Gosalyn Mallard quotes from Darkwing Duck

Drake

Gosalyn, I've told you before: it's a Christmas tradition to open your presents on Christmas morning.

Gosalyn

Oh no. Please, please don't make me wait that long! I'll never make it! It's no use! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Drake

It's tomorrow morning.

Drake

Gosalyn, get me out of here!

Gosalyn

What's the magic word?

Drake

Grounded.

Gosalyn

[annoyed] Launchpad, the daisy already ran away!

Launchpad

Oh. [chuckles sheepishly] Whoops. I'll bet the view's great up there.

Darkwing

Oh, what a day. I'm dead on my feet.

Darkwing

Launchpad, Gosalyn, what's wrong? Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart? Bad grades, sad movie, Launchpad cooked dinner?

Launchpad

Oh, D.W.! It worked.

Darkwing

Yes, yes, you called?

Launchpad

Now for the question, If I sounded like a ghost, How will we ever get along without him?

Darkwing

Without who? What are you talking about?

Gosalyn

Oh, Launchpad...I can't believe he's...gone!

Darkwing

Gosalyn, honey, I'm right here, in the pink! Well, light pink, anyway.

Launchpad

It's like I can almost still hear him!

Darkwing

Almost! If I yell any louder, I'll rupture something!

Darkwing

Something's happened to me. I don't know what, but I need your help.

Launchpad

You don't need help, D.W.; you need an undertaker!

Darkwing

Let's get one thing straight. I am not dead!

Gosalyn

But Dad, if you're not dead, what are you?

I am the terror that hunts in the night! I am the jackal that gnaws at your bones! [he fires near the 'perpetrator' and singsongs] I'm not finished. [normal again] I am... Darkwarrior Duck! Maybe a year in the pen will teach you to use a crosswalk, jaywalker!

Gosalyn

[shocked] Dad?!

Quackerjack

[nervously] He does that to jaywalkers? [as Mr. Banana Brain] And you thought your insurance premiums were high now.

Megavolt

[nervously] What would he do to real criminals?

Quackerjack

[as Mr. Banana Brain] Let's not stick around to find out, scout! [normal voice] Back to the Time Top!

Gosalyn

Maybe Dad's just having a bad day. [winces at the explosions] A really bad day...

A stint a solitary oughta teach him some respect for traffic laws!

But-but-but, what about my right to a trial?

[grabs him by the collar, angrily] Are you saying a jury wouldn't TAKE MY WORD?!

[frightened] N-no, sir! Not at all, sir!

Subject with bad haircut reported at corner of Lankershim and Magnolia.

So, another criminal coiffure endangering the sensibilities of decent citizens! And I bet he has dandruff, too.

Gosalyn

Wait, Dad! It's me!

Quackerjack

[panting] That duck's even crazier than we are!

Extreme parking violation. Darkwarrior civil code requires impounding vechicle and incarcerating guilty parties!

Megavolt

[pointing at Quackerjack] He did it! He did it! I was only a passenger! He was driving!

Quackerjack

Nonsense! [stuttering nervously] I-I couldn't possibly drive! [The drones surround both him and Megavolt.] I-I don't have a license!

They're both guilty, but I was taken against my will!

Quackerjack

[to Megavolt] You blamed me! How could you possibly blame me?!

Megavolt

Well, it's because it's your fault, fly boy!

Gosalyn

Boy, Dad needs a major attitude adjustment. He sounds more like a bad guy than a good guy. [Once she reaches the tower, she finds, to her surprise, that the tower is mostly abandoned. She gasps] What?! Where'd everything go?! [She then finds Launchpad working on a car.] Launchpad!

Launchpad

[happily] Gosalyn!

Gosalyn

Oh, it sure is good to see a friendly face.

Launchpad

I'm not a sidekick anymore... all because I said criminals should be tried before sending them to the electric chair!

Gosalyn

Now, what's going on around here? The city looks like it's just been washed and waxed, the streets are deserted, and Dad's acting like Nobrain the barbarian. Boy, I slip away for a couple of decades, and the whole town goes down the tubes!

Gosalyn

I'm not afraid of your old gas gun!

Gas gun!? I haven't used a gas gun in years!

Darkwing

I don't know where you went, but you'll be sorry you came back! [Megavolt and Quackerjack scream and faint as they fall back inside the Time Top. Gosalyn pops out, causing the masked mallard to become angry with her.] Gosalyn!

Gosalyn

Darkwarrior?

Darkwing

Oh, perfect, gone five minutes and my own daughter forgets my name. Just like she forgot she was supposed to stay in the Ratcatcher.

Gosalyn

[looks down, happily] Launchpad!

Darkwing

Don't change the subject. I have had it with you, young lady. You are grounded for a month.

Gosalyn

No problem, Dad. That kind of justice I can handle. [hugs him]

Darkwing

Now don't argue with me. I-[looks slightly confused, hugs Gosalyn back]

Gosalyn

[crying] You never treated me like a hero! You just treat me like your baby girl! [storms out of the room]

Darkwing

[quietly] Because you are...

Darkwing

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the special news bulletin that interrupts your favourite show! I am Darkwiiing-

Gosalyn

Keen gear! A real super-villain; let's squish him!

Darkwing

Once again, the dauntless Darkwing Duck deftly defeats the demon's devious, uh...

Gosalyn

[mutters aside to him] Deviltry.

Darkwing

...deviltry.

Darkwing

Okay, okay, so he didn't respect me. So I only started fighting crime in a vain, pitiful attempt to win his approval. So what? ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?

Gosalyn

Oh golly gosh nooooo, Dad.

Darkwing

Of course not! And I'm gonna make him respect me if I have to break every bone in my body!

Gosalyn

I'm glad you came to your senses. Now will you ground me?

Negaduck

Ground you? Oh, I'll ground you alright! Into HAMBURGER! You'll spend the rest of your life paying for this!

Darkwing

The only way to really be happy is to be who you are, and nobody else.

Gosalyn

This from a man in a cape and mask.

Darkwing

Huh? Oh, oh I have to do this. For, uh, professional reasons. It's not like I'm maladjusted or anything; can't be that. Can it?