Scenes with Sam Jones 49
[First lines. The episode opens on a blustery day in the countryside and a bus driving down a hill]
It's blowing a gale today in Pontypandy, but a hurricane wouldn't lower the spirits of the ever cheerful debonair Trevor Evans the bus.
[Trevor Evans is singing while driving the minibus when a leaf blows into the windscreen]
Oh! [Switches the wipers on to get rid of the leaf] Ha!
[He drives past a telephone cable which is blowing about in the wind, and it eventually falls onto the road. The camera cuts to the home of Fireman Sam Jones in Pontypandy, the town in which Fireman Sam is set]
Fireman Sam is just finishing his breakfast.
[We see Sam eating his breakfast while listening to the radio]
SSSam's Radio
High winds this morning in South Wales, but moderating later in the day.
SSam
Mmmm. [Turns off his radio] I quite like windy days. Wind blows those cobwebs away. I know. [He gets out of his seat] I think I'll give Sarah and James a ring. [Picks up the telephone in the hall] Perhaps we could go to the park after I finish my shift. Odd. That's very odd. The phone's dead!
[Minutes later, Sam is walking in the wind as debris goes flying in the other direction. Inside the nearby cafe, Bella Lasagne, the cafe's owner, is trying to make a phone call, but to no avail]
Pronto, pronto. Hello, hello? Oh, the telephone! It not work!
[Sam enters the cafe]
SSam
Hello there, Bella. I'll have my usual. Cheese and chutney sandwiches, please.
Sandwiches, I will make the sandwiches? I got no bread. I phone the baker, but the phone are no work. Oh, Mamma Mia!
SSam
Mmm, leave it to me, Bella, I'll see what I can do.
[One day, Sarah and James are picking potatoes in a field]
In a field above Pontypandy, on a rather hot day, Sarah and James are picking potatoes for Bella Lasagne.
Girls girls girls, moan moan moan. Come on, let's just get the job done.
Just 'cause you know Bella will give you some ice cream, greedy. Listen! It's Uncle Sam. [Races to the gate]
And Jupiter. [Puts the rake down and walks to the gate]
[Jupiter is worming its way down the hill with Fireman Sam at the wheel]
SSam
Well, sir, a day and a half this has been. It's the weather I suppose.
That's right, Fireman Sam. A blazing hot weather means lots of fires, eh, Cridlington?
Eh, oh, yeah, uh blazes, a blaze in hot weather too, right man, um, sir.
Who's in that field over there, Sam?
SSam
Oh, that's Sarah and James. [Stops Jupiter right next to the field to talk to Sarah and James] What are you doing in Bella's potato patch?
For tomorrow's chips. It's hard, mind. My back aches.
SSam
Does it now? Well let's have a think. Yes, good idea that. Helping Bella. Carry on the good work. [Drives off]
[The episode opens outside Pontypandy Fire Station]
It's all go at Pontypandy Fire Station this morning.
[Inside the fire station, Station Officer Basil Steele is reading a red book as he enters the kitchen]
Drill day today, eh, Cridlington?
[Elvis is busy making lunch for the fire brigade]
Now one cup of marge to two cup, two cups... [Sees Station Officer Steele] Oh, brill brill. I mean, a drill, uh, Station Officer Steele, sir, but I am making lunch, sir.
Oh, well. Not to worry, Trevor Evans is here today on his part-time fireman course. What is that, by the way.
Well, um, instant mashed potatoes, sir, it's full of fibre, you know. It's very easy to make.
Yes, well the last time you said that, we had to buy a new stove.
[Soon, Station Officer Steele is in his office]
Quick burst of the assembly bell. [Presses the bell] Fireman Sam! [Fireman Sam slides down the pole] Fireman Evans, fall in at the double!
FSFireman Sam
[saluting to Station Officer Steele] Reporting for duty sir.
[Trevor, dressed in his firefighter uniform, is stuck on the pole]
Oh. [Slides down the pole] Oooohhh! [Hits the floor]
[clears throat] Today, we shall be doing pump drill from a hydrant using soft suction followed by slip and pitch at Bella's cafe.
[whispering to Sam] Doesn't sound very tasty.
Slip and pitch, Fireman Evans, means using a ladder to rescue someone who is stuck.
[Soon, the firemen, minus Elvis, have climbed into Jupiter and are now ready to move out as they put their seatbelts on]
SSam
All present and correct, sir.
Right, Thomas Street, let's go.
