In 3 of the 241 quotes from Dan Vs.
Most scenes with: Chris (3), Dan (2)
Scenes with Mr. Bainbridge 3
Why are you wasting time at a stupid golf place? Mr. Mumbles' birthday party is 48 hours away and we don't even have a theme!
I'm not wasting time, I'm playing golf. It's my new hobby!
For the last time, your hobby is being my sidekick!
Mr. Bainbridge
[comes by] Hey C-man - is this vagrant bothering you?
Uh, no sir. Dan, this is my boss, Mr. Bainbridge. Mr. Bainbridge, this is my impertinent friend, Dan.
Mr. Bainbridge
Son, that is not why it's called a driving range. [chuckles]
Chris, I am going to count to 3. 1, [a golf ball smashes Dan's car windshield] WHO DID THAT?! I want a name! [he gets hit by a golf ball] GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF!!!
Mr. Bainbridge
Give me the wedge.
[dressed up like a Scottish Golfer, Scottish Accent] I don't see no wedge, mate. Nothing in here but golf clubs. [phone rings] Aye aye? This be him. No, I already get long distance service. Yes, I'll hear you out.
Mr. Bainbridge
Five strokes, right?
[Scottish Accent] Aye, sir.
[Scottish Accent] What did ye say? Nay, I will not accept a bribe from ye!
Mr. Bainbridge
What's going on here?
[Scottish Accent] This hooligan tried to pay me to raise his score.
Mr. Bainbridge
You mean lower his score?
[Scottish Accent] Um, sure.
Mr. Bainbridge
That's ridiculous.
[Scottish Accent] I completely agree.
Mr. Bainbridge
Why would you pay your caddy to lower your score? He should do it for free.
[Scottish Accent] Who's Dan? I'm Scotty the Scot.
[takes off hat and sunglasses, normal voice] Not until you quit playing golf forever!
Mr. Bainbridge
Chris, what is your impertinent friend doing here?
Stay out of this, fancy pants! This is between me and Chris!
Mr. Bainbridge
And security! [two security guards use binoculars, Mr. Bainbridge points at Dan]
You'll never take me alive!
Yes! [calls] Hey, it's Elise. Tell little Susie I'll be there in time for the freestyle rap battle!
[to an angry Mr. Bainbridge] Well, sir, the important thing is we had fun.
Mr. Bainbridge
You're fired! [walks away]
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Dan Vs. · 241 quotes
