Dr. Martin Ellingham quotes from Doc Martin

Joan Norton

Look, Marty, you do realise that the villagers are dusting off their pitchforks, don't you?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yes. Exactly how many generations ago did the inbreeding start with these people?

Bert Large

So I've given everyone the runs?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Quick as a flash.

Louisa Glasson

I heard you on the radio.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Oh. Which time?

Louisa Glasson

Does it matter?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yes, some were more painful than others.

Louisa Glasson

Really?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

No, they were all awful.

PC Mark Mylow

That's easy for you to say - you haven't got my problem. You haven't got a date with the woman of your dreams.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Who's that?

PC Mark Mylow

Louisa.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

What makes you think that?

PC Mark Mylow

Think what?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

That the woman of my dreams... Louisa. Louisa is the woman of your dreams.

Doc Martin?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Dr Ellingham, yes.

Yeah, I heard you prefer your proper title. I thought surgeons prided themselves on just plain Mr.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I'm no longer a surgeon.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

For future reference, unless you're incapacitated you should come in to the surgery.

I can't really leave here during the day.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Let's hope you don't need a doctor then.

So it's true.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

It's true I don't appreciate having my time wasted if that's what you mean.

A man of your talent. Famously sharp mind. Portwenn must come as a bit of a shock. I bet half the village came in when you opened up just to see what you'd done with the place.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yes They did.

Then there's the aggressive unhelpfulness of that receptionist, oh what's her name?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Elaine?

Yeah Elaine. And those girls. Those girls that just hang around giggling all the time, What's that all about?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

You're very perceptive.

They can't make good coffee there, it's just brown water.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

In my experience, you can get brown water from the tap.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

He locked me in his compound.

PC Mark Mylow

He locked you in?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Well, there was a key but I didn't know it. I felt he forced me to have dinner with him and Anthony the squirrel.

PC Mark Mylow

Give me a shout if you need a hand.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I do. I do need that hand.

PC Mark Mylow

Technically I can't bring him in on a 136 unless I find him in a public place, that's the mental health act.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Why didn't you tell me?

I've gone over the top haven't I?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yeah.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

The pills old Doctor Sim used to give you. You were taking them weren't you. Did they help?

Kept me just this side of Bodmin.

PC Mark Mylow

I hope you don't mind me saying, but I think Portwenn's having an effect on you. That was a good call you made today. What you did with Stewart. I think the village'll appreciate it.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Then you won't mind me saying that I don't actually carry vitamin tablets but luckily for Stewart, you do.

PC Mark Mylow

What?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Your, um, enlargement tablets. Ascorbic acid, d-alpha tocopherol, prydoxine... they're multivitamins.

PC Mark Mylow

They can't... that's not ethical.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

You'll get over it. Big boy.

People think I'm being rude, but I'm just saying what's in my head, you know.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yeah. I do know.

Louisa Glasson

I got involved in a surfing club of all things. I think what clinched it was the kids saying I'm too old.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Nonsense. People of all ages go surfing.

Louisa Glasson

You should come along. It'd be nice to see you out of that suit and in a wet... suit...

Elaine Denham

Your stuff's arrived at the pharmacy, you'd better go and get it.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Er, no Elaine...

Elaine Denham

Just don't speak to me now, innit!