Flex Dexter quotes from Fireman Sam

And now for our big turkey of the week, It's Flex Dexter's waste of screen time: Hard Drive! It gets five rotten eggs from us, and we have to ask you, Flex. "What happened, big guy? You used to be a superstar!"

I will tell you what happened-- Nothing! No, I mean, uh... I'm still a superstar! And I'll show you. I'll show all of you! My next movie will be huge. HUGE! [Flex picks up the phone and calls somebody] Um yes, hello... Uh... I like to order a new TV, please. [chuckles] I just broke a little.

[on the phone] Cheerio, Mr. Sledgehammer!

So, Flex, I want you in my next movie; "Firefighter Sam's Flaming Inferno"!

Awesome! And I'll be playing Firefighter Sam?

Don't be crazy, Flex. Whatever every action movie needs is a real action hero! I see you as uh... you know... more of a co-star on this one.

Huh? A co-star?

Yes. You'll be... uh... [points to Elvis Cridlington on the TV screen] that guy there!

Oh... th-- the guy with the flappy-floppy shovel-y thing?

Yes, that guy. I'll get my people to call your people!

Okay. I'll be the co-star for now. But an action movie set can be a dangerous place.

And now, for something really exciting: Pontypandy Planet Online have an exclusive; the unveiling of the new Hollywood Jupiter!

Behold, the Jupiter 2000! [Jupiter 2000's new siren blares as it drives out of the garage and then idles and Flex Dexter looks to the right.]

Not only does he have bigger and brighter lights... [Jupiter 2000 blows its horn and blares its siren and Mike Flood covers his ears] He's got a really loud siren!

He's got crown-plated exhaust pipes and a stunning flame decal.

And just wait till you see what he's got in his trailer!

All the gizmos and gadgets and epic action movie firefighting hero could wish for.

We have the supercharged mega cutting Jaws of Life...! [The jaws of life rapidly cuts due to Mike Flood's shaking.]

Oh, wow!

Oh, snappy.

And we got these thermal dynamic laser guided heat sensing goggles. [Joe hits the phone's camera.]

And we got a really big axe.

That one is-a really disappointing.

But just wait till you see this.

I feel the need...

The need for speed!

Heat seeks, Flex!

Yippee-ka-yay...!

You've seen it here first; The Jupiter 2000 is rocket-powered!

Uh... should it be doing that? The winch is wobbling.

[To the winch in horror] The winch!

My camera!

My bus!

Oh no... oh... but I've only just polished her.

I'll call for help.

Hey! I already did it, hero!

I thought you're *pants* doing the safety check, Sam.

I... don't understand what happened.

It looks to me like the hero next door isn't such a hero after all. You've failed the simple safety check in endangered lives.

But I DID check it.

I've nearly got run over by a bus because of YOU!!!! You're going to PAY for this!!!! I'M GONNA SEE TO IT THAT YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!!!!

So - I had a big rewrite down on the movie. Your character; Firefighter Tom, is now the hero. We've had all the Firefighter Sam parts taken out and they changed the title.

"Firefighter Tom: Blaze and Glory".

Yes. Learn your new lines and we'll see you on set tomorrow, superstar!

I'd like to accept the award on behalf on firefighters everywhere. And I like to... give Fireman Sam a special thank you, for getting fired! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!