Al Large quotes from Doc Martin

Elaine Denham

How come you never asked me out, then?

Al Large

Well, you was with Greg.

Elaine Denham

Also, you were a bit of a non.

Bert Large

Son, I know it's your phone bill and you've got your own money coming in, but you do know that these mobile phones can damage your head membranes if used to excess.

Al Large

Dad, I've got Bluetooth.

Bert Large

There you go, that's exactly my point.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Al, Mr. Crozure is suffering a psychotic breakdown.

Al Large

What that mean?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

He is mad. Just do what he says.

Three miles off the coast. Nelson's Point. You know it?

Al Large

Yes.

A Spanish trawler at half mile off Nelson's Point. Tell them that Terry is sending. Say: "Terry me manda a por el paquete."

Al Large

Oh, yeah. OK.

Say it! "Terry me manda a por el paquete."

Pauline Lamb

"Terry me manda a por..."

Dr. Martin Ellingham

No. It's "Terry me manda a por la paquete."

Louisa Glasson

No, no. It's "a por *el* paquete."

Seriously! Tick, tock, tick, tock!

Bert Large

How would you feel, if you lost your girl? Because, if you're not careful, she's gonna leave you, toothbrush and all.

Bert Large

First off, you follow her around like a lamb.

Al Large

No, I don't.

Bert Large

Yes, you do, and Pauline don't like it.

Al Large

How do you know?

Bert Large

Because she told me not to tell you. And you're "seamy".

Al Large

I'm what?

Bert Large

"Seamy".

Al Large

I don't even know what that means, Dad.

Bert Large

Neither do I—but it's not good.

Pauline Lamb

Let me take you somewhere, right now.

Al Large

Where?

Pauline Lamb

To apologize to Louisa. You said she was fat.

Al Large

No, you said she was fat.

Pauline Lamb

No - I said she was obese.

Al Large

You went to a loan shark?

Bert Large

That's not what it's called them so!

Al Large

But you know that what it is!