Pacey Witter quotes from Dawson's Creek

Pacey

I just wanted these people to see you through my eyes for one night. To see this girl. This woman, who has more class and intelligence and beauty and grace then anyone else who's walking the face of the planet. Maybe things like this just come tumbling out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you. But the really scary thing is, I think that they're true.

Pacey

Do you want to know what I'm scared of? 'Cause I'm not scared of whether or not we sleep together, if-- if and when you and I decide to do that, it will be right. What I am scared of is that little piece of your heart that will always belong to Dawson Leery. OK, I'm scared of that piece of your heart that always envisioned your first time being with him. I'm scared of that part of you that just doesn't want it to be me. That's what I'm scared of.

Pacey

[To Charlie] And I just got tired of hating you so intensely, but make no mistake if you do anything to hurt Joey, I will make you regret it for the rest of your waking days.

Pacey

[over the intercom] Audrey, it's me. Look, I don't know if you can hear me right now but if you can, please don't get on that plane, please. Or you know what, if you do get on that plane, its fine because all you’re gonna make me do is make me drive across country and hang out in front of your parent’s Beverly Hills mansion until you talk to me. Because I have to tell you that I am really, truly sorry for everything, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t completely truthful with you and I’m sorry for my predilection for the company of older women. It’s just that this has been a really strange year for me Audrey, because while the rest of you guys are off to in the whole college thing, I was just doing my best to stay afloat. And believe me, nobody is handing out road maps for the road less traveled, you just kinda got to get on and start driving. But ultimately, the only thing that I’m gonna take away from this year and the only thing that I’m gonna remember is you, because you are amazing Audrey. And you came along at the time when I thought all the big loves of my life are behind me, and you just rock my world. And I know that you and I don’t actually even know each other that well yet but, I’m sure that I could live without you, I’m just not sure that I want too, Audrey, so that’s it. Uh, that’s it. That’s my pitch. So, peace out everybody. Free the West Memphis Three.

Pacey

[on the televisions] Is this thing on? Ok, well...ahem. Hey...it's me... obviously. So if you could just step a little closer, and don't worry, I'm not gonna bite. I come in peace. Look...you and I... we're gonna be here for a while. For quite a while, it seems. So I think it would be best if we could come to some sort of truce. And to facilitate this truce, I'm willing to admit to you on camera that, yes, indeed, I am an ass, which you probably already know. Better than most people. And perhaps better than anyone on earth. But I digress. My proposal is this: That we leave the past in the past, which is where it belongs anyway, that we try and make the best out of this bad situation, and that we get comfortable. To wit--I bought you something. Well, I didn't really buy you something. Perhaps procured would be a better word, but...anyway, you get my point. It's down there on the counter. [She looks over and sees that he put a set of pajamas and slippers on the counter] I'm not so sure about the sizes anymore, 'cause it's been a while, but... we can always exchange it. And, if you accept my proposal, you will have at your disposal for a limited time only the ability to make me do one thing I really do not want to do. Which is not to say that you don't always have that ability, but I kinda figure that that's how this whole night from hell started. You were doing something for me that you really didn't want to do... which is what friends are for. Ok. Over and out.

Pacey

Good morning, gentlemen. I had sex with a beautiful woman last night. Now, this should not have happened. She was way out of my league, and I even like to think that I'm a fairly handsome guy, but I'm not that handsome, and I like to think that I'm pretty good in bed, but I'm not that good. How does something like that happen? I'll tell you. I'm 20 years old, and I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. I am making money... hand over fist... faster than I know how to spend it. And let's tell the truth. You all came here today because you're trying to escape the miserable bottom-feeding existence that you've been living that has denied you what is rightfully yours. If you want this for yourselves, you can have it. But I'm here to tell you, you will get your asses kicked on a daily basis, but you will learn. And ultimately, you will do what you were put on this earth to do, which is make money. Now, if any of you are still interested in this proposition, be here 9 A.M. Sharp Monday morning. If you are late, do not come into my building. Turn around, go home, and prepare yourselves for a life in retail. I'll see you then.

Pacey

[about Jen] You think she's a virgin? Wanna nail her?

Dawson

We just met!

Pacey

And a wasted moment it was. I mean greater men would be nailing right now, you know what I mean?

Dawson

Tact, Pacey, look it up.

