Dr. Martin Ellingham quotes from Doc Martin

Elaine Denham

Are you Doc Martin?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

No, no. I'm Doctor Ellingham.

Elaine Denham

I'm Elaine.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

That must be nice for you.

Elaine Denham

Practice receptionist?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Oh. I'm not hiring yet.

Elaine Denham

I've come from Delabole!

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Is that far?

Elaine Denham

I've come from Delabole? There's no point going and then coming back later. I may as well start now, innit.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

How are you feeling today? Any ringing in the ears?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

(Answering phone) Ellingham?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

It's for you.

Elaine Denham

I'm not here.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Elaine's not here.

Elaine Denham

Hang on. Is that Greg?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Are you Greg? Elaine for you.

Elaine Denham

(Whispers) I'm not talking to Greg.

Elaine Denham

Yeah... Yeah... No! Look! You're needy and I'm 26, innit.

Elaine Denham

Any milk?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

One spore or two?

Elaine Denham

What?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

It had turned to penicillin. It's in the bin.

Elaine Denham

Hello? I need coffee!

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Elaine, while you're here there are a few things to organise.

Elaine Denham

Like what?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

A new exam couch for starters.

Elaine Denham

Wait!

Dr. Martin Ellingham

A new exam couch. An examination light. A functioning sphygmomanometer.

Elaine Denham

What's that?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

(Testily) It measures blood pressure. That should be it for the moment.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

"Milk, biscuits"?

Elaine Denham

While you're getting that other stuff. Oh, and Hello! magazine. Write it down.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I'm not your personal shopper, I want you to find me a medical equipment supplier.

Gilbert Spencer. Lieutenant-Colonel. Retired.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Martin Ellingham. Doctor. Practising.

Do you think it could be something to do with the water? There have been rumours.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I sincerely hope not, or we'll all be needing a bra.

Joan Norton

The last time you were here you got a splinter in your finger on the beach and you cried.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I was seven.

Joan Norton

You were eleven. And you wet the bed.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Elaine, are you going to lend a hand here?

Elaine Denham

I can't work like this.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Well why don't you go home then?

Old Dr Sim didn't care much for the rule book.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

He didn't care much for hygiene either by the state of his surgery.

Joan Norton

Her name's Louisa Glasson, the school teacher.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

I know. We've met.

Joan Norton

But not successfully.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Why do you say that?

Joan Norton

You were skulking and nobody skulks after a successful meeting.

Elaine Denham

Did you hurt that dog? I love dogs.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Yeah, I love them too. I love the way they smell. I love the way they bite you. Dogs are the best.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Elaine, does Susan Brading know Gilbert Spencer?

Bert Large

Know him? Only in the Biblical sense.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

What do you mean, she gave birth to him in a stable?

Elaine Denham

There's a patient waiting.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

No, there isn't because as you know, I'm not open for business yet.

Elaine Denham

There's still a patient waiting.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

You'd better be dying.

I think I'm growing breasts.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Oh, no.

Oh, God. It's serious, innit!

Dr. Martin Ellingham

What? Oh, no, nothing to do with you, I had a theory, you've just proved it wrong.

Louisa Glasson

How are you finding us?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Irritating. All except the primary school teacher who's a pirate, it seems.

PC Mark Mylow

You depressed?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Aw no, I've antagonized half the village, buggered up a marriage, and crashed my car. Why would I be depressed?

PC Mark Mylow

I'm depressed.