!

There's even room for two more.

Well, you never know you might want to expand.

Oh look! The station doesn't only have one pole, it has two! We can slide down at the same time! Penny!

Two poles seems a bit nice for us just four.

Ah-ha! That's because I have a very special surprise lined up for you! Firefighter Arnold McKinley... [A male firefighter slides down the left hand pole and salutes] ...and Firefighter Ellie Philips! [A female firefighter slides down the right hand pole and smiles] New members of the Pontypandy Fire Service! They just finished their training at the Newtown Academy, and they didn't top off their class.

Excellent!

Wow! A 4 wheel drive, longitudinal front engine, six cylinder, high compression turbo diesel! I can't wait to get behind the wheel of that!

I don't understand a word he just said, Sam.

He's talking about Jupiter, Elvis.

I am looking forward to learning for the best-- Fireman Sam! [he handshakes with Sam]

Why, thank you, Arnold.

Teacher's pet.

Now for the rest of the tour. [The gang went outside.] Oh, ha ha. With these additional fire hydrants, you'll be able to fill up Jupiter and Venus like never before, and you can use them while you're training at the training tower! There's even one for sticky foam.

Oh, I love sticky foam. [Elvis switches on the hydrant and water splashes all over him, not sticky foam. Then Sam switches the water off.] Phew!

Don't worry, Elvis. It will all take a bit of getting used to.

Now onto the control room. [The gang went to the control room.]

Cridlington, will you please stop squelching?

I'm sorry, sir. I can't help it, I got my pants all wet.

This is our all-new computerized control system. Watch this.

Pontypandy. Overview.

Who said that?!

It was the screen, Cridlington.

Oh, now we can't get to Auntie Phillys'! We'll have to go home.

We'll see about that. If only I could find my torch. We can walk to Auntie Phillys' from here.

What--[He stammers.]

Well, that's not it.

Mom?

Just a minute, Norman. Oh...! I wonder where that have gone!

Mom...! It's a flying saucer!

No it's not! It's an old picnic basket! Oh! Still got a cheese sandwich in it! Ohh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hello, little flying saucer! [The UFO leaves as Norman began to chase after it.] No! No, don't go! Come back! [Norman trips over the cobblestone bridge and fell into the river.]

I found it, Norman! Norman? Norman! [Dilys spots Norman in the river.]

Call Fireman Sam!

The alien has landed.

Buck Douglas is gonna love this!

We'll definitely be official Buck Douglas space spotters now!

I don't think we will.

BUCK DOUGLAS!?!!!???

He's off the telly!

But if Buck Douglas is the little green man, who is--, I mean--, what if he--, but he--, if he's on the-- Right, I don't understand.

Buck Douglas has been camping out in the woods and faking all the alien sightings in Pontypandy, Elvis.

He's been flying drones around to look like spaceships, just like Joe and Bella's pizza delivery ones! They used to say "batteries", that's how I worked it out. HE'S JUST A BIG LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He must've been doing that all over the country.

AND he's been getting us to buy his STUPID book so he look at all the right places...

...which is why he gets sightings of aliens from his show...

...and more people watching it.

Well done, Norman. You've found the truth.

Well, I knew it was out there somewhere, Sam.

Is there anything you like to say to the people of Pontypandy, Mr. Douglas?!

This is so... not spacetastic. [He puts his hand to his face.]

You can say that again.

We don't need to be official "Buck Douglas" space spotters! I'm going to start my own show: "Norman Price, Alien Finder"!

Ha-ha-ha! Come on everyone! Let's get back to Pontypandy.

I'll have my own coat, my own hat, a special alien scanner, and my own book about how you really find aliens, not made-up ones, real alien! [Norman Price continues talking as his voice trails and camera pans up to end the movie]

I can't believe what I'm seeing! That guy is amazing! He's incredible! I want that guy for my next movie! Get me Firefighter Sam!

And now for our big turkey of the week, It's Flex Dexter's waste of screen time: Hard Drive! It gets five rotten eggs from us, and we have to ask you, Flex. "What happened, big guy? You used to be a superstar!"

I will tell you what happened-- Nothing! No, I mean, uh... I'm still a superstar! And I'll show you. I'll show all of you! My next movie will be huge. HUGE! [Flex picks up the phone and calls somebody] Um yes, hello... Uh... I like to order a new TV, please. [chuckles] I just broke a little.

[on the phone] Cheerio, Mr. Sledgehammer!