[Sam starts Jupiter's engine and Jupiter leaves Pontypandy Fire Station en route to its destination]
Oh, lovely things, these are fire helmets. [Door knocks] Yes? Come in.
SJSam Jones
Morning, Sir.
Yeah what is it, Fireman Sam?
SJSam Jones
I thought I let you know that I'm--
What's that cotton ball doing in your ears?
SJSam Jones
I- I- I'm sorry, sir I can't hear a word you see, I got some cotton wool in my ears.
I said, what's that cotton--
SJSam Jones
Oh, oh, sorry sir. J-j-just going to test some sirens.
[Sam Jones comes out his inventing shed at the back of his house carrying a newspaper, where he tears off a certain headline and article on the side of it. Sarah and James Jones walk up playing with their remote control car.]
SJSam Jones
Hello, Sarah, James.
SJSam Jones
It's my entry form for "The Best Inventor in Wales Competition."
[pointing to a skateboard with a motor on it] Is that your invention then?
SJSam Jones
Oh, that automatic motorized skateboard? Well, it was, but I haven't quite perfected it yet. Take a look at this though.
[Sam pulls off a cloth revealing a rubbish-bin robot with arms.]
SJSam Jones
I'd like you to meet MOP.
SJSam Jones
Yes. M-O-P. You see. Motorized Organizer and Polisher. Well, everyone hates tidying up, now MOP can do it for you. Look, I'll give you a demonstration.
[Sam turns MOP's switch on. MOP starts clearing up some of the newspaper bits that Sam dropped to the ground, using a small brush and dustpan.]
Oh, wicked! You're bound to win.
[MOP starts charging toward Sarah and snatches her lollipop out of her hand and starts going a bit wild.]
Oh, but not that much! Hey! My lolly!
SJSam Jones
Shiver me tweakies! [Sam quickly turns MOP off.] Dear me, this one needs perfection too. Thank you, MOP.
[Sam hands Sarah back her lollipop.]
Yes... but what will you do for an invention, Uncle Sam?
SJSam Jones
Oh, I'll think of something. "Three goes for a Welshman" as they say.
[Sam is working underneath Jupiter at the fire station, while Sarah and James help him.]
SJSam Jones
Won't be long now, kids. Spanner?
[passes spanner to James] Uh, spanner.
[passes spanner to Sam] Spanner.
[passes tweaker to James] Tweaker.
[passes tweaker to Sam] Tweaker.
[Elvis comes out wearing a cooking apron, and holding a mixing bowl.]
[to Sarah and James] Oh, oh, hello, you two. You playing hospitals?
[laughs] No, Elvis. We're helping Uncle Sam.
He's entering "The Best Inventor in Wales Competition."
Oh. Well, why don't you invent a cooker, that cooks perfect food every time.
SJSam Jones
We don't need one, Elvis. We got you.
Pardon? Oh, oh, thank you.
[The episode opens with snow falling around Pontypandy, but it fades to the morning]
There's a surprise for the people of Pontypandy as they open their curtains this morning.
[Dilys Price goes to look at the snow that's fallen outside N.W. Price's general store]
Bloomin' nuisance, this snow. Makes the place untidy. [The camera pans right to Bella's cafe] Norman! Norm, help me clear the path!
[off camera] I want to go sledging, mum.
[Bella is looking at the snow from her cafe]
Ah, the snow. It glisten like the diamond in the sunlight.
[Some snow falls off the awning of Bella's cafe, revealing the name. Meanwhile, a robin lands on the fountain which is now frozen and pecks on the ice, but then it flies away. Then, the camera fades to outside Sam's house]
SSSam's Radio
It's going to be a white Christmas as predicted. Four inches of snow fell overnight in parts of Wales, with drifting in places....
[Inside his house, Sam is having breakfast]
SSSam's Radio
And with these colder fronts moving in from Scandinavia and Russia, there's more on the way.
[Sam turns his radio off]
SSam
Hmmmm. Well, I hope the snowploughs have done their job. [Reads the Christmas card that he has just opened] I wonder if Sarah and James are up yet. They're going to have some fun today.
[At the fire station, Penny Morris answers the telephone]
Pontypandy Fire Station... Oh, hello, Sam. Sunning yourself on the Costa del Porthcawl?
SJSam Jones
[on the other line] No. No, not quite. I'm in the phone box outside Dilys' shop. I was wondering how things are going.
SJSam Jones
Everything in the garden is lovely then, isn't it?. You don't need, uh, anything doing?