Pacey

It's a crock. The truth is you're a well put together, knockout of a woman who's feeling a little insecure about hitting forty. So when a young, virile boy, such as myself flirts with you, you enjoy it. You entice it. You fantasize about what it would be like to be with that young boy on the verge of manhood. 'Cause it helps you stay feeling attractive. Makes the aging process a little more bearable. Well, let me tell you something. You blew it, lady. Because I'm the best sex you'll never have.

You're wrong about one thing, Pacey. You're not a boy.

Joey

[to Pacey] And what do you want?

Pacey

Actually something a little sexy would be good, I gotta a maybe sorta date this evening.

Joey

Hmm, who's the lucky farm animal tonight?

Pacey

Ahh, what's that, what's that stuff that makes a woman horny?

Joey

Your polar opposite?

Dawson

You mean oysters.

Pacey

Right, oysters. A dozen oysters, Joey, pack 'em up.

Pacey

Could it be? Joey's finally noticing the opposite sex!

Joey

Shut up!

Pacey

Uh, excuse me, young man! This woman here thinks you're very attractive!

Joey

[Trying to shut him up] You butt plug!

Pacey

Forget it, Joey. Guys off yachts don't go for waitresses. Huh?

Joey

I'm going to kill you. One night in your sleep, a slit throat maybe or a screwdriver to your temple. Be ready.

Go home, Pacey. You need to find a girl your own age. Not some insane middle-aged woman.

Pacey

Please, Tamara.

Please, no buts. This can't go one second further, it's beyond wrong. You have to understand that.

Pacey

You keep saying how it's wrong. And maybe it is. But just to set the record straight, I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing.

Joey

Hey, jailbait.

Pacey

Feel free to keep on walking. I won't think you're rude.

Joey

Look, despite first impressions, I'm not here to bust on you. I don't know if the rumors are true or exaggerated. Or if this is one of your bizarre attempts to appear more attractive to the senior girls. But I just wanted to say I know what you must be going through, and...

Pacey

[laughs] No. I really doubt you know what I'm going through.

Joey

Well let me see. People stare at you when you walk down the hall, we've seen that. They whisper behind your back. You suddenly overhear your name in a conversation of strangers. And pretty soon a justifiable paranoia sets in and whether they are or not, you are convinced that everyone is talking about you. Imagine if you had done something even worse.

Pacey

Like what?

Joey

Like sharing a house with your pregnant unwed sister and her black boyfriend, while your father serves time on a drug conviction. Imagine that, Pacey. We actually have something in common... Providing gossip for the small-minded townsfolk. And unfortunately for you, you're tonight's top story.

Pacey

Great. So, what do I do now?

Joey

Same thing I did... You pray like hell for a better story to come along.

Pacey

Look I don't mean any disrespect here. But, if you'll just give me a second, I'll have you all home for dinner. OK? Look, I know the origin of these rumors has been traced to me. And, ah I guess that would make sense. 'Cause look at me, here I am a C+ student, who sits in the back of Ms. Jacobs English class everyday, daydreaming about the same thing. About, what it would be like to be... a little bit better looking, a little more sophisticated and about 15 years older. 'Cause, then and only then, could Ms. Jacobs possibly look at me as anything other than just another one of her students. And, only then, could this rumor stand any chance of being true. Ah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I am flattered with the seriousness that you took these allegations, but you know personally I'd just chalked them up to adolescent fantasy. I kind of expected you guys to do the same.

Correct me if I'm wrong Mr. Witter, but for the record, are you saying you deny the aforementioned allegations?

Pacey

Yeah, for the record, sir. And for anywhere else you want to put it. Ms. Jacobs is my English teacher and to my great disappointment absolutely nothing else.

Dawson

This is so Breakfast Club.

Jen

Breakfast Club?

Dawson

Yeah that John Hughes movie where the five kids are stuck in detention all day.

Joey

Yeah at first they hate each other and then they become really, really good friends.

Jen

Oh yeah that movie stunk. Whatever happened to those actors?

Dawson

Anthony Michael Hall developed some weird thyroid condition, Molly Ringwald lost her gawky teen ingenue appeal, and the rest are languishing somewhere in TV obscurity.

Pacey

No way! Emilio Estevez! He was in those Duck movies, remember? God, those were classics, so funny....[pause] What?

Abby

I'm so bored.

Pacey

Well, where's your ecstasy Abby? You and I can just go on down to the boy's locker room and you know...

Abby

I don't have any left and if I did I wouldn't waste it on Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.

Pacey

What? You're not going to let Rudolph join in any of your perverted reindeer games?

Abby

Hey now there's an idea, games. We could all play a game.

Pacey

Really? What do you want to play? Pin the tail on the ho-bag?