Pacey Witter quotes from Dawson's Creek

Pacey

So do you think you can stop throwing basketballs at my face now, Dawson? I think it's glaringly obvious that I'm not going to steal your girlfriend. I mean, at least you have a girlfriend. I've got nothing left.

Abby

You have your hand.

Pacey

How do I look?

Joey

Like a before picture in an ad for geek remover.

Pacey

You're a regular Richie Cunningham. Billy, he's the Fonz.

Dawson

Congratulations, that makes you Potsie.

Pacey

[to a teacher, about Joey] You never told me I was gonna be working with a repressed, control freak.

Joey

[to a teacher, about Pacey] Yeah, and you never said my grade was dependent upon some remedial underachiever.

Pacey

You know, it's amazing, personality like yours and you still can't get any dates.

Joey

Even more amazing, personality like yours and you can.

Pacey

You know, a lot of people would consider you a very lucky woman.

Joey

And many people would consider you a very deluded man.

Joey

What? What's that smile of yours? Is it because I look ridiculous?

Pacey

No

Joey

Or is it that my misfortune amuses you? Or maybe it's because you like putting me in the most awkward situations and watching me squirm Pacey.

Pacey

No it's nothing like that. I was just thinking to myself that when you loosen up you're not half bad to be around... bordering on fun even.

Joey

[looks confused and then smiles] Home, Jeeves!

Pacey

Yes, Miss Daisy.

Pacey

Can you watch the car, Jo?

Joey

Why?

Pacey

Well... I can't really turn it off. I mean, I can, but it's a hassle, you know, because I don't have the keys.

Joey

Oh, yeah. I forget. You stole it.

Pacey

Hey, you borrow from family. You never steal.

Pacey

You know, maybe I could be like one of those guys that warms up the girls before they go on stage.

Joey

It's not a porno, Pacey.

Pacey Witter has changed his program. Instead of a magical act he will perform a dramatic interpretation.

Pacey

[in a Scottish accent] Well, I'm not William Wallace. But I am Pacey Witter.

Dawson

[from offstage] Pacey Witter's seven feet tall.

Pacey

So they say. So they say. And they say that this Pacey Witter is a dangerous man who slaughters Capeside residents by the dozen with his bare hands. And if he were here he would destroy those who would judge him with sparks from his eyes and wits from his ass.

Pacey

Well, I am Pacey Witter. But who of you are in the position to judge me? Is it you, sir? And what sorts of human beings tolerate being judged? Well judgement stops today. And that which condones me, seems to own me. And I am willing to betray the trappings of my dysfunctional life for one chance, just one chance, to stand in front of my fellow countrymen and tell them that you may take my life, but you will never take my freedom!!! Thank you and goodnight.

Pacey

So what? I mean at least she didn't tell you that the sight of you gives her dry heaves or that you're a self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish...

Dawson

Yeah, but she obviously has opinions about me that she hasn't been honest about. She said I was a..a talentless dreamer with no cinematic future.

Pacey

Okay, no offense, Dawson, but I don't think anybody cares.

Dawson

I care. And Pacey I could honestly use some advice here.

Pacey

Oh, you want some advice? How about this? Your life is not that interesting.

Dawson

What?

Pacey

You know I am so sick and tired of hearing about you and Joey's boring little mini dramas I'm going to start tearing out my fingernails for relief. Get over yourself, Dawson! Deal.

Andie

I want a divorce.

Pacey

Granted. You know what, we split the cash. You can have the kids. I'll keep the car.

Andie

That is so typical, doesn't it sicken you that you're living up to the most common and base of male stereotypes? You don't care about your wife and kids; all you care about is this overpriced absurd piece of metal.

Pacey

Hey, it's got passenger side airbags! Look, I want a Viper, end of story.

Pacey

This is just one assignment. Its not like your flunking out of school.

Andie

Yeah, I know that. But you get behind by one day, and then you're always struggling to catch up. And you become more and more confused, and then the next thing you know, you're out on the streets drunk and pulling around a shopping cart.

Pacey

Andie, you're rich. Rich people don't end up on the street. They end up in Florida.

Pacey

Is Andie on any kind of special medication? Because she just went psycho on me.

Jack

Why, what'd you do?

Pacey

Oh, nothing. I just called her a spoiled princess.

Jack

Andie, a spoiled princess? I don't think anything could be further from the truth.

Pacey

Oh, come on. Are you telling me your family's not totally loaded?

Jack

You think I work here for kicks?

Pacey

Listen, I know it's over. It has to be, but I just need to know... Do you miss, um, teaching.

Yes. Very much.

Pacey

Good, because I miss you teaching. Very much.