Elvis Cridlington quotes from Fireman Sam

In a field above Pontypandy, on a rather hot day, Sarah and James are picking potatoes for Bella Lasagne.

Oh, it's hard work this.

Girls girls girls, moan moan moan. Come on, let's just get the job done.

Just 'cause you know Bella will give you some ice cream, greedy. Listen! It's Uncle Sam. [Races to the gate]

And Jupiter. [Puts the rake down and walks to the gate]

Well, sir, a day and a half this has been. It's the weather I suppose.

That's right, Fireman Sam. A blazing hot weather means lots of fires, eh, Cridlington?

Eh, oh, yeah, uh blazes, a blaze in hot weather too, right man, um, sir.

Who's in that field over there, Sam?

Oh, that's Sarah and James. [Stops Jupiter right next to the field to talk to Sarah and James] What are you doing in Bella's potato patch?

Picking potatoes.

For tomorrow's chips. It's hard, mind. My back aches.

Does it now? Well let's have a think. Yes, good idea that. Helping Bella. Carry on the good work. [Drives off]

Bye, Uncle Sam.

Bye, Uncle Sam.

It's all go at Pontypandy Fire Station this morning.

Drill day today, eh, Cridlington?

Now one cup of marge to two cup, two cups... [Sees Station Officer Steele] Oh, brill brill. I mean, a drill, uh, Station Officer Steele, sir, but I am making lunch, sir.

Oh, well. Not to worry, Trevor Evans is here today on his part-time fireman course. What is that, by the way.

Well, um, instant mashed potatoes, sir, it's full of fibre, you know. It's very easy to make.

Yes, well the last time you said that, we had to buy a new stove.

Oh.

Quick burst of the assembly bell. [Presses the bell] Fireman Sam! [Fireman Sam slides down the pole] Fireman Evans, fall in at the double!

[saluting to Station Officer Steele] Reporting for duty sir.

Where's Evans?

Oh. [Slides down the pole] Oooohhh! [Hits the floor]

[clears throat] Today, we shall be doing pump drill from a hydrant using soft suction followed by slip and pitch at Bella's cafe.

[whispering to Sam] Doesn't sound very tasty.

Slip and pitch, Fireman Evans, means using a ladder to rescue someone who is stuck.

Oh. Oh, pardon me, sir.

All present and correct, sir.

Right, Thomas Street, let's go.

Won't be long now, kids. Spanner?

[passes spanner to James] Uh, spanner.

[passes spanner to Sam] Spanner.

Tweaker.

[passes tweaker to James] Tweaker.

[passes tweaker to Sam] Tweaker.

[to Sarah and James] Oh, oh, hello, you two. You playing hospitals?

[laughs] No, Elvis. We're helping Uncle Sam.

He's entering "The Best Inventor in Wales Competition."

Oh. Well, why don't you invent a cooker, that cooks perfect food every time.

We don't need one, Elvis. We got you.

Pardon? Oh, oh, thank you.

Bella

Hamburger and chips, Norman, your favourite.

Oh, thanks. [Picks up his burger and takes a bite] Mmmmm. Hey, Penny, can I have a lick with my burger now? Ha hey! Ha hey! [Licks the ketchup on his wrist]

[to Penny] See, I've tried to bring him up proper, Penny, I don't know where he gets it from. [Puts her finger on some mustard bottle and tastes it]

Well done, everyone, lunch is on the fire service. Um....

Lunch here? But what about my curry?

Yes, uh, well I think it's probably, uh, dried to a frazzle now, Cridlington. Still, can't be helped.

I-I suppose so, sir. [Smiles] Hey, as Bella's so busy, I could give her hand with the cooking. [Leaves the table]

Oh, dear.

Aye, well good try, anyway, sir.

Jupiter is in good order, thank you. Now, the children are on holiday, and you know what that means.

Norman Price getting into trouble.

Not just Norman. It could be any one of Pontypandy's children. So stand by for heads stuck in railings, children stuck up trees and...

[while Penny chuckles] ...Sheep falling off Pontypandy Mountain, sir?

