E.R. quotes

Abby

[when Carter decides to head back to Africa] I don't know. You knew I didn't want you to go, and you went anyway. What, were you trying to hurt me?

Carter

Why would I want to hurt you?

Abby

I, I don't know! I don't know! Why would you want to hurt me?

Carter

It wasn't about you.

Abby

Oh, come on! You weren't even going to tell me you were going! If I hadn't bumped in to you when you were leaving, I wouldn't even have known!

Carter

I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wanted to feel like I was really doing something.

Abby

Did you even think about me?

Carter

Yes.

Abby

Okay, what did you think (pause) What did you think? I don't know why you bothered to come back. (starts walking away)

Carter

Oh, you're just going to walk away?

Abby

Yeah.

Carter

Okay, walk away, Abby. That's what you do best.

Abby

You want to know what you do best? You make this all about my problems, but you know what? You have some problems too. You've got some really big problems.

Luka

I was raised in the church. Catholic. I used to go twice a week with my mother. It was beautiful. I liked the music, the singing.

Do you still go?

Luka

No, I stopped when my children and wife were murdered. I couldn't believe in a God would allow such a terrible thing to happen. (pauses, ironically) It's really hard to feel the Holy Spirit's presence on a day like today.

Debbie

You really don't like the Dixie Chicks? Everybody likes the Dixie Chicks.

Carter

Everybody?

Debbie

Everybody with taste.

Carter

I brought you some things: Sterile gloves, needles, catheters, syringes. IV Ceftriaxone and Cipro. DPL sets, suture kits, old pulse-ox. Ooh, look at this. Old microscope. I tried to get a portable x-ray, but it wouldn't fit in my carry-on.

Where did you get all of that?

Carter

My hospital in Chicago donated it.

Do they know they donated it?

Carter

Yeah, more or less.

Debbie

If any of the various armies or militia involved in this mess knew we were giving money to the enemy, money that could buy weapons and food, we'd be dead. And I don't mean "dead in the water," I mean "head mounted on a sharpened stick" dead.

Carter

[to the Mai Mai soldiers] You guys burned the clinic to the ground?! You guys... You guys keep burning down hospitals, where are you gonna go when you get shot, huh? Where are you gonna go when your mothers get shot?!

How's the stump feeling?

Romano

It's suffering from delusions of grandeur. It still thinks it's an arm.

I can prepare another letter to the insurance company.

Romano

I've got two letters for the insurance company; "F" and "U"!

Romano

You really are one grade-A bitch, you know that, Kerry?

Kerry

No, Robert, I'm your boss, and as long as I am, you're my bitch. Now get your ass back to work.

Romano

Did you get rid of those nurses?

Jerry

Yeah. They, uh, they went up to nursing administration saying something about hiring a hitman.

Frank

Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.

Romano

Let's get a few things straight, all right, nut meat? One: we don't offer remedial medicine here. Two: you don't talk to me, I talk to you. Three...

Should I be writing this down?

Romano

[shouting] Stay out of my face!

Romano

[to Pratt] You are a screw-up, Pratt and just to make myself clear, I didn't like you before I knew that.

Jerry

Pratt, Hampton called from GI. She's not going to see the quarter kid until morning, but she plans on seeing Romano first.

Pratt

Is that all she said?

Jerry

No, actually, she said you're an asshole, too. Night.

I like your style, man.

Pratt

Oh, yeah? Well, get your own.

Abby

I need a favor.

Abby, it's 8:00 in the morning.

Abby

Yeah, I know. I don't have a lot of time. I need you to co-sign a loan.

Why don't you just declare bankruptcy?

Abby

Look, I'm not in trouble, OK? I just need you...

You want me to support you?

Abby

No. I never asked for alimony, I didn't contest anything in court, I didn't take the damned furniture.

You could have, if you wanted to.

Abby

Look, you must know how much I hate to do this. I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. I don't want your money, I just want your signature.