Julia quotes from Designing Women

Julia

Here is a quarter for the payphone, Mary Jo. Mother always used to give Suzanne and me a dime to call home in case somebody got too fresh. I don't think Suzanne ever used hers. She eventually used the money to go to Europe.

Julia

I keep a list of people who touch my behind without permission. Some of them have died unnatural and untimely deaths.

Julia

Reese Watson, you gotten so full of yourself up here, we're gonna have to rent a flat-bed truck to get you home!

Julia

I love men, I love this one, but I cannot ignore history. History has shown that in general that it has been the men who have done the raping and the robbing and the killing and the war mongering and for the last 2000 years. It has been the men who have done the pillaging and the beheading the subjecting of whole races into slavery. It has been the men who have done the law making and the money making and most of the mischief making. So if the world isn’t quite what you had in mind, you have only yourselves to thank!!

Julia

Suzanne and I once had a mutual friend named Robert. He was having marital difficulties. Suzanne became his coach. After a few months he became....Roberta.

Julia

I myself have been distinctly pro-labor all my life . . . except for a brief period this morning when a cabbage hit my windshield.

Julia

They've got a hold of Charlene and they're not letting go. This is not a business organization, it's some kind of cult. Some kind of perky cult. Let's face it. Charlene's been kidnapped by the Junies.

Julia

No, Suzanne, we do not think that is silly. The idea of a nice college homecoming queen ceremony, where you yourself would be rooting for a 30 year old black man, seems not only logical, but very dignified.

Julia

I think that I am a member of the majority of the American public who knows this kind of filthy enterprise exists, but doesn't care to have it pushed in my own face, on my own street, thank you very much.

Julia

All right, we will all go in together, because Suzanne NEEDS all of us. And also, there is no way she can cover all four of us with one gun!

Julia

[when a flight attendant refuses to tell her the age of the plane they're flying in] What exactly are they supposed to do, wait for a wing to fall off and count the rings?

Julia

You are the American Consulate, aren't you? I mean, I thought you were supposed to give us shelter or something. No! I don't want the number of the Holiday Inn. Okay. That's it. I want your name right now. Carl Lonias. Okay, Carl. I just want you to know, that when I get back to the United States, I will find you again, and you are going to be punished. You can count on it.

Julia

Anyone can see I don't belong here. I'm just doing the best I can.(calls back the order)

Julia

(to the car dealer after Charlene admits they're desperate) Well, I'm glad that came out, yes I am. You know how badly we need the van, and that's fine, because I like to deal honestly and fairly. Now...we're a group of nuns and we need the van to transport blind orphans....

Julia

Hello? Mr. Trump? I hope I'm not disturbing you. I'm just calling you to say — on behalf of the American public — Mr. Trump, we no longer care who you date, we really don't. You are no longer obligated to alert the news media everytime your pants are on fire because we don't care. So please feel free to fire all your hacks, flacks and publicists employed for this purpose because — and I repeat — we...don't...care! Who am I? Well, you've never met me, but you can just call me....The Julia.