Peter Cronk quotes from Doc Martin

PC Mark Mylow

Peter, I could arrest you for criminal damage. But I was thinking, Bob in the lifeboat house has some woodworking tools. Maybe you and I could spend some time in there? Make a few bird tables?

(Considers the suggestion for a moment) I'd sooner be arrested.

People think I'm being rude, but I'm just saying what's in my head, you know.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yeah. I do know.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Where does it hurt?

I'm all right.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

When you're the doctor you can make that judgement. Where does it hurt?

It doesn't.

I have done some reading.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Have you done a medical degree?

No.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Well, shut up then.

I was wrong. Intercostal sprain.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Well, we'll see. Let's get you to the hospital, you might be right.

No. You tell the truth. Most adults... you tell the truth.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

OK Peter, I think when you fell in the gym you may have hurt one of your important organs. You have some shoulder-tip pain on your left side so I suspect that it's the spleen.

You can live without your spleen, can't you?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yes you can. but you may be bleeding inside so that's why we're getting you to the hospital.

Am I going to be ok?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

If I have anything to do with it, yes.

So are you going to be our new headteacher?

Louisa Glasson

It's not for me to say, Peter.

Are you going to do something with the I.T. Department?

Louisa Glasson

What I.T. Department?

Exactly.

Louisa Glasson

What are you watching? Turn it off!

Oh, but they were just about to eat the virgin's eyeballs.

Louisa Glasson

Off! Martin?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

He told me it was educational.

Louisa Glasson

Yes, and he just said the words "virgin's eyeballs".

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Is that bad?