Dr. Pullum quotes from Dan Vs.

Dr. Pullum

[after he was defeated by Dan and Chris] All my work, for nothing! DAN!!!

Hey, Danny! Welcome back! Let's update your forms.

Dan

[walks away] It's "Dan" and I'm a grown man with grown man needs.

Chris

Hey! I'll be over here. [sits down and read a book along with a little boy until Dan shows up] She was cute.

Dan

She hates me.

Chris

Were you rude to her?

Dan

No! A little.

Chris

Only a little. Wow- that's a big step for you. You should ask her out.

Dan

Absolutely not! She's in league with the devil, a.k.a. my dentist.

[voiceover] Danny, we're ready for you now.

Dan

Call me "Danny" again and you'll be sorrier than you've ever been in your miserable worthless, tooth-scraping life.

Your son is weird.

Chris

He really is.

Dan

Unhand me, wench!

Sir, please quit struggling.

Dan

Why, so you can put me under and steal my kidneys? I'm not going to wake up in a bathtub full of ice.

Dr. Pullum

Well, hello, Danny. Nice to see you again.

Dan

You!

Dr. Pullum

Shall we take a looksee?

Dan

You can take a looksee at my fist, toothjacker.

Dr. Pullum

Now, let's just calm down. I promise I'll only look, okay? [looks at Dan's teeth] Oh, dear. Been some time since you've been in for a visit. How'd you break your tooth?

Dan

You know darn well it was your trap bear.

Dr. Pullum

Well, let's start with a simple cleaning. It won't hurt a bit, I promise.

Dan

Wait! No, no! Get away from me! [he freaks out while Chris and the kids feel embarrassed] Oh, my goodness! Ow! Help! Chris, save me!

Mama, I'm scared!

No, no, I'm sure he's fine, dear.

Dan

Oh! Please, just kill me! [the baby cries] Chris, help! I'm not going in there! [Chris goes out of the lobby to check on Dan] Oh, it burns! It burns!

Chris

How's it going?

Dr. Pullum

We haven't done anything yet. Haven't even touched him!

Dan

I know what you're planning! Chris, quick! Knock him unconscious! [the receptionist covers his mouth] Hey, wanna go to a movie with me?

Was he like that last time?

Dr. Pullum

He was smaller.

Dan

Stop right there, madman!

Dr. Pullum

Try a little Novocain! [he shocks Chris]

Chris

Oh, no, I'm going numb.

Dan

Now you're gonna get it!

Dr. Pullum

Not likely, I'm afraid. I call this the excruciator! [he shocks Dan] Did you really think you could stop me with brute force? I had a feeling about you, Danny.

Dan

It's Dan. I'm a grown man with a grown man's needs.

Dr. Pullum

While you were under sedation, I put a device in your dental implant. I can cause you excruciating agony any time I want.

Dan

You jerk!

Dr. Pullum

Whoo-hoo! It's one of my many inventions. I believe you're familiar with my enamel-seeking teddy bear. At any rate, I built this base as a test facility for my latest project. You see, I want even more than to just cause pain to countless children.

Dan

Chris, get up!

Chris

I can't, I'm all floppy.

Dr. Pullum

My new device, built as the heart of this fortress, will allow me to control the mind of anyone who's ever had a filling, crown, root canal, or bridge! It will be finished tomorrow, and then I shall rule the WORLD! [evilly laughs] And now our little game has come to an end. For what's it worth, you were the only one to figure me out. It's a shame I must destroy you now. Goodbye, Danny!

Dan

The name is Dan! [he throws his dental teddy bear to break Dr. Pullum's teeth which causes Dr. Pullum to whine, he then steps on the remote and crushes it] Ha! Brought low by your own nefarious device!

Dr. Pullum

My teeth! My beautiful teeth! [his teeth breaks as Dan hits the emergency button] No!

Self-destruct activated. 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Chris

Ow, ooh, ow!

Dan

You're so heavy.

Chris

Sorry.

Have a nice day, goodbye.

Dan

[satisfied] Now that's what I call tooth decay!

Chris

Ha.