Why are you wasting time at a stupid golf place? Mr. Mumbles' birthday party is 48 hours away and we don't even have a theme!
I'm not wasting time, I'm playing golf. It's my new hobby!
For the last time, your hobby is being my sidekick!
[comes by] Hey C-man - is this vagrant bothering you?
Uh, no sir. Dan, this is my boss, Mr. Bainbridge. Mr. Bainbridge, this is my impertinent friend, Dan.
Son, that is not why it's called a driving range. [chuckles]
Chris, I am going to count to 3. 1, [a golf ball smashes Dan's car windshield] WHO DID THAT?! I want a name! [he gets hit by a golf ball] GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF!!!
[dressed up like a Scottish Golfer, Scottish Accent] I don't see no wedge, mate. Nothing in here but golf clubs. [phone rings] Aye aye? This be him. No, I already get long distance service. Yes, I'll hear you out.
[Scottish Accent] Aye, sir.
[Scottish Accent] What did ye say? Nay, I will not accept a bribe from ye!
[Scottish Accent] This hooligan tried to pay me to raise his score.
You mean lower his score?
[Scottish Accent] Um, sure.
[Scottish Accent] I completely agree.
Why would you pay your caddy to lower your score? He should do it for free.
[Scottish Accent] Who's Dan? I'm Scotty the Scot.
[takes off hat and sunglasses, normal voice] Not until you quit playing golf forever!
Chris, what is your impertinent friend doing here?
Stay out of this, fancy pants! This is between me and Chris!
And security! [two security guards use binoculars, Mr. Bainbridge points at Dan]
You'll never take me alive!
PR Prescott Richman IV
But, even though Nigel almost got eaten by a lion, it was probably my best birthday ever.
That does sound like a good birthday.
No thanks, I'm pretty full.
I really think you should have one.
OK, Dan. I never thought I'd say this, but you were right. We need to break Chris of his golf habit. [Dan mumbles] What do you mean, "eh?"
I mean a few hours ago I would have agreed with you. But now, I see golf for what it really is. Massages, jaccuzzis, and my new friend, Prescott Richman IV.
You really think some rich slob can replace Chris?
Can and has. [walks away]
PR Prescott Richman IV
Dan! There you are! Nigel almost went looking for you.
Hey, Pres, after the jacuzzi, let's go shopping for my cat's birthday party.
PR Prescott Richman IV
Sorry, I've got a blimp regatta in an hour. Plus, I'm more of a dog person.
Yes! [calls] Hey, it's Elise. Tell little Susie I'll be there in time for the freestyle rap battle!
[to an angry Mr. Bainbridge] Well, sir, the important thing is we had fun.
You're fired! [walks away]
CH − Previous episode · S2 E6 The Monster Under the Bed CH + Next episode · S2 E9 The Wedding
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