Debra Morgan quotes from Dexter

Debra

[To Dexter] What is it about your personal law that is so much better than the one that the rest of us agree to live by?

Debra

Watching ice melt. This is fun.

Vince Masuka

Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.

Angel Batista

I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!

Dexter

Huh?

Vince Masuka

Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.

Debra

Yeah, from vine to vine

Maria LaGuerta

Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

Debra

I'm real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. How are you holding up?

Dexter

I'm managing. [voiceover] No, I'm not. Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours is a real chore.

Debra

The guy's missing body parts because of this Ice-Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me!

That's because men only think with one body part, and that one was not cut off.

Dexter

The Ice-Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies, and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry, on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.

Debra

Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.

Dexter

But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.

Debra

How do you know?

Dexter

[pause] Because it is pathetic.

Debra

[answering Dexter's phone] Morgan here.

Vince

Wait, did I call the hot Morgan by mistake? Freudian. My subconscious has been exposed. [laughs]

Debra

Well, zip it up and tell me what's going on.

Debra

[eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.

Doakes

I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.

Debra

Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.

Doakes

It started out vanilla.

Debra

Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.

Dexter

Okay.

Debra

I'm serious.

Dexter

Okay.

Doakes

She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there!

Dexter

Okay ...

Debra Morgan, will you marry me?

Debra

I knew it, I fucking knew it!

Is that your version of a yes?

You know the one thing I've been dying to ask you? How did you not know who I was? You're a cop.

Debra

This isn't funny.

I think a real cop would at least have a sense she was in the presence of the person she was hunting.

Debra

[sobbing] This isn't you.

Pretty sure it is.

Debra

No, no there's more. I've seen it.

I never wanted to hurt you.

Debra

I know. I know.

[pause] Does this make it easier for you? Because I can keep going.

Dexter

You've been benched?

Debra

Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.

Dexter

Wow... You're chipper

Dexter

I need your help. I know how much you were looking forward to going out tonight, but I think Deb could use you more.

Rita

Dexter, this ... isn't about this morning, is it?

Dexter

No, no! I swear! This is about Deb. She had her first day at work today, and LaGuerta was kind of rough on her.

Debra

Dexter, unlock the door.

Dexter

[to Rita] Hold on. [to Debra] Hold on!

Debra

Dexter, come on! Dexter, open the fucking door!

Dexter

[to Rita] See, she's yelling at me now. Look, I'm no expert, but I think Deb could use some girl time tonight.

Rita

Well, I won't lie. I'm a little disappointed. But, I know your heart's in the right place.

Dexter

Absolutely.

Dexter

I forgot that I had promised to sub for another bowling team.

Debra

Why do you look so happy about it?

Dexter

...I like bowling, what can I say? Look will you take Rita out for me? She hired a babysitter and everything.

Debra

No way, I need to work out.

Dexter

Actually, you need to stop working out. It's getting unhealthy. You should go out for some hard liquor instead.

Debra

[starts running] Sorry bro.

Dexter

Deb, please! When do I ever ask you for anything?

Debra

[stops running] You bung hole. Why did you have to put it that way?

Dexter

She's expecting you in half an hour. You're a life saver!

Debra

Bathroom's all yours.

Dexter

Eh. Kind of always was.