So, Flex, I want you in my next movie; "Firefighter Sam's Flaming Inferno"!

Awesome! And I'll be playing Firefighter Sam?

Don't be crazy, Flex. Whatever every action movie needs is a real action hero! I see you as uh... you know... more of a co-star on this one.

Huh? A co-star?

Yes. You'll be... uh... [points to Elvis Cridlington on the TV screen] that guy there!

Oh... th-- the guy with the flappy-floppy shovel-y thing?

Yes, that guy. I'll get my people to call your people!

Okay. I'll be the co-star for now. But an action movie set can be a dangerous place.

And now, for something really exciting: Pontypandy Planet Online have an exclusive; the unveiling of the new Hollywood Jupiter!

Behold, the Jupiter 2000! [Jupiter 2000's new siren blares as it drives out of the garage and then idles and Flex Dexter looks to the right.]

Not only does he have bigger and brighter lights... [Jupiter 2000 blows its horn and blares its siren and Mike Flood covers his ears] He's got a really loud siren!

He's got crown-plated exhaust pipes and a stunning flame decal.

And just wait till you see what he's got in his trailer!

All the gizmos and gadgets and epic action movie firefighting hero could wish for.

We have the supercharged mega cutting Jaws of Life...! [The jaws of life rapidly cuts due to Mike Flood's shaking.]

Oh, wow!

Oh, snappy.

And we got these thermal dynamic laser guided heat sensing goggles. [Joe hits the phone's camera.]

And we got a really big axe.

That one is-a really disappointing.

But just wait till you see this.

I feel the need...

The need for speed!

Heat seeks, Flex!

Yippee-ka-yay...!

You've seen it here first; The Jupiter 2000 is rocket-powered!

Uh... should it be doing that? The winch is wobbling.

[To the winch in horror] The winch!

My camera!

My bus!

Oh no... oh... but I've only just polished her.

I'll call for help.

Hey! I already did it, hero!

I thought you're *pants* doing the safety check, Sam.

I... don't understand what happened.

It looks to me like the hero next door isn't such a hero after all. You've failed the simple safety check in endangered lives.

But I DID check it.

I've nearly got run over by a bus because of YOU!!!! You're going to PAY for this!!!! I'M GONNA SEE TO IT THAT YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!!!!

I'm sorry, Fireman Sam, but Mr. Sledgehammer has informed me - that due to an incident that happened yesterday, you can no longer be the star of his motion picture. Mr. Dexter will be taking over as the main firefighter.

To be honest, sir - that's a relief.

Yes... however, I am the bearer of much more severe news. [Penny, Elvis, Arnold and Ellie hears Sam and Boyce's sacking conversation in horror] Pontypandy is renowned for its firefighters. We cannot have it known that on of our most respective firefighters - failed the simplest of safety checks.

Er... I understand, sir. I can't be a firefighter until this is investigated further.

No, Sam. You can't be a firefighter... at all.

But - Sir!

I'm sorry, Fireman Sam. This is something I never thought I would have to do. But a decision has been made.

Great tangled hoses!

So - I had a big rewrite down on the movie. Your character; Firefighter Tom, is now the hero. We've had all the Firefighter Sam parts taken out and they changed the title.

"Firefighter Tom: Blaze and Glory".

Yes. Learn your new lines and we'll see you on set tomorrow, superstar!

I'd like to accept the award on behalf on firefighters everywhere. And I like to... give Fireman Sam a special thank you, for getting fired! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Just so you know, the whole thing was mostly my idea. And it was me that got Fireman Sam to do the movie in the first place.

A mysterious hero surveys the city below... out there... somewhere... someone needs rescuing!

Norman? You got a hole in your underpants!

Oh, they're not underpants! [Norman leaps off the cobblestone fence] They're Norman-Man pants, actually James-- Ack, I mean, Atomic Boy!

Just come on, Norman-Man! Let's finish our patrol!

Ah-- Professor Polonium. Welcome back to Pontypandy.

You're under arrest for... for...

...pretty much everything!

Oh, I hate Pontypandy.

That's the last fire out, sir! We've done it!

Roger that, Ellie! Well done, team!

Oof... This is all your fault, Crumpton!

Do you think we can send out a strawberry supreme?!

Urrgh... If you ever mention strawberry supremes again...

Okay, okay! Oh, how about a raspberry tingle?!

CRUMPTON!!!!!!!!!!

Mountain Rescue, good day.

Tom, we're gonna need your help.