James Jones quotes from Fireman Sam

We've Never Seen A Firefighter Rescued Before!

Dilys Price wants to get mummy's little Norman from under her feet.

I want to watch the telly.

That's all you ever do. You'll have square eyes, my sweet.

Oh, mum.

Now then, off you go to have a lovely play in the park. [Norman picks up an apple] Norman! [Norman hastily puts the apple back and smiles innocently] Scram!

Wheeeeee!

Now then, you hold the kite like so. Keep the string tight arm's length. [Pulls the kite and the string snaps] Oh. Oh, it's snapped. Don't worry, it'll be up in no time. [The kite goes flying off] Oh! Oh, no hang on a minute! [Sarah and James watch their kite fly away] Oh, no! No, come back here! No, come! Come to Trevor!

Oh ho!

It's brill!

Oh!

Mr Evans! Look out!

Oh!

Sorry, Mr Evans!

It's quite alright, Norman.

In a field above Pontypandy, on a rather hot day, Sarah and James are picking potatoes for Bella Lasagne.

Oh, it's hard work this.

Girls girls girls, moan moan moan. Come on, let's just get the job done.

Just 'cause you know Bella will give you some ice cream, greedy. Listen! It's Uncle Sam. [Races to the gate]

And Jupiter. [Puts the rake down and walks to the gate]

Well, sir, a day and a half this has been. It's the weather I suppose.

That's right, Fireman Sam. A blazing hot weather means lots of fires, eh, Cridlington?

Eh, oh, yeah, uh blazes, a blaze in hot weather too, right man, um, sir.

Who's in that field over there, Sam?

Oh, that's Sarah and James. [Stops Jupiter right next to the field to talk to Sarah and James] What are you doing in Bella's potato patch?

Picking potatoes.

For tomorrow's chips. It's hard, mind. My back aches.

Does it now? Well let's have a think. Yes, good idea that. Helping Bella. Carry on the good work. [Drives off]

Bye, Uncle Sam.

Bye, Uncle Sam.

[meows for help, twice]

Oh, poor thing. [to Rosa] Don't worry, Rosa.

We'll think of something.

Oh, good. It's Trevor the Bus.

Mr. Evans, Bella's cat's up that tree. Look!

[meows]

She's stuck! Have you got a ladder?

No. [Thinks for a moment] Now, let's see. I'll climb up, my sugar lumps. I mustn't be long, though. The match starts early today. [Starts climbing the tree]

Oh! Goodness me.

[from the ground off camera] Try that branch! It looks stronger!

You can do it, Mr. Evans!

Oh, well, I-I dunno. Um... [He sticks his right leg above a stronger branch] Now, oh dear. [Grabs the branch that Rosa is sitting on] Oh!

[runs off scared and climbs to a higher branch]

Drat it, cat! [Looks down] Oh, dear. It's a long way down. I don't like heights. I feel a bit dizzy, like. Oh. [The branch he is standing on begins to break] Ooooohh!

Perhaps we'd better phone Uncle Sam.

Oh, help.

Hello, Sarah, James.

What's that, Uncle Sam?

It's my entry form for "The Best Inventor in Wales Competition."

[pointing to a skateboard with a motor on it] Is that your invention then?

Oh, that automatic motorized skateboard? Well, it was, but I haven't quite perfected it yet. Take a look at this though.

I'd like you to meet MOP.

MOP?

Yes. M-O-P. You see. Motorized Organizer and Polisher. Well, everyone hates tidying up, now MOP can do it for you. Look, I'll give you a demonstration.

Mega brill!

Oh, wicked! You're bound to win.

MOP. I love it.

Oh, but not that much! Hey! My lolly!

Shiver me tweakies! [Sam quickly turns MOP off.] Dear me, this one needs perfection too. Thank you, MOP.

You okay, Sarah?

Yes... but what will you do for an invention, Uncle Sam?

Oh, I'll think of something. "Three goes for a Welshman" as they say.

Won't be long now, kids. Spanner?

[passes spanner to James] Uh, spanner.

[passes spanner to Sam] Spanner.

Tweaker.

[passes tweaker to James] Tweaker.

[passes tweaker to Sam] Tweaker.

[to Sarah and James] Oh, oh, hello, you two. You playing hospitals?

[laughs] No, Elvis. We're helping Uncle Sam.

He's entering "The Best Inventor in Wales Competition."

Oh. Well, why don't you invent a cooker, that cooks perfect food every time.

We don't need one, Elvis. We got you.

Pardon? Oh, oh, thank you.

You can't drown in soil, can't you?

Don't say things like that!

