Fran Sinclair quotes from Dinosaurs

Ethyl

Television is responsible for the utter degradation of our society. We should write a letter.

Fran

Mom? Get a life.

Charlene

Mom, you said you were the last one in your class to get your tail. How did you handle it?

Fran

Oh, well... that was a long time ago, and I'm sure I handled it with grace and dignity.

Ethyl

She tried to throw herself off the roof.

Fran

Mother!

Ethyl

Of course, you weighed 2800 pounds, so the roof collapsed. She fell right through onto Grandpa Louie, who was cleaning his pipe at the time. We never found the pipe, but Grandpa Louie walked funny after that...

Earl

How'd I do, Fran?

Fran

Well, "not the mama", but you'll do in a pinch.

Fran

Earl, Monica needs a job, and there's going to be an opening down at work, right?

Earl

Right.

Fran

So...

Earl

So? So? Fran, will you stop talking in riddles?

Fran

I want you to take Monica to work and get her interview with Mr. Richfield.

Earl

A female tree-pusher? You can't be serious! It's ludicrous! I'd be a laughingstock!

Ethyl

I can't believe they use that kind of language on television. Don't they know that kids are watching?

Fran

Mother, this is an important real-life event. This will make the kids think.

Ethyl

I don't want the kids to think. I want the kids to watch safe little situation comedies, with time-tested repetitive storylines.

Fran

I watched on TV what you said about Monica, and it's not the Monica I know. She's an honest, responsible individual who would never mislead anybody.

And we'd like to believe your testimony, Mrs. Sinclair. However, I have evidence that when you were just a young girl, you lived with this older man! [shows a picture of a male dinosaur] Without benefit of marriage!

Fran

That's my father!

Mr. Mason Dixon

All the more disgusting!

Earl

[in a German accent] Fran, is this true?

Fran

Are you all insane?!

Oh, it gets worse, Mrs. Sinclair. I also have a picture of you sitting on his lap!

Fran

No, crying isn't going to help.

Fran

Because you ate it.

Baby

No, the cookie creature took it.

Fran

All right. A cookie creature took it.

Baby

Don't talk down to me!

Fran

This is between you and the cookie creature, so you two will have to work it out.

Fran Sinclair

Robbie, you have feelings for this girl, but you're breaking up with her just because of a lot of rumors. Does that make sense? When I first met your father, a lot of my friends told me he had no ambition, he was lazy and he would stay a tree-pusher all his life! Now were they right?

Fran Sinclair

Well, that may not be the best example...

[sighs] It's over between Wendy and me.

Fran Sinclair

[to herself] Why didn't I listen to them?

Earl Sinclair

Fine, son. Go ahead, ruin my life! But if you decide to end this important relationship, you should realize that somebody's heart may be broken. And you have to do the decent thing, and handle it face to face.

You expect me to go and talk to Wendy?

Earl Sinclair

Forget Wendy! Get your butt over there and apologize to Mr. Richfield! And take him some flowers!

Fran Sinclair

Earl, he needs to talk to Wendy! A young girl's feelings are at stake here.

Earl Sinclair

A big, scary boss's feelings are at stake here! [to Robbie] You go and apologize to Mr. Richfield right now! Apologize to him profusely! And tell him that I tried to talk you out of it!

Baby

Can I go to the afterlife?

Fran

No, not for a long time, sweetheart.

Baby

Oh, but I wanna go to the afterlife! Better than the now life.

Fran

Earl, I'm worried about what Mother's saying on TV. I'm afraid of the effect this may have on simple, impressionable minds.

Earl

[petulantly] I wanna go to the afterlife!

Fran

Earl!

Earl

Gee, Fran, now that I know there is one, why should I worry so much about politics, the environment and social injustice? I'm just gonna put my feet up and wait to die.

Ethyl

What I'm going to do is enjoy life and love each and every one of you... starting tomorrow.

Fran

Why not today?

Ethyl

Because today there's a perfectly good hole in the backyard, and we're gonna bury fat boy in it. [Earl regains conciousness at this]

Earl

What? [Ethyl hits him over the head with the shovel]

Baby

Again!

Good morning. Last night's massive aerial springs have succeeded in destroying all of the cider poppies. Unfortunately, it also killed all other forms of plant life on the planet.

[sadly] Well, there goes breakfast.

...and so it seems the task force solution to the cider poppy problem, has caused an environmental calamity of catastrophic proportions.

Baby

Somebody's in trouble.

Earl

[happily] Good morning, everyone! Isn't it a beautiful day?

Fran

[angrily] Earl, have you looked outside? That spray of yours killed every plant on Earth!

Earl

D'oh, pish-posh, Franny! Given the operation of this magnitude just bound to be some unfortunate casualties, but let's not giving the wild hunt purply. [Earl sees the valley with dead plants; Earl gasps in shocked] Duh... maybe we went a little overboard with the poison.

Charlene

[shocked in anger] A little? [furious] Your stupid spray killed all plant life!

Earl

Hey, what are you complaining about? You never liked salads anyway!

Charlene

[shocked in anger] Huh?

[angrily] You've destroyed the global food chain! No plants means no food at all!

Earl

Nonsense! There's a wide variety of commercial snack foods which have virtually no natural ingredients.

Fran

[furious] Earl, we can't live on Ho-Ho's!

Baby

I can!

Earl

[reassuringly] Hey, let's not get panicky. Our Task Force Technical Advisor will know exactly how to bring back the plants.

B.P. Richfield

How the heck should I know?! I'm a captain of industry, not a gardener!!!

Earl

Could I have everybody's attention? There's something I have to say. [Sighs] First of all, Stan, I have to apologize to you.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

Earl

I now realize that building that wax fruit factory on your mating ground was wrong. Oh, sure, wax fruit's important, but... but so are bunch beetles.

Gee, that's big of you Earl. But I'm still feeling kind of blue. Maybe if there was someone holding me to her comforting bosom...[To Charlene] Hi.

Ooh! I'll take it.

Earl

And, I guess I owe the rest of you an apology too. You know, for bringing on the end of the world and civilization and everything.

Ethyl

I always knew you'd screw things up. I just didn't know how bad.

Fran

Mother, he said he was sorry.

Earl

And I know I put too much faith in progress and technology, and had too little respect for nature. [Sad music starts playing the background.] But, it's so easy to take nature for granted because it's always there. And technology is so bright and shiny and new.

Fran

We understand, sweetheart.

Baby

Understand what?

Earl

Uh... Well, little guy, what happened was... Daddy was put in charge of the world and he didn't take real good care of it. And now, it looks like there won't be much of a world left for you or your brother and sister to live in.

Baby

Are we gonna move?

Earl

Well, no. There's no place to move to. This is the only world we got.

Baby

But, what's gonna happen to us?

Earl

Well, I don't exactly know.

But whatever it is, nobody's gonna leave you.

Charlene

That's right, little guy. We'll all stay together.

Yeah.

Earl

Yeah. Yeah, and hey, I'm sure it'll all work out OK. After all, dinosaurs have been on this Earth for 150 million years. And, it's not like we're going to just...disappear.