Gloria Burgle quotes from Fargo

Gloria Burgle

Got married straight out of high school to a guy I knew since fifth grade summer camp. Summer wedding. Guests were mostly mosquitoes. We had a baby boy, then a toddler, now a teen. Last year, my husband phones me at work, tells me he's got a boyfriend named Dale. Says they're moving in together. Says he's sorry. He loves me, but not like that. "What else is there?" I say. You think the world is something, then it turns out to be something else.

Gloria Burgle

The old way works just fine. Type out a report, send it via telex.

Moe Dammick

You do know what year it is, right? The future. We don't use - Who uses telexes anymore?

Gloria Burgle

So that's why no one ever writes me back.

Room 203. Very nice room, very nice. It's got air conditioning. You can smell the ocean.

Gloria Burgle

There's a view?

No, there's a smell. At low tide.

Look, I'm just gonna cut to the chase here, gorgeous: Am I getting laid here, or what?

Gloria Burgle

Uh, "what".

Cool. Thanks for the beer.

Let me ask you something. Do you know about science?

Gloria Burgle

Do I know about...?

About science. Well, science has this thing - it's been proven - they call it "quantum"... something. It talks about how we're all just particles... we're floating out there... we're moving through space. Nobody knows where we are. And then every once in awhile... "BANG!" We collide. And suddenly for maybe a minute, we're real. And then we float off again. As if we don't even exist. I used to think it meant something. These collisions, the people we found.

Gloria Burgle

And now?

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Moe Dammick

Either you’re on vacation ‘til the handover - take some time to grieve, be with your family, Merry Christmas, all that - or start looking for another job.

Gloria Burgle

Happy holidays, sir.

Moe Dammick

That’s what I thought.

He played tennis.

Gloria Burgle

Ray?

Our dad. At his club, rain or shine, every Saturday. He had that thing all dads have after 30 years of wearing socks, where the hair gets worn away, so he's basically bald from the shins down. [chuckles] I was on the drive, you know, throwing a ball against the house, a tennis ball. Wasn't supposed to, but he was gone, so... And Ray's someplace, kitchen probably, he was always eating, that kid. Real chubby. And then, Dad's home. He had this old Mercedes diesel, you could hear it on the come. So I hide the ball and he pulls in. Not out of the car ten seconds, when down he goes, flat on his face. One minute, he's waving hello, the next, just drops like - like the lights go out. [pause] I killed him.

Gloria Burgle

Your dad?

Ray. First I tricked him, then I killed him. Like no days had passed. Like one thing goes and then another. Like you whack a tennis ball back and forth.