“The Kipper and the Corpse” · Season 2
In this episode: Basil Fawlty (4), Polly Sherman (1), Major Gowen (1)
You mean to tell me you didn't realise this man was dead?
Well, people don't talk that much in the morning. Look, I'm just delivering a tray, right. If the guest isn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning," I don't immediately think "Oh, there's another snuffed it in the night. Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance." I mean, this is a hotel, not the Burma railway!
Don't tell anyone, but he's dead.
Oh. Shot, was he?
No, No. Died in his sleep.
In his sleep. Well, you're off your guard, you see.
I mean, it does say 'hotel' outside. Maybe I should be more precise, 'Hotel for people who have more than 50% chance of making it through the night'!
[sarcastically] Rosewood, mahogany, teak?
[confused] I beg your pardon?
What would you like your breakfast tray made out of?
I don’t really mind.
Are you sure? Fine! Well, you go and have a really good night’s sleep then. [looks at his watch, while Mr. Leeman goes upstairs, still confused] I’m hoping to get a couple hours later on myself. [shouting] I’ll be up in good time to serve you your breakfast in bed. If you can remember to sleep with your mouth open, you won’t even have to wake up – I’ll just drop in small pieces of lightly buttered kipper when you’re breathing in the right direction if that doesn’t put you out! [looks at the room behind the counter, searching for Sybil, then speaks to himself sarcastically, imitating his wife] Basil! [hits his hand]
[trying to speak to her boss in code, telling him that the corpse’s arm is sticking out of the wardrobe’s door] She doesn’t mean any arm!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fawlty Towers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
