I thought we were going to be caged up until we died, like those stupid chickens!
The chickens! We must go back and save them!
Screw that! I'm gonna watch my OWN back from now on! If only I could watch my own feet! [Moves her boobs around, but is unable to see her feet]
We must turn back now and save the chickens, for they are Ling-Ling's brothers. But if you only care about yourself, then fine, go.
Later, asshole! Meep-meep! [takes off in "Road-Runner" style, but only gets a couple feet, falling flat on her chest and gasping and panting heavily; a vulture then flies in and lands on her butt]
VVulture
Jesus, how long has this thing been dead?!
[In confessional] So I was all alone at the dance. And worse, the meteor was about to smash into the Earth! And if the movie "Deep Impact" had anything to go by, the whole planet was about to become boring and unwatchable.
Captain Hero, you got to stop that meteor!
Can't you see I'm already one knuckle deep into fifth base?
[Clara sexually moaning]
[Everyone laughing]
That's it! [in microphone] Hold up, everybody! Now I know y'all think Captain Hero is real cool.
[Everyone agreed-talking]
[Everyone disagreed-talking]
I don't know what I was thinking. I fooled y'all into thinking Hero was cool by pretending to be his girlfriend so he would stop that meteor!
[Everyone gasps]
SFSteve from Long Island
Oh, really? Then explain this now. [tears off Hero's Lando costume]
Spanky? Clara? Steve from Long Island? [goes over to Xandir and Wooldoor] Oh, hey, man. You were right. The cool kids are assholes.
You shit on my house, man.
Yeah, you said that already.
Oh, really? How do you explain this? [phone line disconnected] The phone wasn't even plugged in. [makes ghost noises]
Uh, Clara, is that Kirk Cameron hiding behind that plant?
[Camera shows Kirk Cameron hiding behind a houseplant]
Kirk, you're busted! Run!
KCKirk Cameron
To learn more, visit my website wayofthemaster.com. [jumps out of the window] Catch me, Jesus!
[All that's heard is a "thump!"']'
Clara? I'm sick of that Bible-thumping bitch. And besides, what's the fun of a group activity when you can't exclude somebody?
EExcludie
You can say that again.
Shut up, Excludie! Get back in your box!
EExcludie
Aww... [walks off and goes back into his box]
VVoice
Get out, Excludie! We don't want you!
EExcludie
Aww... [walks off]
[Lyrics to Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie]
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
NNathan
It's a doosie of a word.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
EErnie
Have some booze and lay a turd in public view.
NNathan
Why the hell not?
EErnie
No need to give a flying fuck about what anyone else might say.
NNathan
My toilet is a tire teens set me on fire and you're off the grid and the tin foil hat blocks the government from accessing the chip in your brain.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
NNathan
Every dumpster is a smorgasbord.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
The mean streets are your room and board.
EErnie
The world's your oyster that we know.
When you take up the life of a derelict hobo.
NNathan
Living on the easy streets where the Free Masons can't detect you.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
ENErnie and Nathan
Scumma Bumma Grubba Moochie.
HTHot Topic Manager
[Walks into torture room] What part of "we need to evacuate" do you not understand?
Not today, mister! [Cuts off his arm]
Nice work, Clara! Now let's get- [Clara cuts off his other arm] Okay, I think you got him...
[Between hacks] I...MUST...GET...INTO...HEAVEN!
Not sure...how do you know when you're done killing something?
When your man pick you up at the clinic and take you drinking at the club.
Fine, if we must, we must. But before we eat Ling-Ling, let's take a moment to remember the good times.
I’ll always remember our trip to Paris... [The housemates are all seen together in Paris] Guys, this trip has really bringed us together.
Yes, Ling-Ling comfortable enough to share greatest fear. No matter what happen, please, no eat Ling-Ling.
And remember when we all got fucking wasted on the roof? [Next the housemates are sitting on the roof looking at the stars] Oh look, a shooting star!
Ling-Ling only wish is for roommates not to eat his body when he die.
Oh, and remember that time when Ling-Ling learnt to speak English?
[Next, they are in the living room listening to Ling-Ling]
[Speaking in English] What's wrong with you people?! Why don't you listen to me? Ling-Ling religion very specific. If body even so dead, he should not be eaten!
Well, guys, let's dig in. [Hands out chopsticks] It’s what Ling-Ling would’ve wanted.
What was Ling Ling thinking?! Battle monster not meant to dance!
Gash! What are you doing here?
GGash
I came to see you dance.
But you said Ling Ling could never be a dancer.
GGash
I was just jealous. I, too, always wanted to be a dancer as well, also, but I didn't have the talent, so I tortured you relentlessly until you became a sociopathic killer, crushing all your dreams. My bad.
Is this where the auditions are?
FFrankenberry
Don't be shy, come in. I'm Frankenberry, the president of the cereal empire. This is Tony Tiger, and of course, you know Violent Retard from Violent Retard Flakes.
There isn't any cereal called Violent Retard Flakes.
FFrankenberry
You tell him.
Hey, you cereal mascot dickbag! Toot Braunstein is gonna destroy you and the entire cereal empire with these special UPC codes!
There's nothing special about UPC Codes. Why, they're everywhere! And have been since 1971. First suggested by Wallace Flint in 1922, the Uniform Product Code or "UPC" was developed–[an annoyed Captain Hero hits him on the head] I like to pee on things!