That would be a Mountain Rescue situation.

I think Officer Cridlington was joking, sir.

No he isn't, Penny. We had to rescue Woolly Wonders before now.

Anyway, we have to expect the unexpected and the watchword is "vigilance."

And that means keeping an eye on Norman Price.

A boy is stuck on Pontypandy Mountain with a sheep.

Norman Price!

This cold weather won't make our job any easier, you can't fight fire with ice cubes.

No sir, but this antifreeze should stop the hoses from freezing up.

Quite. Cridlington! [Sees that Elvis isn't listening] Oh, I say!

CRIDLINGTON!

Yes Station Officer Steele sir!

See if you can get that icicle off.

And be careful, the tips very sharp.

Yes sir, it is sir. Gone right through my scarf it has sir!

Great fire of London! Black ice!

phew, saved us you did Sam.

Now to save Dilys and Norman.

London's burning, London's burning, call the engines, call the engines, Fire fire, Fire fire, pour the water.

What's this for Penny, washing the wax out of an elephants ear?

Oh! Great balls of fire!

It's a grease gun, hand it over Elvis, I need to grease the squeaky wheel, It's been driving Sam mad.

Oh, need a hand Sam?

No thank you Elvis [He puts the hard hats in Jupiter, but then notices Elvis' face] Elvis, just look at your face! Are you going on the war path?

No, I had an accident with Penny's grease gun.

Well you better go and get cleaned up. We can't let standards drop just because Station Officer Steele's away!

Clear off you bushy tailed menace!

Hm. Looks like he's gnawed out our kettle flex.

Don't worry, Sam. I'll make you some nice cup of tea.

Let's fix that flex first, Elvis.

There we are Elvis, good as new.

Thanks Penny.

Great Fires of London, there's a fire at the Flood's House!, we'd better get going.

C'mon Elvis, no time for a brew now.

Oh.

You're not shutting already Dilys.

I'm not just shutting, I'm gonna barricade myself in.

I just want to buy some tea Dilys, we've run out up at the fire station.

I'm sorry Elvis, it's those extra territorials, they scared the wits out of Bella and I won't let them do that to me.

Oh right then, I'll tell Sam he can't have his tea 'cuz aliens have invaded Pontypandy.

And if you see my Norman sent him straight home, now then, how am I gonna get back in there?

I'll need a volunteer for this exercise, someone to climb to the roof and pretend to be in trouble.

I'll do it sir, I'll be on that roof before you could say A-womp-bop-a-loo bop A-loop-ba-boom.

Very well officer Cridlington, remember to wear the safety harness just in case, Sam I want you to beat your current time of 2 minutes, 20 seconds, Ready? Go.

Hang on, I'm not ready yet!

Just hold on Dad, everything's gonna be okay.

Thank goodness, here comes Fireman Sam.

Don't worry Mike, we'll have you down in no time.

But Sam, what are we gonna do, the Simon Snorkel isn't working.

Let's try and see how far it will reach [Sam goes up in the Simon Snorkel, but it stops a very inches, Sam tries to reach Mike, but it's no use] I still can't quite get him.

Whoops.

Great Fires of London, the leaver's come unstuck.

Oh dear.

[Singing inside the fire station kitchen] Sticky toffee just like the hood.

Nice song Elvis. Is it one of your own?

Hi Penny, just uh making some uh toffee apples for Bella's little Halloween do tonight, not much of a toffee fan myself of course.

'Course not.

No more of a keep fit kinda guy, like you.

Attention men, Elvis, Penny, where's Sam?

Here sir, ready for what's sure to be a busy night.

I just wanted to have a brief chat with you all about the procedure for Halloween. Elvis Cridlington, what in blazes are you up too?

He's making toffee apples sir, doesn't like 'em himself of course.

Yes well, procedure Halloween, a lot of children, a lot of excitement, but a lot of trouble too. Especially with young Price around.

Don't worry sir. We'll keep an eye on young vampire Price.

There's mischief in the air.

And there's toffee in me hair!