Charlie quotes from Dawson's Creek

Charlie

[to Joey] No, I was going to say that I want to take you into the bathroom and do ungodly things to you.

Jen

I just have a hard time believing that same person who has Licensed to Ill, also has Volume 2 of the essential Dolly Parton collection.

Charlie

Give me that.

Jen

And why is it so important to you that I listen to this song?

Charlie

Because, once you hear Dolly Parton’s original 1974 recording of I’ll Always Love You, the song made popular and sucky on the Bodyguard soundtrack, you will truly and possibly for the first time in your entire life, know what it means not to suck. And at that point, your entire universe will turn upside down. Everything that used to seem normal to you, will suddenly seem right.

Jen

And that is a good thing?

Charlie

Of course it's a good thing. What is music for, if not to subvert all your expectations and blow your mind every once in a while?

Jen

Well, I thought that was what people were for.

Charlie

What?

Jen

Nothing, I, I just can’t believe you like country music.

Charlie

Well, I like all kinds of music, unlike you who’s obviously very cynical and very closed minded. It’s probably one of those upper middle class, heavy television, freaky batgirls that drive around town in their father’s old Volvo.

Jen

I came here from a small town, I like to knit, and I live with my grandmother.

Charlie

Works for me.

Charlie

Man, you have managed to land two of the most high maintenance women I have ever met. How did you do it?

Pacey

High maintenance is just another way of saying high quality.

Joey

So tell me. Does this sort of thing actually work?

Charlie

I wouldn't know. I'm not like the rest of these pre-epoch Neanderthals in this place.

Joey

No?

Charlie

I've never done this before.

Joey

Really?

Charlie

Yeah.

Joey

So, you must've used a different tact with Jen Lindley, huh?

Charlie

Hmm. Joey, the smart girl from Worthington.

Joey

Charlie, womanizer from Boston bay.

Pacey

So what is the name of this place we're going to, anyway?

Charlie

Uh, the 'Drunk and the Dead.'

Pacey

Oh, that sounds like a nice family joint.

Charlie

I think I dreamt this once.

Joey

What are you talking about?

Charlie

You, me, a big backseat.

Joey

This backseat has no implications.

Charlie

Hey, I didn't say that it did.

Joey

This is strictly business.

Charlie

All my backseat transactions are.

Charlie

I was hoping that maybe you might let me sit next to you, and then, possibly, if I just sat there, then, maybe... whatever happened to make you like me, well, maybe it could happen again.

Joey

Don't get your hopes up.

Charlie

[chuckles] Too late.

Joey

You're thinking that I'm the most attractive and formidable woman you've ever been in the same room with. Though you're terrified of rejection, you like me and you want to take me out on a proper date.

Charlie

I do wanna ask you out. Very much. Very, very much. And, you know, you... [chuckles] ...you... you make me nervous.

Joey

I know I do.

Charlie

Look, I would be happy to stop calling. Just tell me where you are.

Joey

I'm in your dreams, Charlie Todd.

Charlie

See, now, wait a second. That sounded suspiciously like flirting to me.

Joey

Maybe... and this is what a dial tone sounds like. [Hangs up on him]

Joey

[Answering her phone] Hello?

Charlie

Hello gorgeous.

Joey

So, I was beginning to worry. You haven't called for 3 hours.

Charlie

Oh, so you do like my calling.

Joey

What do you want, exactly?

Charlie

Nothing, really. Just your address.

Joey

No problem. I'm at 359 No-Way-in-Hell Avenue on the corner of Get-Over-It and Main.

Joey

The point is, I wasn't there for everyday of your life up until now and you weren't here for everyday of mine.

Charlie

This is supposed to be a good thing?

Joey

Living without the weight of eighteen years of expectations, yes it's a good thing.

Joey

I do not drool.

Charlie

...like a basset hound.

Joey

I do not drool and if you tell anyone I do, then I'll just mention how you moan in your sleep about your mom taking away your Barbie dolls.

Charlie

Ok, I didn't—

Joey

Only for about 20 minutes.

Charlie

In that case, I saw no drool.