There's Ursa Major, the Great Bear and look there's Ursa Minor, the Little Bear, can you see them?

No and I can't see mother bear or Goldilocks either.

Oh well, they don't look much like bears, point the telescope over there Sarah, you should be able to see Venus one of the planets.

Venus? Lemme, Lemme, Lemme!, I wanna see if there are any bug-eyed monsters!

Don't be silly Norman.

There's an alien, it's all hairy and those eyes.

Let me look,[sees Rosa asleep on the wall]Oh it's only Rosa.

Hey what's that!

Must be a shooting star.

No it wasn't Sam, it was an alien spacecraft from the planet Venus.

How'd you know it was a spaceship from Venus?

Well, I'm only guessing it's from Venus, could be from Mars or Saturn.

Could be that you are making the whole thing up Norman Price.

We saw something in the sky last night.

I suppose it could have been a spaceship.

Full of aliens, [Norman gasps] Look! Look! Stop the bus Mr Evans.

What made that then Mr Evans?

Oh there's lots of quite sensible explanations for crop circles, could be caused by a sudden gust of wind or a freak or maybe someone's been camping.

Or this could be where the aliens landed.

Now Norman, that's enough, aliens don't exist.

Mmm, we'll see about that.

Help, I'm stuck, get me out of here!

Well, well, a Martian with ginger hair.

I'm not from Mars, I'm from Venus.

Speaks English very well.

For someone from Venus.

Well don't just stand there, get me out of here.

Just hang on Norman, whoa!, now, now, don't want you getting stuck in a bog as well, hold on to my legs.

Hurry up Mr Evans, my pant's are filling up with Mud.

It's no good I'm sinking, pull me back.

Don't just leave me!

We need help.

You got no chance, not against my prize pet.

Norman, if Station Officer Steele sees that lamb of yours.

He'll make him station mascot straight away.

Great Fires of London! He's gobbled all our geraniums!

[Comes outside and see what's happening] Oh! Get that sheepskin dustbin away from my station!

He only eats when he's nervous, it's the thrill of the competition.

Bet Norman feels sheepish!

By the way, have you seen Mrs. Lasagne's cat anywhere? She thinks her Rosa will make a perfect mascot and--

MRRREEOOWEOWW!!! [Rosa scratches Steele's fingers]

YEEEEOWWW!!! [Steele covers his hurt fingers and sticks them in his mouth, muffling his speech]

Sorry, what did you say?

I said, that's another animal disqualified!

Seems Dusty's got a good chance to be mascot.

Yeah!

Provided he's washed and cleaned.

You mean, Dusty needs a-?

Bath?

Ahhh... now, this is the life. you can't beat relaxing in Pontypandy-- [Dusty smashes on Trevor's belly and escapes] PAAAAA--AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH--AAAARRK!!!!!!!

Trevor, are you all right?

[rubbing his belly] I'm fine. hat happened? Was it a football?

No, actually, a flying dog.

Well, good job that flying dog landed on my tum before I had my corned beef and piccalilli sarnies. Eh? Hang on. Flying dog?

I'm honoured that you have chosen me to be the leader of Pontypandy's First Neighbourhood Watch committee.

That's strange, I don't remember choosing a leader, maybe that was the day we were abducted by aliens.

Or maybe we all bumped our heads and lost our memories.

[Clears Throat] My vision is to make Pontypandy the safest neighbourhood in Wales, we shall all make Pontypandy free from crime and look after each other.

If you ask me it's about time, sweets go missing from the shop everyday [Dilys doesn't notice a hand reaching into a biscuit jar] just last week my liquorice all sorts vanished without a trace.

My firefighters have agreed to join the Neighbourhood Watch scheme, I now call on everyone to do the same.

Great, let's start our very own Neighbourhood Watch scheme.

We'll help people in trouble.

Yes, just like the Pontypandy firefighters, let's tell Uncle Sam, come on.

Well-

Uncle Sam.

We're gonna start our very own Neighbourhood Watch.

Good idea.

Yes indeed, I knew my speech would inspire the young people.

So you don't mind if we use the garden shed at the fire station as our headquarters.

Hmm, very well.

Goodness me, what's all this commotion?

No need to panic Dilys, everything's under control.

We caught this criminal stealing your fruit.

Trevor Evans, what on Earth?

I wasn't stealing the fruit, I was taking it to deliver to Dilys' customers.

Are you all right?

Well I have felt better.

Come inside and I'll put some ice on that nasty bump.

You really ought to check your facts before jumping to conclusion Mandy.

You think people will be pleased that we're trying to help.