A character in Dead Like Me
Dolores
Dead Like Me · 117 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Dead Like Me: in 9 of its 117 quotes
Most scenes with: George (6)
[An aggressively cheery middle-aged woman approaches the morose George.]
Hi, I'm Dolores Herbig… as in "her big…"
[She points to her eyes, grinning.]
"… brown eyes?" I'll be your Happy Time career counselor.
You know, when you're young like you are, Millie, it's easy. Man, woman, bottom, top… sex is this big buffet, and you're just a… fat man with a fork, but… as you get older, it's harder to get a fork.
[Tending to a heart attack victim, Dolores discovers the office defibrillator has orange goo between the paddles.]
Who has been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibrillator paddles?
Some college, huh? Didn't finish?
Some seemed like enough.
I was just calling you, to see if there was anything I could do to help.
[voiceover] I became aware of the words only after they left my mouth.
I like the way you show initiative, Millie. I like it a lot. I'd better watch my back, pretty soon you'll have my job.
Only after you get a promotion.
Oh.
[voiceover] I felt dirty.
[Dolores is setting George up for a conference roomful of collating.]
Collating is so Zen, so meditative. I suppose it's the rhythmic nature of repetition that frees the mind to think deep thoughts. It's like sweeping! Whoosh! Do you know where I'm coming from?
[voiceover] Jupiter?
I do.
You'll be amazed to discover how much your busy-bee hands have accomplished!
Bees don't have hands.
No, they don't, do they? [grinning] But you know who does? You do. And you know what they say about idle hands?
[voiceover] They'll strangle the person who asked them to collate?
[George is at Happy Time discussing her new job.]
I'm not certain I'm understanding you, Millie. You've already contacted the employer--
Uh, I didn't. Um, Josh called them.
Who is Jo- never mind. What did the employer say?
Yes.
Yes what?
He said, 'Yes, I'm hired.' I didn't do anything. Josh did everything.
Does Josh know you're a valued employee of Happy Time?
That's very nice of you, Dolores, but I thought I'd just look for something a little more 'living wage-ish'. Like, I wanna buy a bike.
Well, I wanna ride in the Kentucky Derby, but you don't see me in racing silks, do you? Tsk. Well, when do they want you to begin?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow?! Aha. Interesting. Well, G. F. Y... Good for you! Looks like I've got a going away party to organize. Excuse me.
[voiceover] G. F. M. Good for me!
[Crystal and George/Millie are chuckling over a digestively challenged applicant. Dolores is unamused.]
Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a serious affliction. Most people don't know this, but Marilyn Monroe had IBS.
Is that what blew her skirt up?
[Dolores has just given George a new assignment to pick an applicant for a new pharmaceutical company account]
Backup. Did you just say choose, me?
No I said, "You choose." You're in a new position now. You're like, the prettiest girl at prom, or the sluttiest girl if you went to Catholic school. You get to pick.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Like Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
