[about the scar from his brain surgery] Thought it was cooler than a tattoo.
You could have at least called me, you know.
And say what? "Hey, how's it going? By the way, I have a brain tumor."
S8 E4Never Say Never
[about Weaver] I thought she was going to protect me. She went to protect herself.
What did you expect?
I don't know. It never occurred to me that she had to protect her own ass.
Maybe your asses aren't mutually exclusive.
You scheduled meetings with my Residents without telling me?
I'm sorry. Did you not get the memo?
What memo?
The one that says I run the place.
I want you to know I went on record against this, but the administration...
Am I being fired, Kerry?
No. No, no, of course not. You're on a year's probation and subject to a month's suspension without pay. I argued your case to the best of my ability, but Risk Management feels that given your history they needed to take corrective measures to mitigate any further incidents.
My history?
The guide wire.
God, you're gonna use that?
You'll also have to resign your Chief Residency.
What?
I understand how upsetting this must...
What about you? Are you going to resign anything?
My involvement, or lack thereof, is not at issue.
Yeah, yeah. You made sure of that.
Look, this is only a temporary setback, after which you'll be back on track.
Were you even wearing your pager that night?
This isn't about me. Someone obviously misdialed.
Yeah, just blame everyone but yourself, Kerry.
Look, I'm sorry that this had to happen.
You are not sorry. Just relieved.
Jing-Mei, I...
Go to hell, Kerry. I quit.
[about Chen] Look, I'm gonna miss her too. This saddens me too. It's easy for you to be upset and angry when you don't have to manage the situation, but guess what? I'm angry and upset, okay? I mean, I think it sucks only I don't have anyone to complain to.
You're asking me to feel sorry for you now?
No. I just wanted you to know what was going on.
S8 E5Start All Over Again
First day of school and you're already making new friends?
Oh, yeah. I'm a shoo-in for homecoming queen.
So far, so good.
Oh, yeah. Foul abscess, a neurotic granny, naked boy here and I had to break into Chen's locker.
Did you steal her stuff?
[to Elizabeth] I'm not keeping score, but isn't this your third post-op death this week? Congratulations. We call that a hat-trick.
DDenise
Don't drop my baby!
Don't worry, Dr. Carter used to be in the circus.
Yeah, as a clown, right?
Human cannonball. Until I got fired.
S8 E6Supplies and Demand
I had a life before John Carter. If you want someone with no history, you're gonna have to find yourself a virgin.
[after trying yoga] I think I twisted my knee doing that damn locust position.
No, it's "lotus," like the flower.
Oh, well that explains why it hurts. I was doing the "grasshopper."
Rachel, you do not want to battle with me. You'll lose, I guarantee it!
S8 E7If I Should Fall from Grace
Is there a lost and found box?
Yeah, someone stole it.
I need a psych consult, my patient thinks he's a vampire.
'Count Fred'? Where is he?
Exam 2.
Is there a nurse in there with him?
No, why?
He's a vampire.
What do you mean he's a vampire?
I mean he drinks people's blood.
You're kidding right?
[they look into the exam room and find Fred drinking blood from an IV pack]
That's nasty.
You ever gotten an Erythropoietic porphyria?
No.
What about porphyria cutanea tarda?
Nope.
What's the most unusual medical case you've ever seen?
I had a guy with a live bullfrog in his ass once.
[Carter tells Susan about his past drug addiction]
Fentanyl?
I figured if I'd abuse drugs, I'd abuse a good one.
...
Disappointed in me?
No, no! I'm just... you were stabbed!
Twice. I don't recommend it.
[laughs and pauses] Can I see your scar?
What? No!
Why not? Don't be bashful.
No! Get your own.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.