It's my fault we're all... doomed and junk.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Oh, dear! The killer insects are menacing my beloved family!
DBDumb Beetle
Is it just me, or does The Great Destructor seem smaller in person?
DBDumber Beetle
Maybe we's bigger in person.
You want me to beat up your friend, Cheesette, because she gave you a fishclock?
For my birthday! Can you imagine!? She knew I wanted a cute top to go with all the other cute things I have that make me look cute!
Hey, why don't you just buy her something super nice, and make her feel really guilty?
I like it! And it allows me to punish her by using my awesome shopping powers!
[Dave shows off his clockwork model of Udrogoth.]
Yeah, but it's broken. It's supposed to fly around shooting out colored lights and playing, "I'm a Yankee Doodle Barbarian".
[Fang asks a Creepy Old Guy if he knows how to get to the Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping.]
COCreepy Old Guy
Aye, that I do. Ye must cross the Gorge of Agony, where a mighty beast awaits to tear ye limb from limb. From there, ye climb the Mountain of Thousand Screams, which nay a man has never faced and lived to tell the tale! Or ye could take the shuttle.
Uh... Thanks.
[Upon arriving at a small village, Dave is quickly beaten up by guards.]
I warned you. No one wants to hear poems about a fluffy throw pillow.
[Oswidge and Fang discuss what might be wrong with Dave.]
On the other hand, Dave might simply be unhinged. In which case, all we have to do is restrain him in a pitch-black dungeon for countless years until he snaps out of it.
[Bogmelon demonstrates a Beaver Leg Shaving device to Candy.]
It also works on armpits!
Twinkle the Marvel Horse!
Twinkle, my flying steed! I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a while...
I've been... So lonely, in here. Such terrible thoughts one has, alone, in the dark.
Uh, like I said, I'm real sorry I haven't visited you for a while.
It's not important! No one cares about me! They think to mock, and belittle Twinkle the Marvel Horse, do they? Well it is they, they, who will suffer!
I had that... dream again. The one, where I do terrible things, to penguins, with a croquet mallet.
Don't think I've forgotten the most important thing: there's still fudge on the agenda!
[Fang, Oswidge, and Clockwork Mecha-Dave go into Chuckles' evil lair.]
Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money.
[Chuckles is interrupted by a customer.]
SGShoppin' Gal
Do you have Junior Ms. Body Armor?
Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.
Let's get this over with so we can have fudge!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.