[Dave volunteers to help Candy get a hat.]
Oh! I can help with that! I love hats! Whaddya need? A cap? A derby? A plumed velvet tricorne with satin trim and those little sparkly dangly bits that hang down, they're all dangly and sparkly and-
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I call upon thee to summon images of Throktar and Glimia, wheresoever they may be!
CSCauldron of Summoning
Please deposit ten drekles for the first five minutes.
Great. Just great. How's plan everything going?
We destroyed the evil citadel of Naccar the Obliterator yesterday.
They had a lovely gift shop. We got you a spoon!
Whoops, gotta go. Giant man-eating cockroaches have come to rip out our entrails.
[The Royal Family enters the Desert of Peculiar Smells.]
Smells kinda like a cross between rotten bananas and being hit in the face with a shovel.
The Dark Lord…
Chuckles the Silly Piggy! [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy looks around and started to laugh] Hey. Cut it out. [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy continues laughing] Cut it out, cut it out, cut it out, cut it out! I'm the master of evil! The master of evil! I can't help it if I have an adorably curly little tail.
[Chuckles the Silly Piggy summons a sand monster.]
And now, my fiendish sand monster shall destroy- I, I'm, I'm sorry, but are you chewing gum while I'm delivering my villainous threats? That is so rude! Spit it out, little mister!
[Dave runs away from the sand monster, accidentally running around the entire world.]
PBPolar Bear
If it ain't fish, I'm not interested.
My enchanted sword will change your tune, villain!
What? What are you looking at? What? What!?
I guess I was hoping for, I don't know, like some kind of magical energy blast?
And you couldn't say something!? What am I, a mind reader!?
[Lula shoots a magical energy blast at Chuckles, who shoots an energy blast from his amulet.]
Ha! It seems we are evenly matched!
Not really. Mine's still set on low. Bye-bye! [He turns a dial on the amulet to "high".] You shall perish beneath the might of my mighty... Mightiness!
[Thinking.] Why is it so echo-y inside my head?
THThroktar Hallucination
I'm just a hallucination brought on by stress! Well, gotta go! The annual hallucination costume party's tonight. [Disappears, then reappears in a tutu, laughing.] I'm going as a fairy princess!
Normally, I hate pathetic grovelling. But on you, it worked.
I'll give you anything. Look, using my world-renowned artistry, I've made you this origami hat!
Oooh, I love that! And with antlers! Very fetching!
I'm not a moose! I'm a pig wearing an origami hat with antlers!
MEMoose-Eating Thunder Hawk
Yeah, yeah, I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that story.
[Candy asks for fashion advice from Fang.]
I don't give a rabid weasel's snout what you wear to some stupid dance.
You don't understand! One fashion mistake, and the other girls will rip me to shreds!
Cool!
No, I mean, really, rip me to shreds.
Cooooool!
I just heard I'm going to emcee the ball! And the emcee always eats first! [Licks lips.] They're gonna have those nutlogs I like!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.