Debra Morgan quotes from Dexter

Debra

What fucking asshole left this here!?

Lundy

It's Special Agent Fucking Asshole. Morgan, right?

Angel

Miami Metro. May we talk to you?

Go to Hell!

Angel

Okay. But, before we do that, ma'am, can I ask you a few questions?

How many is a few?

Debra

Uh, three. But one's a two-parter.

Go away before I call the police!

Debra

We are the fucking police!

I ain't talking to no one with language like that!

Angel

Let's look at the bright side.

Debra

What bright side?

Angel

Karmically, we're batting a thousand. There's something balancing about that kind of consistency.

Debra

I saw some buildings with "for rent" signs. I'm gonna check 'em out. Then, Chez Dexter can return to its original, museum-like quality state.

Dexter

Deb, you don't need to do this.

Debra

Yes, I do.

Dexter

You don't need to do this now.

Debra

Well, what about the video tours of eligible apartments?

Dexter

Temporary insanity.

Debra

You sure?

Dexter

No. Get out.

Debra

It's been 24 hours since I asked to be replaced.

Lundy

... Has it?

Debra

What's taking so long? Every cop on the damn force wants in on this case. Just take your pick.

Lundy

I've been wondering about that, actually. Everyone wants on but, you want off.

Debra

I told you. I have cases.

Lundy

I don't think so.

Debra

Fuck's sake. Jesus, I don't wanna be on your task force, all right?

Lundy

Why?

Debra

Because I'm the last person in the world that should be on it. You want me to find a serial killer? I was engaged to one, for Christ's sake. What kind of cop – what kind of –

Lundy

That's why I chose you, you know. Because of what you went through. You survived. I don't know how. I can't begin to imagine the strength it took. Continues to take. More than that, you got a first hand look into the mind and heart of a killer. And you're still here. If you can accept that – really accept it – you could use it. Mix that with some of your strength and you can catch someone even worse than the Ice Truck Killer. But you have to stop running. Finish today's interviews. And if you still want out, you got it.

Angel

Why did the killer cut 'em up like this?

Masuka

Easy disposal.

Debra

Or for fun. You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it because you like it.

Debra

What's it gonna be tonight? Chinese? Italian?

Lundy

Actually, I have a social appointment.

Debra

You mean, like, a date?

Lundy

I guess you could call it that.

Debra

Wow. Look at you. New in town, and already hooking up.

Lundy

It's an introduction arranged by a friend. One needs to get out and have a little fun on occasion. It's something I strongly recommend for you as well.

Debra

Yeah, but the hours we work ...

Lundy

I'm serious. Make time for it. It'll help keep you better balanced.

Debra

Yes, sir.

Oh, you're into the kinky stuff, huh?

Debra

No. The last guy I had sex with tried to kill me.

Dexter

Morning.

Debra

So, that was a little weird last night.

Dexter

No – yeah – well, it was dark. My eyes hadn't adjusted. All I could see were shadows.

Debra

Well, please put those shadows out of your mind.

Debra

So, how'd your social appointment go last night?

Lundy

Oh. You know.

Debra

I took your advice.

Lundy

My advice?

Debra

Go out. Have some fun. Got laid. Big time.

Lundy

Oh. Well.

Debra

Oh. I mean, I don't usually go out to the gym and pick up strangers.

Lundy

The gym? [laughs]

Debra

Really, you have to save me here, or I'm gonna go outside and shoot myself.

Lundy

And the way you're going, you'd probably miss.

Debra

... Thanks.

Lundy

My date was horrible. I picked her up, and I don't know Miami, of course, and I got completely lost, and she was chattering away the whole time about this Yogi master I just have to meet so by the time we even got to the restaurant I was tearing my hair out.

Debra

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

Lundy

No, it was good. It was a reminder that, uh, I shouldn't be dating.

Debra

'Course you should be.

Lundy

No. It all comes down to simple mathematics. A really beautiful relationship is a once in a lifetime thing. And I've already had mine.

Dexter

[voiceover: "Who is the Bay Harbor Butcher?" This obsession with him is relentless. Just like Deb and that damn treadmill.] Deb, do you ever stop!?

Debra

Dexter! You're supposed to be at Rita's!

Dexter

Ah! Sorry! [hurriedly leaves]

Debra

Fuck.

Debra

[drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good.

Dexter

Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra

If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.

Dexter

[voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter

My little sister, the cuddler.

Debra

I have a scalding hot beverage here, Dex, don't make me use it.

Debra

Who's the skank?

Dexter

Deb, did knocking occur to you?

Debra

Who is she? And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?

Dexter

Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs

Lila

Did somebody drink all the coffee again?

Debra

No, somebody didn't drink all the coffee. I had a cup and Dexter had a cup, and it just kinda went like that until the [imitating Lila's British accent] pot was empty.

Dexter

Deb ...

Debra

What? Somebody didn't drink all the coffee. It's a stupid question.