A character in Dead Like Me
Played by Ellen Muth
Dead Like Me · 117 quotes
Most-quoted character in Dead Like Me: in 72 of its 117 quotes
Most scenes with: Rube (17), Mason (11), Daisy (8)
[referring to an old lady that George is about to reap]
How old do you think she is? I'm thinking 70.
GeorgeI don't know. I'm not good at that.
It's not supposed to be good at it, its just a game - Guess someone's age.
GeorgeHow old are you? Like 35?
Yeah, you're not good at it.
(George brings J. D. with her into Der Waffle Haus where she meets Rube, Mason and Daisy.)
What a gorgeous dog.
GeorgeIsn't she?
Is it a golden?
GeorgeYes! She is.
What's its name?
GeorgeJ. D.
[Rube looks underneath J. D.]
J. D.'s a male.
GeorgeYes, she is.
Why you callin' him a she is he's a he?
GeorgeBecause dogs are referred to in the feminine.
In the way some guy would talk about a car?
GeorgeExactly.
As in, she's got eight under the hood, she gets twenty to the gallon?
George... Sure.
Actually, you refer to dogs by their sex. As in, here boy, down girl.
(Daisy and George are talking about J. D. and whether they should let him into their apartment.)
Well, I know this isn't something you care about, but I own some very beautiful clothes.
GeorgeWhat's your point?
He looks like a 'shedder'.
GeorgeHa! That's absolutely something I can live with.
[typing on her computer] Millie...did you put detergent in the dishwasher?
GeorgeUh, no...I thought you did.
Oh, silly us. We'll just have to locate those dishes and wash 'em again.
GeorgeYour computer told you that?
No, silly, "stinky5000" did.
[on how her website operates] I've got a camera there [she waves at the camera], a camera there, a camera there, and a camera there. Not in the bathroom though... [in a conspiratorial tone] people watching me in the potty would just be plain wrong.
George[voiceover] ...As opposed to watching you everywhere else?
GeorgeSo, people actually pay to watch you?
I do get two cents every time someone clicks on but that would go straight to my favorite charity - The American Amputees Association.
George[voiceover] Oh, Christ! My boss has a wooden leg.
I'll show you both, we'll be like Romeo and Juliet. We will.
GeorgeYou do know how that story ended, don't you?
If Romeo had just masturbated a couple of times a week he would have saved both those nice families a heap of trouble.
[Dolores is setting George up for a conference roomful of collating.]
Collating is so Zen, so meditative. I suppose it's the rhythmic nature of repetition that frees the mind to think deep thoughts. It's like sweeping! Whoosh! Do you know where I'm coming from?
George[voiceover] Jupiter?
GeorgeI do.
You'll be amazed to discover how much your busy-bee hands have accomplished!
GeorgeBees don't have hands.
No, they don't, do they? [grinning] But you know who does? You do. And you know what they say about idle hands?
George[voiceover] They'll strangle the person who asked them to collate?
[Roxy gives everyone a balloon]
GeorgeWhat's the occasion?
I'm guessing she had sex with a carnie.
Why do I need to have an occasion to spread the love?
Because you are an ornery bitch and you eat puppy dogs for breakfast.
[At Der Waffle Haus.]
Georgia! Are you wearing a fragrance this morning?
GeorgeIt's orange juice. I hate the bus.
Public transportation is the great equalizer.
GeorgeI don't wanna be equal. Fuck equal.
Steal a car.
What about a bicycle? I once had Dorothy's original bike from The Wizard of Oz. I knew someone from the props department.
Don't you mean you blew somebody in the props department?
Knew, blew, tomato, tomahto. Once baby Judy died, I didn't want to ride it anymore, so I sold at an auction.
Speakin' of death, let's get to work. (Hands out post-its.)
[George is at Happy Time discussing her new job.]
I'm not certain I'm understanding you, Millie. You've already contacted the employer--
GeorgeUh, I didn't. Um, Josh called them.
Who is Jo- never mind. What did the employer say?
GeorgeYes.
Yes what?
GeorgeHe said, 'Yes, I'm hired.' I didn't do anything. Josh did everything.
Does Josh know you're a valued employee of Happy Time?
GeorgeThat's very nice of you, Dolores, but I thought I'd just look for something a little more 'living wage-ish'. Like, I wanna buy a bike.
Well, I wanna ride in the Kentucky Derby, but you don't see me in racing silks, do you? Tsk. Well, when do they want you to begin?
GeorgeTomorrow.
Tomorrow?! Aha. Interesting. Well, G. F. Y... Good for you! Looks like I've got a going away party to organize. Excuse me.
George[voiceover] G. F. M. Good for me!
[George is sitting out of her going away party and Stephanie walks up to her and whispers something]
GeorgeOh, no thank you.
It's no big deal. It's just a little tab you put on your tongue.
GeorgeYou know, I feel my current reality is altered enough.
[Stephanie nods]
I did one.
GeorgeG. F. Y.!
[Stephanie hugs George making George feel violated]
Let's look out for each other today, okay?
GeorgeOkay.
[George walks into an office to find Stephanie hiding]
George[voiceover] It turns out that certain remarks like, 'Let's look out for each other,' which seemed casual and meaningless had a special significance here at Happy Time.
[Stephanie is under a desk rummaging through trash.]
Fuck. I can't find it. I can't find it.
GeorgeStephanie?
I can't- I can't find it.
GeorgeYou can't find what?
Blue! Red's taken it over!
GeorgeRed's got blue?
Red's been attacking all the colors! We gotta stop it!
GeorgeWe do?
Yellow's next. It doesn't stand a chance! Poor yellow.
GeorgeWhy don't we go for a walk?
Nope! No walking!
GeorgeI'm going to call the Color Police. [She picks up the phone] I'd like to report a color crime in progress. [To Stephanie] I'm on hold.
[Rube walks over to Mason and George sneaks a peak at Rube's post-it.]
George[To Rube] It's 3851 Beatrice Lane!
It's not your post-it.
GeorgeThat's my old house! That's where my family is!
I'm aware.
GeorgeWha- who is it?!
It's not your post-it. There are rules, Georgia.
GeorgeWhat is going to happen in my driveway?
It's not your driveway anymore.
GeorgeYou know what I mean.
I do. It's not your driveway anyway.
GeorgeWell, then. I'm coming with you.
That's not going to happen.
GeorgeSomeone dies, at my house, and you don't tell me about it?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!
[Talking about Rube's flashbacks of George]
GeorgeYou have a problem with me?
Yes, ma'am, I do. And one thing you should know about me by now, I am a problem solver.
GeorgeHow do I put this delicately?
[To the test-takers] Does this concern you? [To George] Try and choose your words carefully.
[George nods and is very angry.]
GeorgeBlow me.
[George walks away.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Like Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
