[Dan arrives home and finds some kids selling lemonade in his neighborhood]
Hey, you kids! Either show me your vendor permits or get out of my spot!
So, what seems to be the problem here, mister?
MMoose
Yeah, mister. What's the problem?
Hey, kids. I don't mean to run you out of business, but you're kind of in my spot. So, I need to run you out of business. Or at least have you move.
Well, technically, I was here first. I live here. This is where I park.
I- Ahhh-I have no answer for that! [backs up his car and parks at a different spot] Children, can't live with them, can't hunt them for sport. [he walks upstairs but the Lemonade Stand Gang blocks his way]
I don't want any. I just want to go home. Out of the way, irksome urchins.
I wasn't asking. You're going to buy a cup of lemonade before you can pass.
Don't you threaten me, kid. I- [screams when Timmy splashes lemonade on his face] Hey!
A $1.25?! That's outrageous!
Pay up! Or Large Harold here will give you the deepest, longest-lasting charley horse you've ever had.
HHarold
I call it a Charles horse.
First of all, I don't carry cash. Second of all- [screams and trips when Moose poses a pushup] You'll pay for this, you hooligans.
[as he and the Lemonade Stand Gang comfront Dan] Did you just call us hooligans?
[as he is beaten up by the Lemonade Stand Gang] Get off me! You ankle-biting meatballs! [arrives at his apartment, injured and calls Chris]
Who else? Get over here, I have a major problem with minors. [screams as there is a note thrown through the window by The Lemonade Stand Gang, he picks up the note and reads it] "If you know what's good for you, don't mess with The Lemonade Stand Gang. Signed, The Lemonade Stand Gang." Those little beasts! LEMONAAAAAAAADE STAAAAAAAAND GAAAAAAAAANG!!!!!!!!!
No, thanks, buddy. I just bought one, remember?
I do not. Do you remember this guy buying anything?
MMoose
I don't remember nothin', boss.
Watch your double negatives, Moose.
Okay, kids. This has been fun, but I have to go. Come on, kids. I-- [gets splashed] Ahh! Hey! Look, you can't just bully people like this, you little hooligan.
What did you call us? Dolores!
[the Lemonade Stand Gang starts to beat up Chris]
Look, why can't you just leave me alone?
[Chris confronts The Lemonade Stand Gang]
Well, well, well. If it isn't the guy with no car.
MMoose
What? How come I don't get to express my opinions?
It undermines the dramatic effect of my statements.
Look, I tried it Dan's way for a little bit and I didn't like myself very much.
Huh, we don't like you much either.
We've all done things we regret, haven't we?
HHarold
Uh, I ate a frog once.
So let's stop treating each other like enemies and be friends. [Timmy kicks him] Ow!
See, mister, it's like this. Life is a 0-sum game. If you want something, you have to take it from someone else.
That's not true. You can- [Timmy kicks him again] Ow! Not my shins again.
[as he is beaten up by The Lemonade Stand Gang] Ow! Stop it! Ow!
[holding the tape] Now I've got you!
Get him! I want that tape!
[Dan runs off]
[checking his leg] Much better.
[Dan gives Elise the tape and runs off as The Lemonade Stand Gang finds the tape in the car]
[the teacher is having a meeting with The Lemonade Stand Gang's parents in the classroom]
TTeacher
And I'd just like to thank the wonderful efforts of--
[comes inside the classroom] May I have the floor for a moment? I'm a local resident who has been terrorized by a group of juvenile delinquents. [plays a video of the Lemonade Stand Gang] Here's footage of The Lemonade Stand Gang throwing lemonade on an elderly lady. And here's them kicking a citizen unmercifully in the shins.
TSTimmy's Mom
Is that my Timmy?
And if you look outside right now, you can see them destroying a car.
[everyone can see The Lemonade Stand Gang destroying a car outside from the window]
TSTimmy's Mom
[comes out the school and stops her son from destroying a car] Timmy! Stop that at once!
TSTimmy's Mom
Is this what you've been doing? Vandalism? Extortion? I wondered how your lemonade stand was making a thousand dollars a week.
TSTimmy's Mom
Well, no more! All that money is going to charity!
[The Lemonade Stand Gang parents pick up their kids and punish them]
MMoose
It was all Timmy's idea.
HHarold
[in the car] I regret nothing!
[The Lemonade Stand Gang parents drive away]
Dan Vs. · 241 quotes
