"We're not inviting you to poker, we're not talking to you, we're not even gonna wave when you jog by. From now on, you are invisible" (Talking to Edie)
S4Mother Said
S4The Gun Song
I'm in jail 'cause of Kayla, your daughter, Tom!
You're doing great honey, just keep breathing. How close are the contractions?
A few weeks apart... wanna go to the movies?
What?
I'm not in labor, ok?
But y-your water broke. I saw it!
It was club soda. Amniotic fluid doesn't have ice cubes and a lemon wedge.
[The children sneak into Lynette's room while she's asleep]
PPParker, Preston, and Porter Scavo
Happy Mother's Day!
Oh my gosh, that is so sweet, thank you.
[Porter gives her a breafast in bed tray with breakfast on it]
We're gonna go get your present.
I hope you like turtles!
Kayla, I'm really sorry about the way things turned out.
KHKayla Huntington
No, you aren't.
Okay! I'm not.
Don't you dare throw your calligraphy skills in my face when you know I'm at a low point!
Since when do you make waffles?
Well Kayla loves waffles, and since she and I have been having some problems lately, I'm doing something nice for her.
Susan (about her baby's name): Mike insisted that we name him after his dead grandfather.
How did he die? Was he beaten to death because his name was Maynard?
I know. It's terrible but I can't change it now. Mike was so emotional about it.
Well, then appeal to his sense of reason. Maynard doesn't go with the name Delfino. One is German and one is Italian and we all know what happens when those folks get together.
I'm not sure that the World War II argument is going to fly.
Come on, you have to do something. That name is practically abusive.
Yeah, think about your son. People live up to the names they're given. If my parents hadn't named me Gabrielle, who knows if I'd be this pretty?
I guess that's why they didn't name you "Einstein."
So sarcastic but what would you expect from a "Lynette"? (Lynette scoffs) What? If your name was Francesca, you wouldn't have time for sarcasm. You'd be too busy having sex on a vespa.
S4Free
(telling her story to Bree and Wayne) After you left a month ago, I convinced myself you forgot about us. I was wrong.
Katherine (in 1996): How was Dylan? Did she behave herself?
She was an angel. I hope I didn't do something wrong.
Well, your ex-husband was here earlier, but I didn't know that was him until Dylan called him Daddy. I'm sorry I should have called you, but she was so excited. He brought her a doll and a bike. (Katherine and Lily run out of the room.) Katherine, what going on?
(voice over) I was going to run again, but you didn't give me enough time.
Wayne just drove up! Should we call the police?
(calmly) No, let him in.
(voiceover): I knew it was time to face you and let you know you were not welcome in my home, and neither were your gifts.
You Know much I much money I spent looking for you?
I'm sure you had enough to buy liquor by the caseload.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.