Well, if you're desperate for something to do, you could always weed my garden.
SJSam Jones
Oh, no problem. [while Penny is surprised by this immediate acceptance] I'll be there in two ticks. [hangs up the phone and mutters to himself] I've had enough taking it easy to last me a year.
[Final lines in the original series. In her café, Bella gives Norman a plate with a burger and some chips]
Hamburger and chips, Norman, your favourite.
Oh, thanks. [Picks up his burger and takes a bite] Mmmmm. Hey, Penny, can I have a lick with my burger now? Ha hey! Ha hey! [Licks the ketchup on his wrist]
[to Penny] See, I've tried to bring him up proper, Penny, I don't know where he gets it from. [Puts her finger on some mustard bottle and tastes it]
[Meanwhile, Station Officer Steele is congratulating everyone as he joins Sam and Elvis at their table]
Well done, everyone, lunch is on the fire service. Um....
Lunch here? But what about my curry?
Yes, uh, well I think it's probably, uh, dried to a frazzle now, Cridlington. Still, can't be helped.
I-I suppose so, sir. [Smiles] Hey, as Bella's so busy, I could give her hand with the cooking. [Leaves the table]
SSam
Aye, well good try, anyway, sir.
[Sam, Elvis and Penny are standing in position while Station Officer Steele addresses them.]
Jupiter is in good order, thank you. Now, the children are on holiday, and you know what that means.
SJSam Jones
Norman Price getting into trouble.
Not just Norman. It could be any one of Pontypandy's children. So stand by for heads stuck in railings, children stuck up trees and...
[while Penny chuckles] ...Sheep falling off Pontypandy Mountain, sir?
That would be a Mountain Rescue situation.
I think Officer Cridlington was joking, sir.
SJSam Jones
No he isn't, Penny. We had to rescue Woolly Wonders before now.
Anyway, we have to expect the unexpected and the watchword is "vigilance."
SJSam Jones
And that means keeping an eye on Norman Price.
[Fire alarm rings as Penny takes the note out of the fax machine]
A boy is stuck on Pontypandy Mountain with a sheep.
SJSam Jones and Elvis Cridlington
Norman Price!
[Tom Thomas, in his helicopter, lowers a harness over Sam Jones in order for him to rescue Norman from the ledge.]
SJSam Jones
[to Norman] Right, Norman, this what I'm going to do: I'm going to put this harness on and swing across to pick you up.
SJSam Jones
No. Tarzan wasn't a trained firefighter, was he? This is safe.
[Scene opens at the fire station all covered in snow and Station Officer Steele is shivering]
This cold weather won't make our job any easier, you can't fight fire with ice cubes.
SSam
No sir, but this antifreeze should stop the hoses from freezing up.
Quite. Cridlington! [Sees that Elvis isn't listening] Oh, I say!
[Station Officer Steele walks over to Elvis who is wearing earmuffs]
Yes Station Officer Steele sir!
See if you can get that icicle off.
[Elvis bends down and examins the icicle that's blocking the outside tap]
And be careful, the tips very sharp.
[Elvis stands up, only to rip his scarf on the icicle]
Yes sir, it is sir. Gone right through my scarf it has sir!
[Norman and Woolly sneak into Station Officer Steele's office at the fire station]
[Norman sets Woolly down while Woolly is bleating]
You'll be as warm as toast in here, see you later.
[Woolly makes his way to Station Officer Steele's chair and sets himself down on it, at that moment, Station Officer Steele walks in thinking that Woolly is a cushion]
Ah, a sheepskin cushion, just the thing for this cold weather
[As Station Officer Steele is about to sit down, Woolly bleats and alarms him]
What the-?! Look here! MEN!.
[Sam, Penny and Elvis walk in the office surprised to see Woolly there]
This is a fire station not a farm! Get that fleecy flea bag out of here!
[Scene cuts to Station Officer Steele holding Woolly outside the fire station]
And see he doesn't darken my door again!
[Station Officer Steele sets Woolly down and goes back inside, Woolly slips on the ice and knocks Norman over]
Don't worry Woolly, leave it to me and you'll be snug as a bug in a rug, the cafe's warm, you can stay there 'til I get your bed ready.
[While on their way to Dilys' shop, Jupiter suddenly skids on a patch of black ice]
SSam
Great fire of London! Black ice!
phew, saved us you did Sam.
SSam
Now to save Dilys and Norman.
Fireman Sam · 146 quotes