Dead Like Me · Season 1, Episode 8
[Casey the waitress brings the reapers' order to the table, setting plates before Rube and George]
[gesturing at his plate] What fresh hell is this?
Corned beef hash and eggs.
Corned beef hash, I speak not only for myself but aficionados of the dish, is to be fried, with a crisp exterior. This is...I don't know what this is. I'm flummoxed.
It doesn't look good.
I do not say this phrase lightly, in this hallowed place: This is fucking inedible.
Bang, another man down.
[referring to an old lady that George is about to reap]
How old do you think she is? I'm thinking 70.
I don't know. I'm not good at that.
It's not supposed to be good at it, its just a game - Guess someone's age.
How old are you? Like 35?
Yeah, you're not good at it.
(George brings J. D. with her into Der Waffle Haus where she meets Rube, Mason and Daisy.)
What a gorgeous dog.
Isn't she?
Is it a golden?
Yes! She is.
What's its name?
J. D.
[Rube looks underneath J. D.]
J. D.'s a male.
Yes, she is.
Why you callin' him a she is he's a he?
Because dogs are referred to in the feminine.
In the way some guy would talk about a car?
Exactly.
As in, she's got eight under the hood, she gets twenty to the gallon?
... Sure.
Actually, you refer to dogs by their sex. As in, here boy, down girl.
(Daisy and George are talking about J. D. and whether they should let him into their apartment.)
Well, I know this isn't something you care about, but I own some very beautiful clothes.
What's your point?
He looks like a 'shedder'.
Ha! That's absolutely something I can live with.
The homeless are desperate, passionate lovers, but they will rob you blind.
[typing on her computer] Millie...did you put detergent in the dishwasher?
Uh, no...I thought you did.
Oh, silly us. We'll just have to locate those dishes and wash 'em again.
Your computer told you that?
No, silly, "stinky5000" did.
[on how her website operates] I've got a camera there [she waves at the camera], a camera there, a camera there, and a camera there. Not in the bathroom though... [in a conspiratorial tone] people watching me in the potty would just be plain wrong.
[voiceover] ...As opposed to watching you everywhere else?
[On the name of her website] I was going to call it "Her Big" Website, but I was afraid I'd attract people with [indicates with her fingers] a fetish for big things.
So, people actually pay to watch you?
I do get two cents every time someone clicks on but that would go straight to my favorite charity - The American Amputees Association.
[voiceover] Oh, Christ! My boss has a wooden leg.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Like Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
